(Closed) Are friends overrated?

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: Has your relationship with your friends evolved since your engagement?
    Yes, we're closer than ever : (20 votes)
    16 %
    Yes, we're more distant : (43 votes)
    33 %
    No, it's been the same : (60 votes)
    47 %
    Other : (6 votes)
    5 %
  • Post # 3
    7152 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2010

    Actually I am kid of split. There are a few friends that I have gotten closer to since the enagagement and some that I have gotten more distant with. The ones that I am further apart from now are the ones that have been giving me problems and seem jealous.

    Post # 4
    18643 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2009

    I’m sorry you feel so alone.  I have grown apart from a lot of my friends since I moved away but I didn’t notice a difference specifically when I got engaged.  Do you think that some of these people might be jealous of you getting married?

    Post # 5
    7053 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    My friends (one being sis) are closer than ever!

    We’re really having fun with the whole wedding planning stuff!  I’m blessed to have such wonderful close friends.

    Post # 6
    3162 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    Mine are the same – the awesome ones are still awesome, the bitchy ones are still bitchy, and the flaky ones are still flaky.

    Post # 9
    3162 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    LOL I knew what I was getting into with the flakiest one but I couldn’t see my wedding party without her so I swallow a lot of her nonsense.

    Post # 10
    2476 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    Sorry you’re going through all that.  I wonder why they’re acting like that. 

    Post # 12
    5670 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2010

    Sorry you are having a difficult time. Hope you have some good friends who shine through this all or you meet some new friends. Do you go to the gym, have friends at work? Sometimes even just talking to friendly faces can make you feel better. I know I love going to the gym to talk to the girls and even if we don’t hang out after the gym it makes me feel good to get out and socialize.

    My relationship has gotten a lot better since we’ve gotten engaged. My friends have accepted my Fiance fully and the guys have even begun asking him to do things like join baseball leagues, go golfing etc. My friends really seem to understand how important he is to me and in turn my Fiance has become much closer with my friends which actually lets me see them a lot more.

    Post # 13
    326 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    My single friends no longer include me in anything.  If I try to arrange something, they are all mysteriously “busy” but have no problem getting together without telling me.  It happens so often nowadays that I barely notice anymore.  My very close friends live 2500 miles away, and they are all married, which is probably why our relationships are better than with my single friends here.  They just don’t understand the changing dynamic of friendships in the different stages of life.

    But I hear ya.  It does suck.  I don’t like feeling excluded or left out, and it is hard when it feels like you put out a lot of effort and receive none in return.  I keep waiting to meet some people in this town that are in the same stage of life that I am, so I don’t feel as alone.  But I guess, in the meantime, it’s a good thing I have such a fabulous fiance, cuz he is pretty good company! 🙂

    Post # 14
    88 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    I think I’ve actually become closer with my friends since becoming engaged but that’s partially because I had one friendship end over some wedding drama, and everyone else sort of banded together to support me.

    I’m sorry to hear you’ve had a tough time with your friends/family since you’ve become engaged. After my falling out with one of my “good” friends, I know how much it can suck.

    Post # 15
    2703 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    my Maid/Matron of Honor and i are closer than ever, so are my two out of state BM’s and i… ironically, the two in-state BM’s and i are more distant than before the engagement… not necessarily on purpose, but circumstantial, cuz after we got engaged… i moved in with Fiance to a town further away from said BM’s… (25 min or so)… before that i’d always lived alone adn they were able to come over whenever (even tho Fiance doesn’t mind, they don’t like coming without a formal invite)

    and also due to the fact that the two in-state BM’s are having drama between the two themselves…

    i think it’s definitely a life adjustment period; for better or worse – you end up coming out of it with your friends that do stick around through it all. and if they’re not there at the end of it, go out and make new friends to those that are willing to put in the effort instead of shun you as an outcast!

    Post # 16
    620 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    One single friend of mine has made some “bridezilla comments” when I was just talking about my wedding.

    My sister/MOH and another friend/BM get jealous and angry at me when I’m spending time with my Fiance and not them. 

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