I think your doctor’s right. From this thread: http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/old-moms/page/2
Sorry for the “fake” name–I’m just going to be sharing a little personal medical history, and, well, I’d prefer to keep it more or less private.
I have three children. The first two–twins–were conceived via IVF. I was 28 and showing signs of menopause (high FSH–essentially, a death knell for pregnancy). I was extraordinarily lucky and the IVF worked, and I was lucky enough to have another child afterward (complete shock; looks like most issues can be traced back to a tumor I can control with medication).
Anyhow. I learned a TON while going through everything, and would like to, respectfully, share some of it, on the off chance it helps someone.
–Fertility goes into steady decline starting in your 20s. Once you hit 35, you’re considered of “advanced maternal age.” Medically, you’re an old mom, and are subjected to increased testing and, worse, increased risk (for defects, miscarriages, etc.).
–As you get older, your body releases more FSH, resulting in more multiple pregnancies. Women’s bodies are, in general, not built for more than one baby at a time. Multiple pregnancies are scary and risky.
–The media does women a great disservice by talking about loads of celebrities in their late 30s and 40s having babies. However, most of these women are conceiving via IVF, often with donor eggs. There is a false sense that women can control their fertility–not sure if it’s a women’s lib issue or what, but declining fertility is very real.
–ART is an option for many women. I can tell you, though, I wouldn’t wish IVF on my worst enemy. Besides the gazillion injections and blood draws and painful tests, the emotional piece is a nightmare.
My point is that if you’re serious about having children, don’t wait. You’ll never be 100% ready; and the sense that we’re in control of our fertility and have all the time in the world is false and even dangerous.
We chose to start trying because a friend of mine was dying of breast cancer. My husband and I looked at each other and realized we were silly to wait when we’d never really be “ready.”
Best wishes to everyone!