- 1 week ago
- Wedding: June 2016
My sister and a friend of mine are very much in the camp of “the lack of sleep sucks but life isnt that hard with a newborn!” while a few of my other friends are very much in the “OMG newborn phase was bruuuuuutal” camp.
Here are the differences I noticed:
#1 (and most important) – how laid back baby is
High needs babies = stressed out and emotionally fried mothers. Doesn’t matter what’s going on with the rest of the below list
#2 – supportive and active spouse/support network
Spouse who not only picks up any and all slack in running the house but is also active in parenting and prioritizes mama’s rest/mental health. Often times this also translates into spouses that have multiple weeks of parental leave.
#3 – Laid back parents
The parents who have every gadget/piece of gear, are constantly monitoring baby, are intervening at every little noise, take crying personally/emotionally, expect baby to be relatively consistent day to day, etc seem to be the parents that also hate the newborn stage much more
My sister and friend are very laid back parents. They also bring an energy of calm and relaxation whenever they seem to be handling baby — even though one of them is definitely NOT a calm/relaxed person about most things in life lol. They don’t get caught up in comparing their baby to others or really have any expectations about baby’s routine/schedule. If baby sleeps 6 hours one night – great! If baby sleeps max 2 hours the next night – shitty, but c’est la vie and hopefully it’s a one-off.
I’m 32 weeks and honestly trying to already put myself in that relaxed mindset of not putting too much pressure on myself as a mom and just being able to roll with the punches because I think that makes a world of difference in how much you enjoy the newborn phase (and parenting in general!)