(Closed) Are 'Bridesmaid Gifts' REALLY necessary?

posted 4 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 61
Member
15 posts
Newbee

I am a bridesmaid in 3-weeks’ time and the bride is paying for my hair and make-up, my hair jewellery and earrings. 
I defintily do not expect a gift! She also thinks she is going to re-imburse my dress costs (I live overseas) but I’m not going to let her do that either.

So I bought my own shoes, clutch bag for an SOS kit and bridesmaids dress (and a plane ticket from Australia to the UK!) and still don’t expect a present. So go with your gut feeling. Friends should apprecaite that you have already put a lot of money in.

A thanks in the speeches would be enough for me! 🙂

Post # 62
Member
182 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

View original reply
@ fairybread052   When I asked my 9 girls to be my bridesmaids, I sent them each a card asking them to be mine and said I could and would not say yes without them by my side on my special day. Then we had bridal shower and I bought each of them gifts. In return, all my 9 bridesmaids made many cute presents and gave me gifts and showered me with attention and love. We went out after the high tea and champagne bridal shower to a club and had major awesome night. We’ll be having a hen spa day and champagne again soon and I’m looking forward to treat them with medi and pedi. It’s all about being honest; giving and taking. If they’re happy and you’re happy then why not exchange gifts?

Post # 63
Member
275 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

The first time I was a bridesmaid, the bridesmaids paid for everything – dresses, hair, makeup, spa, shoes, hotel accomodations if we chose to stay, etc. Our gift was a pair of earrings that we were expected to wear with the dress. That said, the bride did not expect a wedding gift as a result. While I honestly paid more to be a bridesmaid than I would have on a wedding gift, I’m glad that I was there for her on her wedding day.

I’m surprised at how many brides actually are paying for the party’s expenses, so especially in that situation I could understand not paying for an expensive gift. I don’t think gifts are ever necessary if you make your gratitude known, but even a simple gift can have a lasting impression if that is what you’d like to do.

Post # 64
Member
2171 posts
Buzzing bee

No, you do not have to give gifts to the BMs, especially in this situation. 

 

Just another example of how the wedding industry has influenced all of us into thinking that something is required when it really isn’t, so that all these companies can make money off of brides who feel the need to fit into these made up expectations. 

Post # 65
Member
5398 posts
Bee Keeper

View original reply
@ fairybread052   Well since you are paying for everything, I would say no. It’s really up to you. You don’t have to go for broke either. You can just get a small thoughtful gift and card. Or just a card.

Post # 66
Member
5 posts
Newbee

I have known brides to cover the costs of some of the Bridesmaid or Best Man expenses as the gift.  Since you are doing that, no, in this case it would not be expected.  Maybe a thank you card, but I feel you covering their expenses is their gift.  

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