(Closed) Do you think 50% of marriages end in divorce?

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: What do you think about the oft-quoted statistic that 50% of all marriages end in divorce?
    I think it's reasonably accurate : (98 votes)
    65 %
    I think it's not very accurate : (34 votes)
    23 %
    I think there's no way to know enough to come up with such a statistic : (18 votes)
    12 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    2063 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    @goodasitgets:  “What seems most clear is that less-educated, lower-income couples split up more often than college grads and may be doing so in higher numbers than before.” Hmmm.

    I think the article is basically claiming that the only way to know whether marriages last or not depends on what you define as “last.” It seems like they’ve used 20 years for their figure and have arrived at some better results. Honestly, I define “last” or “successful marriage” in the same way, so I suppose I agree. 

    Post # 4
    Member
    1798 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    @goodasitgets:  There are a lot of flaws with the divorce statistics, but I don’t really know what the true divorce rate is, based on my experience and observation, 50% seems reasonable

    Post # 5
    Member
    1844 posts
    Buzzing bee

    as any good grad student knows, there are always ways to bend the numbers in your favor. Not that I would ever do it, but companies do it all the time….

    Just saying.

    I personally think that saddly 50% is fairly close to true. Among my friends and family I think it might even be more than that, but who knows. I haven’t calculated out those statistics lately.

    Post # 6
    Member
    1962 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    Based on the people around me in general (extended family, parents of friends, and such) that statistic is about accurate. I consider lasting marriage one that lasts a lifetime, not just 20 years. There are plenty of couples that still get divorced past that mark so it’s difficult to really figure the statistics out. Either way, I don’t really worry about what the statistics say when it comes to my own future. Fiance and I agreed that the only circumstances under which we would divorce are abuse of any kind. We know we won’t do that to each other and we plan on working through any other problems we have. By no means will it be easy, but I think it’s worth it to spend a lifetime with him. I think having my grandparents, who have been married 51 years, as an example and for advice helps a lot though.

    Post # 7
    Member
    1844 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

      It was interesting to read more into the statistics. Fiance will be 26 and I will be 28 when we get married, we will both have our Bachelor’s and Master’s degrees. For me personally, I always thought I would get married right out of college. Now, with some hindsight, I realize that I would have had no business getting married until I was about 25-26 years old. At that point in my life, my undergrad degree was finished, I was starting on my Master’s, and I had been in my career for 2-3 years at that point. I was just starting to feel like I could contribute to a household.

      Now, maybe someone younger than me has had different life experiences, and they may have been prepared at a younger age. If so, then I tip my hat to you, because it’s hard to get that stuff under control! I’m thinking about four couples that got married right out of college (they fell in the age range of 21-23). Their wedding occurred anywhere from 2002 – 2004. 8-10 years later, two of those couples are divorced. I personally think it’s a good idea to wait until you’re at least 25 to get married, but if you are ready to handle it when you’re younger, you have all your ducks in a row, then go for it :-).

    Post # 8
    Member
    183 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    Sadly, I think this figure is probably reasonably accurate. However, I don’t know that it always has to do with any special indicators. Some people just grow apart, and it’s not always easy to identify who those people will be. Sometimes the catalyst for a person changing a great deal can be something no one would have ever forseen, like a devasting event. 

    Post # 9
    Member
    927 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    Sounds about right, sadly.

    Post # 10
    Member
    1962 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    @keepsmiling19:  I have to agree with everything you said about life experiences. Fiance and I will be 23 when we are married, but we’ve had a lot of experiences that have made us pretty different from other people our age. I know of a lot of other bees who have had similar types of differences from the norm in their age gap. Statistics can account for quite a few experiences (like college), but it can’t account for all of them. Even my sister and I are vastly different and we’ve had fairly similar experiences. Sometimes it can take something small to make all the difference. Life is just crazy sometimes that way!

