Are big expensive weddings worth it?

posted 4 months ago in Venue
Post # 46
40 posts
  • Wedding: September 2017

Unlike most of the people responding, I think a wedding is a nice experience. However, there’s definitely not a reason to spend a crazy amount of money on it. The best weddings I’ve been to have been the ones on a tight budget.

Post # 47
7904 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

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@stream26:  I don’t think anyone was suggesting a wedding is not a nice experience.

I’ve been to a LOT of weddings and had a couple myself. The main points have been 1) plan what you can afford, 2) extravagance does not equal better or more memorable and 3) absolutely do not go into debt for a party.

Post # 48
556 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2020

Most people I know regretted having a big wedding. 

I would never have a big wedding even though we could afford it


You will be stressed out 99% of time and it will fly by, spend this $$$ on something else

People will forget about your wedding in a few weeks lol

Post # 49
1066 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2022 - Studio City , CA

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@AnonBee2019:  Agreed.  Wecouldhavealavish wedding but we are opting not to in favor of dream ring, dress and month long honeymoon.  Our wedding is costing 11,000.00 in my parents backyard which is dreamy and the perfect venue. 

Post # 50
1669 posts
Bumble bee

We had a huge wedding and no regrets here! It’s a special day in our lives and we went all out. My family also tends to go all out for graduations and Christmas and birthdays and other “milestone” events too xo 

Post # 51
10094 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

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About first class. I have learned that if you check right before your departure, the airlines frequently offer vacant first class seats for super cheap.

Check your flight info online, the info is usually posted in the area of the seating chart. I have flown first class across the country for $150.

I just did it again a few months ago. Thank gawd. I had just had stomach surgery in South America, first class was a gift from the universe.

It also doesn’t hurt to ask the gate agent before boarding if any upgrades are available. I was able to fly first class from NY to California for something like $150. Great seats, front row, so there was plentry of room. Unfortunately, my seat made would not stop talking about nothing. Fortunately, she got off in Salt Lake.

You might find that you like going luxe now and then.

Post # 52
93 posts
Worker bee

Personally, expensive weddings aren’t for me. I would MUCH rather spend money on an amazing honeymoon, a downpayment for a house and future kids. It’s not worth it to me. I would like a beautiful wedding, of course, but there are many ways to do that without spending $50k. For instance, I’ll probably buy the decorations at the Dollarstore because I’m only using them for one night! I am also a huge introvert and generally don’t like people lol so I would like a small wedding. Small but beautiful is my cup of tea. 

Post # 53
22 posts

I think the crux of SOME of this could be how comfortably you can afford your wedding.  We had a big expensive wedding with the dream ring, dress, luxe honeymoon, etc and we didn’t have to sacrifice in other areas financially to do so.  We also got extremely, extremely lucky with parents who had long planned to host their daughter’s wedding and had the dispoasable income to do so.  We’ll be forever grateful.  If it would have put my parents in an uncomfortable situation financially or it would have prevented us from purchasing a home, if we had debt (aside from our now mortgage), etc it would not at all be worth it.  We would never have prioritized a big expensive wedding over achieving our financial goals nor would we have accrued debt for a wedding.

Post # 54
33 posts
  • Wedding: August 2021 - London, UK

I think that whatever decision you make you will be happy with it in the end. So much can change between now and then that might force you to downsize etc. so keep your eye on the prize – having your family and friends around happy and healthy to join you on your special day and of course marrying your person! Let me tell you it is just a day and the day after will be life as usual (unless you jet off on honeymoon right away). We never wanted an expensive wedding anyway but with COVID and neither of our parents being able to attend (they all live abroad and COVID restrictions prevented them from travelling easily) we had to have a small ceremony in the town hall with just the two of us, two friends as witnesses and all of our loved ones on a Zoom call that portrayed the ceremony beautifully for them. This was very different from what I had imagined. You could say that we should have waited until next year but the most important thing for us was being being married and moving forward with our lives. All in with the cost of the town hall ceremony, clothing and hotels the night before we spent a total of £1000. We are not short of money but we really want to use our saving to build our life together. Next year when travel is easier we will travel to both countries and have huge parties! Can’t wait 🙂 I do appreciate the standard cost of weddings and the sentiment around them so go with your gut and respect your finances both for the day and your life afterwards. No point having a grand day but suffering the financial fallout for a long time! That is a huge fun-suck 🙂 Good luck with your decision and on the day!

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