(Closed) Are lots of kids bad news for the ceremony?

posted 9 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
Member
11 posts
Newbee

We thought about this and decided to add the following to our invitation:

 

Adult Reception Immediately Following

 

 

We don’t want any children attending…. this is an adult event.

 

Sara

Post # 4
Member
1514 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

We’re having lots of kids.  We’re hoping our family and friends are considerate enought to take a child out.  Yeah, they’ll miss, but they shouldn’t let their children mess up our ceremony (seriously I have five and if any of them start messing around I already have my brother on point to remove the trouble makers).  I’d just have ushers or someone point out to those people where they can go for a quiet place if they’re child needs it.

Post # 5
Member
908 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

We are having some kids there and their parents are in the bridal party.  I’m going to ask the kids grandparents if they will keep an eye on the them and remove them if necessary.  I have a good relationship with the grandparents so I feel comfortable asking them to remove problem children.

One of my FGs had a dance recital a few weeks ago and while walking out on stage, she tripped, fell down and REFUSED to get up.  All the other kids had to dance around her and at the end of the song my SIL (her mom) had to literally drag her off stage.  I’m a little worried about her but the worst case sceanario is that she throws a fit halfway down the aisle, her grandfather gets up and carries her away and everyone gets a good chuckle.  Then, when she’s engaged in 20 years, we show her the video!

Post # 6
Member
390 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

We had several kids, and I had the same concern.  I had plans of making it known to the necessary people that there was a close room prepared for the “active” children, but I’m not sure word got around. (I personally forgot to tell the guest book attendant, and I’m not sure if anyone else told her.  She was to pass it on as the guests with children signed in.)  Despite my lack of communication, I heard nothing from any of our young guests.  I think we were lucky, as I have been to events where little ones don’t always cooperate.  If you want to invite kids, I would simply have someone (ushers, guest book attendant, etc.) make it known to the necessary people.  Hopefully, they will be considerate of you and the other guests and leave if appropriate.  You may also want to consider hiring someone to baby-sit during the ceremony, so the parents don’t have to miss out.  Good luck!

Post # 7
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

I’m absolutely afraid of exactly what you just described. To make things worse, my Fiance and I decided to have three toddlers be our ring bearers and flower girl. I spoke to their parents and told them that they don’t HAVE to walk down the aisle, we’ll get pictures either way and can make a decision the minute of. I’m getting less and less worried about it the more I talk to their parents, and I also have the attitude that I can’t control everything so why stress so badly about it? But I am considering getting a DOC just to deal with things like that – be the bad guy for me and politely escort them 10 miles away from us 🙂

Post # 9
Member
7082 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2009

We hired a babysitter.  Then I created a box of toys, dress up clothes, crafts and other fun stuff for the kids.  Even kids who were old enough to be hanging out with the adults all ended up with the babysitter and the “Box O’ Fun”.

My sisters both swore their kids wouldn’t make use of the service.  But, when we were breaking down everything the day after, both girls begged me to take home the craft box.  They hung out there most of the night 😉

Post # 10
Member
4485 posts
Honey bee

I’ve attended several weddings with kids in attendance and have never even noticed that the kids were there during the ceremony. From what everyone says, you will be so wrapped up in the moment that you won’t even be aware of your adult guests, much less kids. I wouldn’t worry about it. We’re inviting kids and while we are aware that kids are free spirits, it’s not an issue if they make noise. We both view weddings as family events and our families would disown us if we didn’t allow them, and that includes during the entire event. The parents who are invited know how to parent their children and remove them when they are being out of line.

Post # 11
Member
1944 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I know this may sound weird, so bear with me! Has anyone done this or thought of having someone watch the kids in an area so that the adults can enjoy the ceremony? For example if you are getting married in a church, we have the nursery with toys etc that the babies and kids go to during church services. Maybe there is a friend or freind of the family that will be generous enough to help out with this?

We have a lot of neices and nephews, luckily none under the age of 2 and it worked out ok for us. However, they are pretty well behaved kids and our ceremony was super fast and they participated so they did not have time to be bored! However, kids can be unpredictable!

Post # 12
Member
200 posts
Helper bee

Ugh. I went to a wedding last year where two kids were running around all over the place during the ceremony. They were playing in the curtains behind the altar and making a ton of noise–DURING THE VOWS. I missed half the ceremony because they were so noisy. Some parents are completely clueless and inconsiderate.

 

I have 3 18 month olds and 3 5 year olds coming to our wedding. I just have to hope that their parents will look after them properly and be respectful of our ceremony…

Post # 13
Member
25 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I think a babysitter is a great idea and the box of crafts is very cute!  Unfortunately my Future Sister-In-Law got married in June and there was a toddler crying in the audience.  The family didn’t remove the kid, so the Maid/Matron of Honor and my Fiance spent the ceremony glaring at the audience..and the child started to cry right when the vows started!  Thankfully the church we’re using has a cry room and we’re having the guest book attendants & ushers tell all families with kids about it.  It was that or my Fiance was banning all kids from the ceremony! 🙂

Post # 14
Member
2819 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

So worried about this, especially since some of the youngest kids will be my fiance’s aunt’s…and I KNOW that she wouldn’t leave to shush them. Or tell them to stop playing with X during the ceremony/reception. Or…well, let’s just say that she is not too good with discipline.

Post # 15
Member
2819 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

However, whether or not it’ll happen at your ceremony depends. Are the parents the type who would whisk the kid away if it started bawling, or would they sit there and try to ignore it? Are the kids the type who behave themselves, or do they push the rules to the limit? Would you feel comfortable appointing someone (or several someones, maybe babysitters) to take care of noisy/misbehaving children, or no? If after you consider all these things you decide it’s too much of a risk, then I might consider not inviting children.

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