(Closed) Are any other Bee's forgoing some wedding/reception traditions?

posted 9 years ago in Traditions
Post # 47
650 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

We’re skipping almost everything, I think? I am American and he is Belgian. I am moving there for good (finally) on Jan. 31st and we are getting married on Feb. 2nd.

We are getting married at the town hall in the center of Brugge (it’s beautiful!).

None of my family will be there. Immediate family and his best friend will be coming.

We are doing brunch with his mom’s side of the family and dinner with his dad’s side. No traditional reception stuff.

I will be wearing a white lace mermaid gown with Tiffany blue lining.

There will be no flowers.

No maid of honor, best man, flower girl, ring bearer.

Nobody walking me down any aisles.

No rice throwing.

No garter.

And so on and so on. It will be small and intimate. We will be surrounded by loved ones and sharing time with them the rest of the day. We won’t be putting all of our hard earned money into things that don’t really matter to us in the long run. I love all the wedding stuff just as much as the next woman. I just don’t feel a great need for it. There are much better things I can think to spend our money on. We have a new place to furnish! πŸ™‚

Post # 48
3479 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY

No white dress (blush-champagne instead), no bouquet/garter toss, no father speech (I didn’t even know that was the norm!), no ring bearer, no official engagement photos, online RSVP’s (I think), water ceremony with water from lakes in our hometown, no arranged ceremony sitting, no head table

and no “giving away of the bride”! That’s crap!

Post # 49
3479 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY

@soontobebe:  Did you see the movie En Bruges?!!! So beautiful!

Post # 50
650 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

@lealorali:  Lol yes. Strange movie, but the characters were really funny. It is definitely a picturesque city and has tons of tourists. πŸ™‚

Post # 51
439 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I’m still so far out but have thought about a lot of this stuff!

We will stay together the night of the wedding and then have a nice breakfast together before heading our own ways to get ready

I am having two bridesmaids and he isn’t having any groomsmen (granted one of my bridesmaids I met through him so they were friends first, I think she will stand on his side during the cerremony)

We’re doing a first look and will get all the photos before the ceremony, fiance and i will meet first and then my bridesmaids and then I think family will come and meet us for family photos but not sure if i want to wait and do family photos afterwards..

My mum will walk me down the aisle and give me away. I’m also going to give my mum a flower out of my bouquet once she’s walked me down the aisle and then after the ceremony before we walk back down the aisle I’ll take another flower from my bouquet and give to my mother in law (read this on the bee I think and loved the idea!)

No first dance as i feel it will be awkward but i would like to do a father/daughter and mother/son dance (my fiance is the last of the 3 kids to get married adn the other two are girls so fiances mum hasn’t had a chance to do this it’s always been the dad)

No garter toss or bouquet toss

We’re not doing a head table, i think we will just sit with our family.

Like someone else said i think it’s almost the norm to go non-traditional these days, but then my best friend is getting married next weekend and hers is the opposite they are doing all the traditional stuff. I just wanted to make it more of a fun day for us rather than all the stuff we ‘have’ to do just because it’s a wedding. We just set our date last week and even though it’s still SO FAR AWAY i’m really excited!


Post # 52
1943 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

No bouquet or garter toss

No kissing on demand

No crazy entrance

No dollar dance for sure, it’s traditional in my FI’s family but I can’t imagine anything more tacky. Yes, the T word.  But just my opinion I know some people love it.

No flower girl/ ring bearer

Not having programs at the ceremony

Probably not having any readings, though I may let my mom do one if it’s important to her.

No father/daughter etc dances (at least not planned, I would give in if my dad tells me he really wants one though)

No train on my dress

No traditional wedding march

Ceremony is taking place outside in a redwood circle not in a church πŸ™‚

Post # 53
93 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Non-traditional music 

No boquet or garter toss (I find the garter toss gross)

No flower girl or ring bearer (no young people that we are close to)

No Maid of Honor (my 2 sisters are my bridemaids and I couldn’t and wouldn’t decide)

No dollar dance (It give me shivers up my spine)

No rice throwing

No kissing on demand 

Having our Reception at a Chinese Restaraunt

We are setting up a candy bar and giving our guests boxes to fill with candy for favours

Bacholor party will be mocktails and watching Tangled on DVD with my sisters

Considering a no gifts shower 

Post # 54
247 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Stanley House Inn

We are eliminating a lot of what you all are as well.


