(Closed) Are favors necessary

posted 10 years ago in Favors
  • poll: Would we be violating wedding code if we chose not to give out favors?
    Yes : (6 votes)
    10 %
    No : (54 votes)
    90 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1718 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2008 - Winery in the Gold Country

    I think they are absolutely unnecessary.  I’ve taken so much stuff home from weddings that just went right into the trash.  In this economy, and our need to really "Go Green", I think it’s understandable to not have favors.

    If you’re really feeling like you should do favors though, one great idea I always loved was taking a cookie recipe from both sides of your family (yours and your FIs) and baking them and putting them in glassine bags with a cute sticker.  Cookies shouldn’t cost you a ton to make and you could make a fun "week of the wedding" project for you and your families.  Everyone loves cookies, and cookies don’t go to waste!

    Post # 4
    Member
    1718 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2008 - Winery in the Gold Country

    Oh, yeah, you could even print the recipies to accompany them, and say who’s recipe it is (like Grandma Bette’s or Aunt Adele’s)

    Post # 5
    Member
    2695 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: February 2008

    SKIP IT!!  Favors take sooo much energy, because how are you really going to find something 300 people will like for under $3?  it will be largely a waste, unless its edible.   People don’t expect them anymore and only recent /sonn-to-be brides will probably even notice they aren’t there!

    Post # 6
    Member
    497 posts
    Helper bee

    The point of a favor isn’t to find something random just to check something off you wedding to-do list.

    The point is to give your guests a memento to remember the day by and to thank them for coming to your event.

    If you put some personal thought into it, than the favor can be irreplaceable.  If not, than yeah, it isn’t worth it.

    The choice of how you feel about your guests is up to you.

    Post # 7
    Member
    2695 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: February 2008

    I think that is a little harsh corn – people who don’t have favors aren’t saying anything about how they feel about their guests.  They are just deciding what things mean the most for the experience for everyone. I have gotten lots of very thoughtful favors – CDs with music the couple likes, a special teapot for brewing tea for a wedding in Argentina – and they have all ended up as garbage during a move at some point.  Not many people keep mementos for weddings of those other than their closest family and friends….. 

    For us, we wanted our guests to simply know how grateful we were that they took the time to be with us.  So we ended up with a candy buffet with personalized bags saying thanks – AND wrote a long welcome letter for our goody filled Out of Town bags.

    Post # 8
    Member
    2640 posts
    Sugar bee

    See I think you need a favor of some kind. And I do think guests sill expect it. (Although from what I read on boards different parts of the country /cultures have different traditions. Mine is that favors are expected.) You don’t have to spend a lot of money. The cookie idea was fun. On another thread, someone suggested donationg money to charity in honor of all the guests. That’s fun too. I think the key is to think of omething special, not necessarily pricey. I agree with corn here.

    I agree that a lot of favors go in the garbage. And yes, you probably can’t make everyone happy. But I think you have to try. I gave ornaments at my wedding, and I still have people coming up to me saying they still have them. So I know they think of our wedding every Christmas.

    Kara never indicated that the saved money would go towards a better experience for her guests ( ie. better music, fancy cookie table). She said it would go for photography, honeymoon, maybe rehearsal dinner -which would only benefit a few.

    When cutting corners, I never advocate skimping on the guests.

    Post # 9
    Member
    75 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: August 2008 - Vineyard on the Delta

    i’d do it only if there’s an idea you really want to incorporate.  i never understand the little pieces of junk that EVERYONE knows will end up as trash, even the couple themselves wouldn’t want one for keepsake.  don’t do it because you have to, only if you want to.

    Post # 10
    Member
    1156 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2005 - Westside Loft, New York

    I’m in the camp of thinking they’re one of the first things I’d cut if I were on a budget.  As a frequent wedding guest, I do appreciate them, but I certainly don’t miss them if they aren’t there.

    but favors are expected in certain cultures and geographic locations, so you might want to take your guest list into consideration before cutting them out? 

    You can also do something that’s very inexpensive.  If you package it in a cute way, something like 2 lindt truffles or ferrero rocher chocolates are a welcome treat that are under $1, and can look quite lovely! 

    Post # 11
    Member
    1718 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2008 - Winery in the Gold Country

    While I wont speak for Mrs. Corn, I can see where she is coming from.  If you’re simply doing favors just to have them, then why not just skip them? Throwing money in the trash just to order something… anything… just to say you had favors… perhaps that’s not really worth it at all.

    If they don’t come from your heart or aren’t something you are truly proud of giving, then why give anything at all?  But if it’s something that you really love, or really think your guests will appreciate, then it is always worth it to have them.

    Post # 12
    Member
    78 posts
    Worker bee

    I think acknowledging that your guests made the effort to come is important, but that doesn’t necessarily mean spending money.  You could just have a heartfelt note thanking your guests.  You could also do a small token of thanks, like cookies or m&ms.  At one wedding I went to their were business cards for the photographer and a note on the table that said to visit the photographers website for a free download of your favorite pic after the wedding.  I would just say not to get something that will be thrown away, but if you choose to get a favor get something that is edible or useful. 

    Post # 13
    Member
    10 posts
    Newbee

    i don’t usually take wedding favors home. instead of wedding favors, my fiance and i have chosen to donate what’s left of our budget to st. jude in honor of our guests. 

    Post # 14
    Member
    45 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: October 2018

    I agree with many of the other posts. Favors aren’t necessary. If you are having second thoughts, maybe use the $1200 to do something more for the attendees, like, getting the live music for the cocktail hour or splurging on better wine/food, etc. That way they can still benefit and the ‘gift’ won’t be forgotten two days later.

    Post # 15
    Member
    754 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2008

    I spent so much money on a fabulous dinner and an open bar.  I also sent heart-felt thank yous.  Favors are just over the top, in my opinion.  Not to mention, there isn’t a single favor that has been given to me at a wedding that I haven’t tossed. 

    Post # 16
    Member
    5822 posts
    Bee Keeper

    I would go with a donation to a charity of your choice in the amount you choose.  http://www.idofoundation.org allows you to choose your charity and even prints cards for each place setting for free!  You could donate $50 if you want and still get 300 place cards to let your guests know you made a donation in their name.  This maintains the ettiquette of favors, but keeps you within your budget when you have so many on the guest list. 

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