    Post # 11
    Member
    10366 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2010

    Just because 50% of ALL marriages end in divorce doesn’t mean that YOU are likely to have a marriage end in divorce. In my socio-economic group (older to marry, childless at marriage, advanced graduate degrees, significant financial holdings prior to marriage, no previous marriage) less than 10% of marriages end in divorce.

    I’m a scientist, and it irritates me to no end that reporters that bash around those stats never break them down for people into something that is actually applicable.

    Post # 12
    Member
    1844 posts
    Buzzing bee

    @FloretteLiz:  I agree with life experiences too. I am 23, but I have been completely living on my own since I was 17, Ive been finished with my BA for 3 years and have a successful career, I am starting my own business, and  own my home. As far as life experiences go I dont know if I am on track with where a 23 year old ‘should be’. I can fully contribute my 50% to our house hold and I still feel I am a little too young to be married but at this point it doesn’t really matter becuase we are very clearly married. I don’t know if most 23 year olds would be able to handle major life events unless they have already gone through them.

    Post # 13
    Member
    1512 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    Well, I always use my mom’s family for questions like this. Counting my grandparents and their eight kids, makes ten [duh], so it’s easy to figure out statistics. Follow me for a second. Out of all of them, only one uncle has never been married, but one uncle has been divorced twice, so we’ll count him as the unmarried uncle.

    Not divorced: Grandparents, Uncle J, Parents, Uncle C [5 people].

    Divorced: Uncle K, Aunt K, Aunt C, and Uncle A [divorced twice, counting for unmarried uncle] [5 people].

    So there you have it, 50%. That’s just my little statistic based on my family, but it seems pretty accurate to me.

    Having said all that, I don’t think it’s like this for everyone. I know several of my family members got married for the wrong reasons, and all that have been divorced, are remarried to wonderful people. I think there are a lot of factors that go into play into getting a divorce, but I think if you get married for all the righ reasons, you should be able to make it work.

    Post # 14
    Member
    1962 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    @globalmargaret:  Perfect example! Well with us we are not exactly where we want to be financially or career wise yet, but we’ve gone through so many life shattering things in the last year that I know we can make it through our marriage as long as we stay committed. We’ve had a lot of hardship, deaths, and some very adult decisions to make on top of having lived on our own for a few years. I think having to basically act as a second mother to my sister for most of my life has had a huge affect too. I had to mature much earlier than many people my age and can’t really relate to most of them. Combinations of experiences (good and bad) can change so much in people’s lives. 

    On another note aside from my rambling I’m really happy to see so many bees that have this much optimism. I think going into a wedding with the right attitude makes a world of difference too. People over analyze these statistics sometimes.

    Post # 15
    Member
    3175 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    Yes, I think that 50% of marriages end in divorce. It’s not a correlational study, it’s just data, I don’t see how anyone can argue that.

    No one said it means 50% of people in all socioeconomic statuses end in divorce. Of course variation is possible. If we want to break it down by group, statistics will be different. But the stastic isn’t saying “50% of all educated people have marriages that end in divorce”, which is what this article seems to be arguing. 

    But, yeah, people do make up data all the time. Like the “number of insured people in America” (which was admittedly made up on the spot). This isn’t one of those times, though.

    ETA: at the same time, I don’t like this vague stastic to be used to insinuate that I will “probably” end up divorced. There are so many factors that the statistic doesn’t assess. However, that doesn’t mean the statistic isn’t true, it just means that it’s broad.

    Post # 16
    Member
    466 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    I think its kinds of accurate, but my brain refuses to accept it. Then again I have known 4… yes 4 couples to start dating, get engaged, get married and get divorced in the time that Fiance and I have been together (almost 7 years). Its a bit sad really.

    I am not conservative or traditional, but I believe marriage is to be entered into with great respect and great responsibilty. Its something that shoud never be entered into lightly and should never be broken lightly. A huge reason for us taking so long to get married is that Fiance and I both very strongly believe it should be for life (unless there is abuse, then you should GTFO!) and it has taken this long to feel confident in knowing we could do it.

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