No DJ (we both DJ’d – we have more music than should be possible), but a good sound system and a playlist.


No dance – most of our friends only dance when they get trashed, and I don’t want them trashed at my wedding reception (that’s what the after-party is for) and Fiance thinks 1st dance is too much attention focused on us (I agree!)


My dad is walking with me down the aisle


Tables in rounds, no court-style seating


We will bring a “wedding day corn-hole” game for people to play on the patio


Lots of food and fun with a very short ceremony – we love an excuse to have a party and eat!


Favors will be small plants and beer koozies with our date on them (everyone needs koozies!)


We’re focusing on the celebration of our time together – not just the wedding. I think this is something some family members are missing – we’ve been together for 7 years, so this is just a new path in our relationship, not an initial commitment. That seems to be the least traditional thing of all, I think.


No registry unless Fiance decides he can find some goodies – we’ve got what we want and need


Pretty sure there will be no speeches other than a thank you for coming and celebrating type deal.


Photos before ceremony (don’t want teary-eyes or sweaty faces for photos)


No flowers (maybe, just maybe a rose boutinere for him) and no ribbon if I can help it

Edit: Those of you that have had your wonderful magical moments – is there anything you didn’t do that you wish you did?

Post # 55
66 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I’m not having dancing, which surprises a lot of people. I don’t like to dance and so I just didn’t want to have it. I’ve had people nag me about having a first dance and a father-daughter dance, but I really can’t handle it.


I’m not having a ring bearer either.


I’m not having a bachelorette party, not because I’m afraid of what will happen (lol) but I don’t like being the center of attention, which sounds super strange since I’m getting married, lol!


My dress isn’t white. Um…no wedding programs as well.

Post # 56
247 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Stanley House Inn

@najordan89 I don’t want a bachelorette party either! Fiance wants one since his BFF will be in town and they can go act like idiots one last time before wedding πŸ™‚


BMs think I need one, so with all they are already doing for me, I will acquiesce so that they can have a celebration (I think it is more for them than for me).

Post # 57
26 posts
  • Wedding: June 2014

Oh yes! We’re forgoing a lot of ‘traditions’. Since we first ever started talking about a future wedding (pre-engagement), we said we were not interested in having an overly traditional (cliche?) wedding. So we are looking to have 50 people at an elegant downtown restaurant. We are going for a more intimate, dinner party feel!




So this means the following:




– no bridal shower 


– no bachelorette party but I might treat myself to a trip to NYC and shopping…a last tribute to my carefree days as a single girl ha ha!


– no bridal party


– no garter or bouquet tosses


– no speeches


– no guest books


– no favours


– no limo rentals


– no wedding registries


– no father/daughter, son/mother dances


– And I believe I will walk down the aisle either with Fiance himself or alone πŸ™‚ 


I will be wearing a wedding dress (with veil and bouquet) and Fiance is opting for a sharp suit and tie he can wear again as opposed to a tux. And we are having a professional photographer and having a cake! I love wedding cakes πŸ™‚ 








Post # 58
143 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@mishagirls79:  OMG!!!! The cigar thing is genius. I wanted a cigar rolling station and FH said no but perhaps I can persuade him to have a moment to kick back and enjoy a nice cigar? With your permission…may I swagger jack your idea?

Post # 60
81 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Hell yes!


We are leaving behind in the dust…

1) the bouquet toss

2) the garter removal (eww!)

3) dancing! (DH doesn’t really dance, and we didn’t want to force a dance party with 50 guests. most people leave after the cake cutting anyway!).  Although we DID have a short first dance when we entered the reception, because I didn’t want to give that up.

4) Favors.  They’re over-thought by couples and under-appreciated by guests, IMO 


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