Post # 16
Well, isn’t he being quite the charmer lately. He owes you an apology, big time. Ditto on what everyone else said about you needing to stand up for yourself. You’re not a doormat and your feelings and your needs matter just as much as theirs do.
Post # 17
- Wedding: July 2014 - Prague
It’s one thing to take advantage of someone who says YES all the time. But it’s another thing when you have tried to talk to him and his response is to be angry and make you feel guilty. Think about the long run, and whether you want to be treated this way.
You should be respected!! If your SO doesn’t understand that relationships are a two-way street, you are setting yourself up for a lifetime of being his doormat.
Post # 18
Ap2010: Why would it matter what plans she has? She’s being treated as a live-in nanny with absolutely no gratitude. Even if her plans were to go to get her nails done, she deserves it.
To the OP, your SO and his ex made this child—*they* are the ones responsible for her care, not you. You need to not make yourself so available for them. The mother has plans? Her plans should be taking care of her daughter. It sounds like the poor girl is an inconvenience to everyone but you.
Post # 19
Thanks everyone, you all were voicing exactly how I felt about the situation. Being a “stepmom” is tricky, how do I say that I want more free time and appreciation without sounding like I don’t want to care for his daughter, who I treat and think of as my own? We ended up talking about it after a few hours of arguing and getting really upset at each other. He was not understanding where I was coming from, thinking that I don’t want to care for her which hurt his feelings. I told him that was not the case and I just wanted to feel like I’m considered too. Eventually he apologized and told me that he was sorry that he’s stopped asking and knows he needs to consider what I have planned before expecting me to drop everything at the last minute. He is going to work out a schedule with his ex. I know I’m partly to blame for always saying yes and hiding how I feel about it. I know he’s gotten used to me not minding to go pick her up, but now that I put my foot down and told him my feelings were hurt we have gotten past this argument. <br /><br />We always believe in working together as a team. From now on, we have agreed that if he asks me to get her, and I can’t then I am not obligated to and he will figure out other arrangements if I have already had something planned. Thanks for all your advice and support, it helps to rant and vent and talk to other ladies about these sort of things!! xx