(Closed) Are any other Bee's forgoing some wedding/reception traditions?

posted 7 years ago in Traditions
Post # 32
3 posts
  • Wedding: December 2012

It’s nice to see that other people are going non-traditional.  I feel like some people are shocked that I’m doing my own thing.  Not walking down to a traditional song, I have two bridesmaids and two men (my brothers) standing with me, and no toasts.  Since we are getting married older (mid 30’s) we are leaning towards no bouquet toss or garter toss as there are maybe a handful of singles in our group of friends, and most of them, will probably hide during the tosses.  I do like the idea of an Anniversary Dance, i think that is sweet, so we will probably do that instead.  I’m also trying to reconfigure our first dance and mother/son – father/daughter dances.   

Post # 33
5 posts
  • Wedding: April 2013

@RagDoll:  your list is just as long as mine. im not the all eyes on me type of girl so we cut all the spot light things and my fi and i dont like any traditions but the vows and the cutting of the cake. but we will still enjoy every minute.  its about what makes us happy not what people expect for our wedding.Laughing

Post # 34
778 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

1)  No garter/bouquet toss

2)  No kissing when people chime on their glasses

3)  Cash bar (we have a lot of people in recovery invited to the wedding)

4)  No engagement photos

5)  Metal music will be played at the reception

6)  No dollar dance/hokey pokey/other lame party dances


Post # 35
157 posts
Blushing bee

No Garter Toss here – he can take it off later in private when my Dad/Brother/Uncles aren’t watching! 

Post # 36
1068 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

People are so vehemently opposed to the garter toss! I love it! It’s like the one thing I AM doing!


No dance floor, DJ, or Band (bowling and pool instead)

No cake (French macarons! Natalie Portman copied my idea and I’m not happy about it.)

No white dress (Nude colored dress)

No bridal party

No father/daughter mother/son dances

No cake cutting

No engagement photos

No dollar dance (some people think this is traditional, some don’t)

No kissing on demand (this isn’t a free show, people)

No programs

No favors

No centerpieces

Untraditional vows

No readings

No kids

ABSOLUTELY UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES will I be doing a goofy entrance where I dance around like an idiot to some lame song by Ke$ha.




Post # 37
561 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

no seats or cover at our ceremony in the park, just folks standing around. 

probably will walk down the aisle alone or possibly with my teenage daughter and have if meet me halfway or something 

Cash bar and a keg

no engagement photos

no bridal or grooms party-best man is his brother technically and my 17 yr old daughter will probably be as close to what a maid of honor would’ve been. 

probably keeping my bouquet we dont really want to do the garter either

I saw on 4weddings where they had a lot of drinking at their wedding when they skipped the traditional ‘entertainment’ bc all folks had to do was sit around and drink… not sure but worth a thought. 

I just saw on here how some folks are spending the night before together, hadnt thought about it, but I guess we’ll be doing that too, we only have a hotel room for the evening of our wedding. Lol. 

the more we get into this, th emore we see that some traditions are just not worth our time and some are pretty silly. our parents seem to be really into the whole wedding thing, or we would’ve done the courthouse and dinner and be done with it.

but it’s turning out to be pretty close to EXACTLY what WE want, not everyone else, which is important to us. with all of the traditional stuff thrown in, it doesn’t really feel like YOUR day, and that’s the most important part, no reason to stress out over what it’s supposed to be or what you’re supposed to do, at the end of the day, you want to look back and remember the good time you had and how much fun it was. So, we think, keep it simple with what YOU want.  

Post # 38
1332 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

we are not having a ring bearer or a flower girl.

Post # 39
27 posts
  • Wedding: April 2013

I was really nervous that my mom was going to be really upset that we are forgoing a lot of the traditional stuff. I was pleasantly surprised by her response that she had already told friends of the family that she really didn’t expect us to have the most traditional wedding ever when it came to traditions. Examples:

I’m not doing a unity candle, or sand, or any of that during the ceremony. I haven’t decided what we may do in lieu of this, and we may not replace it with anything. It just has no personal meaning to either of us whatsoever, and I would rather spend that time either saying something meaningful to each other or potentially incorporating our own vows.

