(Closed) Are my FH and I the only “not so affectionate” couples?

posted 6 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 3
Member
9631 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

@SouthernGirl:  no that’s not weird, everyone has a different way of expressing their love 🙂

Post # 4
Member
4755 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

cuddling=affectionate.

Post # 6
Member
939 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@SouthernGirl:  I can relate.  I’m not a touchy person either.  Especially with people I am not close to.  

I remember in high school we had a psychology project where we had to go 24 hours without touching anyone, including pets.  Everyone was saying how hard it was.  Not me. Didn’t change my day at all haha. 

However, Fiance and I do like to cuddle, but we don’t hold hands often.  We cuddle occassionaly when watching tv, or in bed before going to sleep, but we aren’t as touchy as most couples I’m around.

Post # 7
Member
424 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

We’re not touchy feely either.  My Fi grew up in the middle east, it’s against the norm–and often against the law here.

I’m a bit more touchy feely than he is, but not much.  We save most of our affection for behind doors. 

Post # 8
Member
4065 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

We’re not especially lovey-dovey either.  Some of my exes were and it put me off!  He has become more “sweet” since we’ve gone long distance though, I think it’s because there are fewer ways to show affection.

Post # 9
Member
1098 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

I just had a very long and ridiculous conversation with my mother yesterday about how “weird” me and Fiance are because we aren’t overly affectionate and don’t call each other by any pet names. I kept trying to drive home the point that I think pet names are disgusting and I’d sooner cut my own tongue out than call Fiance by anything other than his name and that he feels the same way but she kept insisting that that was how you show you love each other and she actually told me that one day not having pet names was going to cause problems in our marriage! 

Post # 10
Member
2195 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

it’s funny; sometimes I get super jealous of those super lovey dovey couples you see around that are like…all over one another. Most of the time, though, I’m pretty grossed out by it. My husband and I are affectionate when it is appropriate. We might hold hands in public or he’ll put his arm around me…but we’re certainly not gazing into each other’s eyes and making out in restaurants. I agree with PP, how you demonstrate your love for one another is totally personal…as long as both parties agree.

Post # 11
Member
214 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I sometimes feel weird because my fiance and I aren’t hanging all over each other all the time when we are out with our friends like a lot of couples we know do.  At the end of the day, it’s just not us.  We are happy to hold hands or kiss or cuddle at home by ourselves, but it’s more for us and not to do it like “oh look at them and how in love they are”.  

His parents told him before he asked me to marry him that they didn’t see “the spark” between us which was really hurtful, but then again my fiance had never even seen his parents kiss until they copied my parents for a picture on a family vacation we all took together so they aren’t the most romantic or lovey dovey people so we’re not like that around them especially.  We thought we were being respectful of them and the way they are.  After hearing the no spark thing, I wanted to dry hump my fiance in front of everyone at the next family dinner just to prove a point Wink hahaha

Post # 12
Member
1064 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I don’t  like touching people either. I’m weirded out by my own PDA most of the time if we choose to kiss in public. We do not cuddle much either… I feel bad… Because I think he somewhat likes it and it doesn’t look very favorable on us. 

Post # 13
Member
6248 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 1900

I’m not into PDA either. It took Fiance a while to understand but now it’s not even an issue for us.

Post # 14
Member
1544 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I am more affectionate then he is. He likes his space.

Sometimes we’ll go an entire day without a kiss. I don’t like that. But by kiss i mean more like a peck. We just don’t “suck face” anymore. That was in our begining sparks are flying phase.

Now our version of showing each other we love each other is as simple as a… “i’ll do the dishes for you tonight”. Now thats love. lol

 

Post # 15
Member
841 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

how long have you guys been together, the ones who don’t ‘suck face’ anymore? at all??? O__O

I don’t think you’re weird. I know another couple who acts more like friends than lovers in public, but they’ve been together since highschool and are totally happy with each other.

however, that’s not us; I can’t go very long without touching my Fiance in some way! we don’t make-out in public or anything, but we always hold hands and sometimes prolong a gaze if we accidentally make eye contact. also we might be prone to giggling if we stare at each other too long. >__>

Post # 16
Hostess
16213 posts
Honey Beekeeper

Whatever works for you guys is fine. 🙂

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