(Closed) Are bridesmaids supposed to help? and MOH is driving me crazy.. (long)

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
571 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

How many guests are you having? Are you ordering the appetizers from room service?

Post # 4
Member
571 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I think you can have heavy appetizers & cake but because your ceremony is around dinner time I think most of your guests will expect dinner. How did you word it on the invitation? I am also having a Vegas wedding in June, but during the day. Is it possible you could do your ceremony earlier so that it isn’t right around dinner time?

Post # 6
Member
720 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

It sounds like you have a few problems going on. I’ll see if I can break it down and answer. (You might want to try to edit so you can make paragraphs – that was a long read!)

1. Are bridesmaids supposed to help? You’ll find a variety of answers to this question here. Some brides think the wedding party should be all over the plans, making it happen. Other brides think the wedding party should be there for the big stuff (rehersal, shower, day off), and some in the middle. I think the wedding party should help out where they can, as their time and finances permit, within the bride’s comfort zone. For example, I’m not asking my wedding party to do very much. They were a huge help at our engagement party on the weekend (coats, helping people mingle, taking pictures, etc) but I don’t expect them to help me with invitations and stuff like that.

2. Your Maid/Matron of Honor should definitely not have her nose in your wallet, or your father’s wallet, period. Out of line. I can see why she’d want to know what SHE might have to pay for, but what your dad is paying for (or not) is not her business.

3. Your Maid/Matron of Honor sounds pretty negative. Making it sound like your wedding won’t be “good enough” for her is good enough reason in my book to give her the boot, wedding and friendship. Your wedding is not about the money you spend, but the love you share.

Post # 7
Member
571 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@dcruz72:  That sounds lovely! Do you have a suite to accomodate 50 people? There are no reules that say you need a sit down dinner. As long as you have food to eat, I don’t see what business it is of your Maid/Matron of Honor

Post # 8
Hostess
2634 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@dcruz72:  sounds like your bridesmaids may be a bit dramatic. They need to be honest and tell you if they can afford to go or not. 

as for the dinner, don’t worry, I would say pay for the best appitizers and the fanciest cake you can find. I would also suggest that you have your cake reception in a different room then your bridal suite, then you and your groom can leave quickly to your room and leave the rest to fend for themselves…they are in vegas…they can figure it out. 

Also, I don’t think your bridesmaids have to help you with everything for the wedding. They are supposed to do the shower and the bachelorette…at least they can step it up for that. 

Post # 10
Member
2972 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

If your fiance thinks you need more help planning the wedding, why doesn’t he help you?

 

It sounds like your Maid/Matron of Honor and BMs did try to help you plan the wedding in the beginning, but you had different visions. As Maid/Matron of Honor of my best friend’s wedding, I was there to offer my opinion on things (venue, her dress, colors, etc.) and I (along with the other girls) are planning her shower and bachelorette, but it’s HER wedding. Not mine. Not any of the other girls. Her wedding, the planning is on her. If she asked me specifically for help I will of course offer suggestions and opinions, but what she wants to do and ends up doing are her (and her fiance’s) choice.

 

How far is Vegas from where you live and where most of your guests live? I do think that if it’s quite far you should feed them at dinner time, but it sounds like you are anyway. My friend is doing a pig picking for her wedding dinner and that sounds great to me, it doesn’t need to be anything fancy – sandwiches, appetizers, and cake sound nice.

Post # 11
Member
63 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

we are having an in suite reception in july and not having a sit down dinner. we are having finger type foods catered to our room for a very resonable price. i do agree with PP that people might expect at least appetizers but it is out of line for your Maid/Matron of Honor to be barking orders at you. you do what you want!! ive seen a lot of ppl on forums who are getting married in vegas do cake and toast type reception. im sorry youre having such troubles! good luck!

 

Post # 13
Hostess
2634 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@dcruz72:  thats awesome….i say invite those ppl to your wedding 😉 lol. i think your wedding sounds great and fun… i would def go

Post # 15
Member
63 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@dcruz72:  i think a short reception sounds great! we are going out with our friends later in the evening (providing everyone is slightly sober still lol). if we could have it our way we would be doing the same thing but we are all traveling so far and we live far from our families so its kind of become a reunion of sorts mehhhh…

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