(Closed) Are my feelings justified?

posted 7 years ago in The Lounge
  • poll: Is she being ridiculous or am I for feeling the way I do?
    Yes, she should have skipped all the extras and just had people celebrate her big day. : (24 votes)
    80 %
    No, She's still a bride and get the same bridal privilages regardless of time frame. : (6 votes)
    20 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    4824 posts
    Honey bee

    If you cant afford to do something, don’t. If she asks you, just tell her you can’t afford it this time around, but are happy to help her with projects.

    Post # 5
    Member
    4518 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    I agree with you. It sounds like she’s really going over the top. I agree with lefeymw ‘s advice. I think it’s totally fair to graciously bow out of the expensive activities. I’d do the same.

    Post # 6
    Member
    4162 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I get where you’re coming from.  I’d be a little ticked at the 2nd round of extravagence.  Even if you can afford it, I’d probably say you’re not able to attend, but you’re still happy to help out.

    Post # 7
    Member
    4755 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I’d simply say No, I can’t afford to I’m sorry. Easy.

    Post # 8
    Member
    3798 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    Whether or not you can afford to help her this time around, I think you are justified in feeling as though it is morally wrong for her to expect people to spend an exorbant amount on her wedding again, less than 5 years after her first blowout party.

    If she asks you, you could always just say that you are honored, but respectfully decline. Noone can argue with that.

    Post # 9
    Member
    4755 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    Essentially lie, and have a reason or commit and don’t complain (because you do know what to expect… again).

    Post # 10
    Member
    4518 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    @nickels: I see. It’s more that you’re kind of soured on the whole experience, because you feel like she’s being self-centered and materialistic? I know how you feel. If you really think that’s going to affect your ability to be a cheerful bridesmaid, then I’d step down. Better, though, would be to try to set aside your judgment and just try to enjoy the bachelorette weekend and everything else that’s part of the experience. I think in the long run you’ll be glad you did, and oyur friend will appreciate it.

    NOT saying I don’t feel you — because I really do! I’d have to work hard to set aside my judgment, believe me.

    Post # 13
    Member
    3261 posts
    Sugar bee

    Don’t tell her how to plan anything, not her wedding, not her shower, not her registry. Its ulitimately her desicion, no matter how many times she’s been married, or how much her last wedding cost. However, as an individual you have the right to not pay for something you do not want to pay for, and you have the right to spend as much as you want. If you feel like a $100 gift is sufficient enough, go for it. 

    Post # 15
    Member
    1269 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2011

    Heck yeah, I would say I couldn’t afford it and I’m really sorry. 

    The topic ‘Are my feelings justified?’ is closed to new replies.

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