(Closed) Are directions and accommodations necessary in invites?

posted 7 years ago in Paper
  • poll: Are directions and accommodations necessary?

    Yes to both

    Directions are

    Accommodations are

    No to both

  • Post # 16
    Member
    6263 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    View original reply
    rosecut:  no, many other people seem to like it. In my area and social group it’s a big no-no.

    Post # 17
    Member
    30393 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    View original reply
    rosecut:  As I said, times are changing, but it is still not polite to tell your guests you expect gifts, and that is what you are doing when you include a registry.

    Would cash be so bad, if your guests choose not to make the effort to find out where you are registered?

    Post # 18
    Member
    257 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    View original reply
    rosecut:  I think it somewhat depends on the formality of the wedding.  For a more formal wedding, you might want to include the cards with directions and accomodations, as a polite conveince for your guests. It’s how it used to be done, again, for formal, traditional weddings. If yours is not either, absolutely forgo it!  But if you’re wavering back and forth, those are the things that would make me consider including it.

    Also I will echo PP sayings that including registry information with a wedding invite is considered crass.  As you say, people these days have the internet, and I would be put off to see that a couple wasn’t able to figure out this piece of ettiquite with the internet at their disposal.

    More so, now that I think about it, many people don’t do the accomodations and directions and reception cards these days to save money both on the invitations and the postage (because all that does add to the weight)… so if I received an invitation that left out that stuff–while I normally wouldn’t blink at that–I would be quite put off if ALL that which is helpful to the guests was left out, but a card for the REGISTRY was included.  Ugh.  Yeah that would just scream to me “We want your presents more than your presence.”

    Post # 20
    Member
    257 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    View original reply
    rosecut:  Honestly that’s more of a reason to just leave it out. 

    Look, people are going to give you WHATEVER they want.  If they are the kind of people who give money at weddings, they will.  If they like to give gifts and like to pick them out, it won’t matter what you have on the registry, they’ll just buy what they want.  If they like to give gifts and want to ensure they get something they want, they will want to buy off your registry.  So they will ask SOMEONE.  Your parents, his parents, or you directly!  “Word of mouth” doesn’t mean the guests have to know each other, it just means they will find out by asking.  Really, it’s a classier way to go about it than putting it in your invite.

    Why are you so against a website?  The Knot and WedddingWire make it SO each even if you’re not tech savvy and it’s a really nice way to have all the information, for free, politely available for your guests… directions, registry, contact, some photos if you want.  You can even make it password protected if that’s an issue. I don’t think everyone MUST have a website, but if you’re conflicted about the enclosures, it seems like an easy solution.  

    Post # 21
    Member
    8466 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I’d much rather have a map than a registry listing. Usually you can just google the person’s name + “registry” and it will come up anyway. If you do opt not to do the map, make sure you google your venue and make sure it’s correct. DH and I spent forever driving around looking for a venue once…so annoying.

    Post # 24
    Member
    342 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2013 - Garden

    Including gift information with the invite is supposed to be taboo but it’s becoming more common lately. I didn’t include it with my invites and people thought it was weird and inconvenient. If it’s the done thing in your circle I say just do it.

    I did have a wedding website with gift information, accommodation and directions, but I don’t think many people bothered with it. They all just asked me directly.

    I think if you are having your wedding in a location that is a bit out of the way or might be tricky to find, you should include directions etc, but if it’s easy enough to find I wouldn’t worry about it.

    Post # 26
    Member
    257 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    View original reply
    rosecut:  Well the truth is we’re both right.  Some people will be “Wow, rude” if you include it, as you can tell from the reactions here, and some, like you, will be like “Ugh, where are they registered. I have to figure this out? Ugh” if you don’t.

    So the bottom line is, which would you rather?

    Our families are all Italian and Jewish and tend to give money for weddings anyway.  All my registry gifts were for the shower.  Every. Single. Person at the wedding just brought a card and a chack or cash.  I don’t think this is the case for eveyone, but I do think it’s a trend for a high percent to give money for the wedding anyway.

    Post # 27
    Member
    5978 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

    View original reply
    rosecut:  it’s never been a “scavenger hunt” for me to find registry information. I’ve never even had to call and ask anyone. It’s as simple as googling the couples names- it’s worked every time for me. 

    That being said, I personally don’t care if the registry information is included with the invitation suite but I do know that many people still find it rude.

    Post # 28
    Member
    1298 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    Googling your name, his name, and registry should bring your registries up. I really wouldn’t include the info, ESPECIALLY if you are having a more formal wedding and your invites are on the formal side.

    I do reccommend booking a hotel block (they don’t have to use it) and including that informaiton with the invite instead. I’d replace the registry card with this informaiton.

    Post # 29
    Member
    329 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

    IMO if you are “well off” as you say, and include the registry information, regardless of formal or informal wedding, I would see it as gift grabby.

    It would be much more “polite” to do a “donation in honor of us” instead of a registry. Since you don’t need the money or stuff, why not support a fund that does. A card with the invitation that indicates that you are not registrered and would prefer gifts to come as a donation would be humbling. 

    Also, if you are going to be inviting any Out of Town guests who are in their 20s or 30s, please make a website. We went to an Out of Town wedding in May, and none of us brought the invitation. Without the website, we wonldn’t have remembered what time the wedding was or the address. A google search/browser history from going to that website ONE TIME saved us from missing the wedding. If you are tech savvy, it will take you 20 minutes. 

    Post # 30
    Member
    110 posts
    Blushing bee

    There are reasons to not have a wedding website (personal, safety, career, uniquely identifying names, theme, you just flat-out don’t want one, etc.)

    Lots of people handled wedding information just fine prior to the internet.  Just put reception, accomodation, and directions as part of your invitation suite.  Have family and friends spread registry information by word of mouth.

    The topic ‘Are directions and accommodations necessary in invites?’ is closed to new replies.

    Find Amazing Vendors