(Closed) Are my parents trying to take the credit for my wedding?

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
2158 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I’d suggest you talk it with your mom. It’s not right if you feel this way about it, and as it’s your wedding I think you have some say here. 

Perhaps you should re-write it a way that you think sounds best and run it by your mom? I can see why she’d want to take credit for the hotel part as that is the part they are paying for. 

Post # 4
Member
1798 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

It may not be intentional, but what you described sounds like your parents are hosting. Are handling Out of Town bags or is she? If you are, thank her for her input, but tell her you’ve got it covered. If she’s handling them, then send her a draft of a letter from you and Fiance. As a compromise, mention that the hospitality suite and brunch are posted by your parents.

Post # 5
Member
1750 posts
Buzzing bee

@GreenEyedMoon: No, don’t upset your mom and cause a fight. Tell her that you and the Fiance found the most adorable welcome cards and you two will be personally writing the welocme cards. It looks great mom, but we have it covered. Thanks!

Post # 7
Member
107 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

She probably wrote it that way because they are hosting the brunch, not the wedding. I agree with Soladylike that you should talk to her about how you feel and say firmly that you are writing the welcome cards. Mention that you’ll be happy to put in a note about “the bride’s parents will be hosting a brunch” or something better worded than that, lol.

Post # 9
Member
1798 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@GreenEyedMoon: In that case, can the letter be signed by all 4 of you (you, Fiance, and your parents) and specifically refer to the brunch and suite hosted by your parents?

Post # 10
Member
1750 posts
Buzzing bee

@GreenEyedMoon: Its YOUR wedding. Can you not say “mom I talked to my Fiance and we agreed we like the idea of a personal handwritten little welcome note to our guest. Thanks, but I think we are going to do it together. However, I will mention the brunch and the hospitality suite on our wedding itinerary.”

Post # 11
Member
2247 posts
Buzzing bee

I would talk to her and let her know that you don’t want it to seem like they paid for the entire wedding when they didn’t.  That is really not cool, at all, after you guys have worked hard to pay for everything on your own. 

My Future Mother-In-Law is going around making it seem like she’s paying for our wedding, when she’s not paying a cent (not even Out of Town bags or hospitality suites… nothing), and it’s driving me crazy.  When someone asks me about the wedding (usually someone in FI’s family), Future Mother-In-Law butts in and answers all the questions with “we” answers.  Like, someone asked, “Where are you having the reception?” and Future Mother-In-Law jumped in with, “We’re having it at _______.”  Everybody thinks Future Mother-In-Law and Future Father-In-Law must be paying for our wedding because they’re very well-off, but they are not and I don’t want them taking credit for this wedding that I’ve 100% planned and financed by myself (with only FI’s help).

Post # 12
Member
1271 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I would change the letter to be for your signature and send it back to her.

Post # 13
Member
187 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Simple fix would be to just simply add your names and change some wording so it sounds like it is from all of you as a family.

Post # 14
Member
1335 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013 - Kempinski San Lawrenz, Gozo

I would fix it, then send it back. Since she sent you the draft, I’m assuming she wants to OK it with you first (and rightly so!)

 

And if she doesn’t want to change the signature, Just opt out of the Out of Town bags. It’s not her wedding.

Post # 15
Member
3626 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Just be honest. Say you and your Fiance worked hard to save your money for the wedding and you are proud to host it yourselves. Also, mention that you feel that some of the guests will feel left out with the phrasing. How can she argue with the fact that you’re paying for the wedding? Her chance to host the wedding has come and gone.

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