No garter/bouquet toss. I’ve always thought the bouquet toss was awful, and when I thought about the majority of our friends-there are few that are still single (and if they are, the majority are in serious relationships) and this would just make the whole thing even more awkward. We weren’t going to do anything in place of it until I saw the option on our DJ form that we could do an anniversary dance (all married couples come to the dance floor, DJ eliminates couples t/o the song by how long they are married. At the end, the longest married couple is the last one standing and wins) and the winner would get the bouquet (which I already know will be my grandmother, and I know she will LOVE this.)

No traditional head table. A friend of mine did this and I thought it was amazing. It’s so awkward as a bridesmaid/groomsmen to sit at the traditional head table and feel like everyone’s watching you eat. And as bride/groom, you can really only hold a conversation over dinner with either your husband/wife, or your best man/moh. We decided instead to do a “Captains” or “Kings” table. All of our guest tables are round, and there will be a large rectangular table in the front of the room where the head table would’ve been-my FH and I will be sitting in the center of the front of that table (Facing our guests) and our bridal party/all of their dates (we actually have several couples in the bridal party, but the ones who SO’s are not will have their SOs up there with us). Some of the bridal party will have their backs to the guests, but this way we can all talk and enjoy each other over dinner. These are after all some of the most important people in our lives, and we want to spend that time with them.

No MOH/Best Man. This one was a little tough for us because my FH’s brother would’ve been the best man, and we were nervous with how he would feel. We decided to go this route because we have SO many people that mean so much to us in our bridal party and we just didn’t want to choose to be blunt. It was obvious to us that one of the groomsmen (he’s my best guy friend, as well as one of my FH’s best friends, and has been for half of our lives-even though we’ve been dating for 3 years) It just makes sense that he would give our toast even though traditionally the best man would. Similar with my bm’s.


I don’t think there’s any problem with the choices you’ve made whatsoever. This is YOUR day and you only get one. Make it your own.

Best of luck!!


Post # 40
142 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

No dances

no dj

no tossing of anything

no white dress ( this might change though)

nothing formal ( for example, might have my moh wear a nice top and jeans/ skirt)

small guest list

No flower girl/ ring bearer

ceramony and reception at an Irish pub ( still crossing my fingers on getting the venue!)



But…..I’m not opposed to speeches, readings, or my dad giving me away….aisle  or not 😀

Post # 41
142 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

Oh and no registry! We have been living together and have pretty much all we need.

Post # 42
986 posts
Busy bee

No garter REMOVAL. There will be one for Fiance to toss, however there WILL NOT be a moment in our reception in which he dives under my dress. No thanks. So we’re getting a dummy one to toss, and I’ll wear a special one for later on. 

So yes to tossing, no to removal. I guess it will just magically appear, haha.

Post # 43
54 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@Tangled:  It’s 4:21 am and after a long graveyard shift that Ke$ha comment made me laugh till I nearly peed myself. Thanks!

Post # 44
54 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

This thread makes me feel so much better about my own decisions to forego wedding traditions.  I want our wedding to reflect me and my Fiance and what makes us “us”. I don’t want to go through the motions of doing something for the sake of tradition or social acceptance.

For us:

I’ll walk down the aisle alone or with my daughter

One “bridesmaid” one “best man” – that’s it

No flower/garter toss (fabric bouquet I intend to keep and no thanks to the leg show!)

No dancing (Lunch and then outdoor activities instead)

Hopefully no speeches (groom and I disagree on this one..)

No “something borrowed, something blue”

No favors (destination wedding, low budget for favors and I don’t want my guests to have to tote something through security)

I’m sure there’s more…


Post # 45
883 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

The NO’s for me were:

No bouquet toss

No garter toss

No grand entrance at party (venue was too small)

No cake cutting

No speeches/toasts

No head table (we sat at the bar!)


However we had a very traditional church (Protestant) ceremony; traditional music, vows, order of service.  My 81 dad escorted me down the aisle. I wore a lace gown, with a birdcage veil.  Our party was a very informal one at a local restaruant where we are regulars. Everyone said it was the greatest.

Post # 46
116 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Seems that many of us have a lot in common!Smile

For us:

-No bachelor/bachelorette party

-Stayed together the night before and the morning of

-Nothing old/new/borrowed/blue

-Didn’t have a flower girl or ring bearer

-Walked down the aisle to Metallica

-No bouquet/garter toss

-No dancing

-No DJ or MC

-No special entrance to the reception

-We didn’t wait long to cut the cake and serve it. I hate waiting forever to eat cake at receptions, ugh!


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