(Closed) Are any other Bee's forgoing some wedding/reception traditions?

posted 8 years ago in Traditions
Post # 17
535 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

1. Spending the night before the wedding together
2. Co-ed shower and bachelor/bachelorette party
3. Seeing each other before the ceremony
4. Most likely not wearing a veil

Post # 18
367 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Fiance and I are walking down the aisle togther

No speeches (although I get a horrible feeling my uncle will talk)

No first dance (we are going to do it when everyone has gone – more intimate)

No father-daughter / mother-son dance

No bouquet toss

No garter toss (I was given a garter so I’m faking I lost it)

We’re seeing each other before the ceremony

We’re spending the night prior together

We’re not doing the kiss when people click their glass


I think that’s pretty much every tradition we’ve scrapped.

Post # 19
114 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

View original reply
@MrsPaulsBabyBallerina:  I love what you did with your toss bouquet – what a grand idea!  What a lovely sense of occasion. πŸ™‚

Post # 20
114 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

1) No garter toss.  The entire concept of a feigned intimate moment between my Fiance and I in front of 70 people makes us squeamish.

2) My parents are walking the aisle together, and I am walking alone.  My parents will both stand to give me away.  My father has mobility issues so this will give them time to get where they need to be, and not have to stand/walk as long with me.   Plus, I could never see just one person giving me away. Both my parents raised me and they both have just as much invested in this day as we do; especially emotionally.

3) No spotlight father/daughter, mother/son dance.  Fiance isn’t close to his mom and my relationship with my dad is rocky at best.  If we’re going to dance with them we can do that later when it’s more relaxed, and no pressure.

4) Spending the night before the wedding together; we won’t be separated until about 10 or 11am the day of the wedding.

5) No old/new/borrowed/blue.  I just couldn’t find many things that I really wanted to do, that weren’t so overused and tired.

6) No glass clinking here either.  One of our big rules was that we wanted to be able to sit down and enjoy the meal that we worked so hard to pay for! LOL.  So if people want us to kiss, they’ve got to stand up at their table and sing along to whatever song is currently being played by the DJ. πŸ™‚

7) Non-traditional music.  No wedding march for me!

Lots of other little stuff for us, but I won’t list them all. πŸ™‚

Post # 21
1561 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

we skipped the garter/bouquet tosses, and my dad refused to do a speech.  Thinking of it, my Maid/Matron of Honor didn’t give one either – just the Best Man.

Post # 22
13 posts
  • Wedding: October 2012

No speeches, no dancing, no announcing us at the reception, no garter toss, both parents are walking me down the aisle. We’re eating dinner, then playing all sorts of games…poker, bingo, cornhole, card games…and we’ve got a pinata (one for the girls/one for the guys–the girls’ will have chocolate candy in it, of course). We are doing a bouquet toss, because throwing flowers at people sounds like fun πŸ˜‰ I’m in that age group that means I’ve been to way too many weddings lately and the typical stuff kind of gets old after a bit. So we figured we’d just do something else.

Post # 23
1357 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I like the “Practical Wedding” approach: start with the things your really need (you, a spouse-elect, witnesses, and an officiant), then only add the things that are meaningful to you. I surprised myself with how much of the “traditional” stuff was actually very meaningful to Fiance and me.

Here’s some of what we don’t care for:

  1. No father/daughter, mother/son, wedding party, or anniversary dances
  2. No parent speeches or toasts
  3. No garter removal/toss
  4. Spending the night before the wedding together
  5. No bridal shower (not technically part of the wedding, but it’s apparently a shocker to some)
  6. Not sure we’re having readings
  7. No train on my dress. I know that may not seem revolutionary to some, but I was surprised how many people think a train is “a must”

Post # 24
1462 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

We are going to skip the rehearsal dinner because our guest are from out of town and we have schedule all the events for the week of the wedding. Final fitting on Tuesday for bridemaids and maid of honors. Wednesday we have having a rehearsal, Friday is bachelors day where they will drive racing cars and the girls and I will go to the spa at night we will have the Jack & Jill party. Saturday is the Wedding. 

Post # 25
1963 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

Spending the night together and sharing a romantic breakfast in the morning before we part ways to get ready, no bouquet and garter toss.

Post # 26
234 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

We are having a very non-traditional wedding I guess πŸ™‚

No readings, no bridesmaids or groomsmen (although we will likely have my brother and sister sign as witnesses,) my sons are walking me down the aisle, just a dinner for a reception so no bouquet toss or any of that. but we will have a cake πŸ™‚  We are having a very small wedding, probably only 16 people or so.

Post # 27
650 posts
Busy bee

Definately no boquet toss or garter toss

no father and daughter and mother and son dance and Fiance mom has passed away

dont think we will kiss after cutting the cake. i cant stand how silly guests get on to that 

NO bachelor or bachelorette party either


Post # 28
82 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

    1. Absolutely no bouquet toss or garter toss
    2. I am wearing a champagne and gold dress with no veil
    3. Both of my parents will walk me down the isle
    4. No first dance-it very rarely seems genuine to me and I am not comfortable with that much attention on a very intimate moment
    5. We are not having a wedding cake-only a dessert table so no cake cutting
    6. No father/daughter mother/son dance (FMIL NOT happy about that one)
    7. We are having “casino” type activities (with no monetary gambling – favors are personalized chips) for those who choose not to participate in the dance portion

    Come to think of it, I can’t think of many “traditional” things we will be doing Wink

Post # 29
9 posts
  • Wedding: March 2013

For us:

– No bouquet toss – I hand crafted mine and intend to keep it

– The garter toss doesn’t really happen here anyway (UK) so won’t be having that

– We’re sleeping in our own bed together the night before, but will separate for getting ready, however, we’re all meeting at the hotel together with the guests and walking to the registry office together so no big reveal walking down the aisle

– Definitely non-traditional music

– Having one bridesmaid but 3 best men

– Afternoon tea rather than full sitdown meal

– All flowers are hand knitted or sewn by me – means my entire flower bill has come in at £30!

Post # 30
846 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

not sending save-the-dates

not walking down the aisle to traditional music

not doing a unity candle or sand ceremony and also not having any readings 

not having a designated maid-of-honor or best man 

my dress is not white (ivory lace over light gold) and FI’s tux is not black (tan)

not having programs at the ceremony

no speeches at the reception

no bouquet toss or garter toss

most if these aren’t really that “different” in my opinion but my mom seems to think i’m like committing a crime or something..


Post # 31
504 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@mishagirls79:  I have a ton of traditions I’m balking at- have you considered doing the wine box ceremony? 

As for me:

No white dress.

No first dance.

No arranged bride/groom side seating.

No flower girl/ring bearer.

Half of my bridal party are boys- half of the groomsmen are ladies

No kids except my youngest brother and my younger cousin (bridal party)

Photos before the service- (it’s an outdoor night wedding in the southern fall-unavoidable really)

No traditional ‘wedding march’. (we’re currently thinking the instrumental of Arcade Fire’s Crown of Love)

Also no toasts are happening (our families are both drinkers πŸ™‚ ), our vows are non traditional. No father/daughter – mother/son dance. 

Our wedding cake will be an apple pie ice cream cake. 

No garter/boquet tossAlso our first kiss is starting with an inside joke we have (if you watch Community- we’re doing Abed & Troy’s high five)

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