(Closed) Are my friend and boyfriend being inappropriate?

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2555 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I don’t think that is inappropiate. Just because she has body insecurities doesn’t mean she was making a pass at him or anything like that. If the “heart to heart” was about something else, you probbly wouldn’t have felt uncomfortable.

 

I really don’t think your relationship is being jeopardized, and I really don’t think you need to break this friendship to save your relationship. Maybe think about why you feel the need to “compete” with her.

And good luck 🙂

Post # 4
Member
942 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

“heart to heart” with him about her body insecurities.

that’s just odd. You’ve answered your own question by posting this: your gut told you it was off and strange. I would act on that feeling.

@embarrassed99:  

Post # 5
Member
4313 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I’d have to know the context of the conversation.  But the fact that he told you about it doesn’t really raise any flags.

Post # 7
Member
9570 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

I don’t think your boyfriend did anything wrong.  It sounds like these are your insecurity issues causing this.  It’s hard to tell without knowing the exact conversation, but I don’t necessarily see any real problems here.

Post # 9
Member
2555 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@embarrassed99:  It’s not going to! Your man seems reassuring and it sounds like he loves you. He chooses you to be with him, not her. You can have you cake and eat it too (meaning, you can have a boyfriend AND pretty friends).

Post # 10
Member
9082 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

@bebero:  “Maybe think about why you feel the need to “compete” with her.”


+200, this was my first thought.

Truthfully, it sounds like he’s being a nice guy. He’s treating her nicely and politely and if you noticed him treating her any differently (A heart to heart is not “differently”) than your other friends, maybe.

I think you’re making a mountain out of a mole hill. I’d figure out why you feel threatened by her and why you feel you need to compete against her and work on that. Maybe talk to somebody about your anxiety? He was pretty clear in that nothing was going on and unless he has given you a reason to not trust him, I’d trust him explicitly.

Post # 11
Member
3572 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I think the topic was inappropriate.  I also think your Boyfriend or Best Friend is too dismissive of you.  Even if nobody is up to anything they shouldn’t be, for him to tell you to “get over it” is quite insensitive.

Post # 14
Member
4313 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@embarrassed99:  Okay no, this does not seem inappropriate at all.

Post # 15
Member
279 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Have more trust in yourself and others. You’re better than you’re giving yourself credit for.

Post # 16
Member
1008 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

I think it is your own insecurities…

You mentioned that you have never been friends with pretty girls because you assume they are mean….. that might mean that you are going to be overly critical of this girl.

I won’t sit her and say I am drop dead gorgeous (and for the fist 20 years of my life, I was pudgy, toothy and frizzy) but I am VERY shy and it always gets mistaken for bitchy. And I am the worst flirt IN THE WORLD… and I have heard through the grapevine that one of my semi friends is worried around her SO.

Unless they hang out alone (then be worried) or he is talking to her about your relationship, then I would just enjoy her company.

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