Are big expensive weddings worth it?

posted 4 months ago in Venue
Post # 2
Member
131 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2019 - The Oaks Lakeside

Hello! 

I completely understand how you feel. However, from my own experience I can say that although I loved my wedding and it was beautiful, it was just one day. I’m glad we had a nice wedding, but it would have been nice to have more money to start out our marriage on, or to invest in a house or a nicer honeymoon. Now that the wedding is over, all the decorations and my dress and other such things dont get used but they are items i put a lot of money into for one day. I understand the dream you picture in your head- I had a dress I was DYING to wear, but in the end I decided the extra money it would cost wasnt necessarily worth it for just one day. No matter where you have your wedding- or what dress you wear- you will look back on your wedding day as the most amazing celebration of your love and it wont matter once the day is over if it wasnt exactly what you pictured. If I were you, I would go with the one you have already booked that will save you money, and have an AMAZING honeymoon or buy a house instead. 

Post # 4
Member
50 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2021

So my wedding is a couple of months away and honestly I did get the venue I wanted, but let me tell you what I have enjoyed the most: no stress. You won’t regret going with the cheaper all inclusive because you won’t be running around like a chicken with it’s head cut off. I have been relaxed the whole process because my venue includes almost everything. All of my friends who are planning weddings are super stressed and freaking out! 

Post # 5
Member
756 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2021

I definitely don’t think an expensive wedding is worth it! I actually think expensive weddings are kind of silly and wasteful. Think of all the things you could do with 15K! That is SO much money… do you really want to use it on one single 8 hour party? 

I’m generally a pretty thrifty person and I’ve never had a “fairytale wedding” vision for myself, so maybe I’m the wrong person to answer this question, but the thought of spending 15K on a wedding venue ALONE gives me serious anxiety! All I can think about is all of the other things I could do with all of that money.

At the end of the day, this really is your choice! It’s your money, and if spending it on your wedding is what’s going to make you happy, you should go for it! At the same time, the advice that “it’s just one day,” is really good advice, which is probably why you keep hearing it. Your wedding isn’t even one whole day, it’s actually just a few hours! Just ask yourself if there really isn’t something better you’d like to use the money for than this one party. 

Post # 6
Member
1000 posts
Bumble bee

The answer to this has nothing to do with weddings, and everything to do with your financial situation and what the marginal money spent will mean to your life

Post # 7
Member
8425 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

In my opinion, no I don’t think it’s worth it. I would much rather have a down payment on a house or a brand new car than a half day party.

Post # 8
Member
275 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

Agree with PP that this depends on your financial situation. I got married in my 30s when I was financially stable and I don’t regret spending the extra money on my dream venue at all. I’m so happy I did it. Even though it was one day, the venue was very special to me (I used to visit it as a child) and I will always treasure the memories of being there with my family and friends and getting to share it with all of them.

If I had gotten married when I was younger/less financially stable I think I might have regretted spending the extra money if it had prevented us from reaching other dreams (i.e. buying a house).

Post # 9
Member
39 posts
Newbee

Whether or not a big expensive wedding is worth it depends entirely on your preferences and financial situation. What’s considered expensive to some may not be expensive for others. I never dreamt of a big fairytale wedding so a smaller wedding with just family, close friends and people we truly care about is preferable. I personally would rather spend the extra money on vacations and/or home renovations.

Post # 10
Member
2671 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

Personally, I was happy to put a big chunk of money towards a house down payment and elope.  We paid for everything ourselves and I couldn’t fathom spending so much money for one day.  To each their own, obviously as a wedding website there are people on here with very elaborate and expensive weddings.  

Post # 11
Member
228 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2019

I agree with PPs that stated this is all dependent on your financial status and what your priorities are for your wedding. My husband and I had to pay for our own wedding, we are in late 20s, have good careers, and already own a home. We were both in agreement that spending over $30K for a wedding was ridiculous even though we were able to so we opted for a destination wedding that cost us a total of $12K which includes the one week of vacation and my wedding dress. 

I have no regrets. I have attended other weddings where they opted to pay over $15K for their dream venue and saved money in other areas that in my personal opinion was not worth it.

For example, my friend had an outdoor wedding in a prestigious plantation in the South but had her own wedding guests help clean up and deliver chairs back to the rental company after the reception was over. My husband and I had to stick around to help and it was not pre-planned or talked about. The guests just felt bad watching the groom and bride clean up on their own so of course everyone helped. They also had a taco buffet that was not catered. It was just weird. It was a very fancy venue but everything about the wedding was casual. 

It was clear they could not afford the venue and probably should have opted for something else. Not trying to throw shade on their big day but just being honest. 

It is definitely all objective and up to you. I do not regret my wedding at all. It was a perfect day and a perfect budget for us. 

Post # 12
Member
13554 posts
Honey Beekeeper

I think this is an example of the old saying “if you have to ask..” Unless you are on track for current and future financial goals, no debt, with sufficient emergency savings and insurance coverage, have secure jobs/incomes with a promising future, then it would not be worth it in your place to spend that amount or more on a party.  A child would also quickly shift my priorities. 

Post # 13
Member
1056 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

My wedding was large and I don’t regret that. Having all our loved ones there was super important to me.

However, it was below the average cost for the UK. It was about £15k all in, excluding honeymoon. I can’t imagine spending that much simply on venue hire so to me it wouldn’t have been worth it. The people were what made it special, and the venue was appropriate for the numbers and the vibe we wanted. In itself the venue was nothing special. It was nice enough. 

If we’d had a larger venue with multiple rooms, then I actually think it would have killed the atmosphere because everyone would have been rattling around and separated. Definitely worth thinking about that. 

Post # 14
Member
230 posts
Helper bee

$15K is a significant amount for an empty venue, but if you have the means to do it all and you’re on track to reach your financial goals, go for it. We had an amazing wedding and honeymoon, and looking back, I’d do it again even with the stresses of planning for a non all-inclusive venue. No regrets there, but the choice of venue was really important to us and it may not be for some others.

 

Otherwise, is there a middle ground to achieve your dream? For instance, our venue charged $4k more for a Saturday night wedding than a Friday night one. Having a wedding in an “off” season was also less expensive. Is that an option?

 

Or what about continuing to look at other venues? Surely there’s another venue that has similar vibes to the first venue but is more affordable. I’d continue looking. 

Post # 15
Member
49 posts
Newbee

I feel very strongly that going into debt or financial insecurity for one’s wedding isn’t worth it. Other than that, I say go with your heart. It might only be “one day” but big events exist on in our memories. Sure I have so much happiness thinking back to my own wedding, but I have all these memories I engage with all the time that came from weddings of friends and family. Moments in time are as important as the things we own and are tangible. That being said, and my one caveat on this, is that people rarely remember the fine details. So just keep that in mind. Most people will remember the conversations they had at your wedding, the jokes, the fun. The food. But what colour the napkins were? Not so much. You can let go of some things. 🙂 

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