(Closed) Are my wedding vows too long?

posted 5 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 4
Member
381 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Here’s what I think, they are your vows and yours alone. You are the only one that can decide what you want to say. But I will say this, my husband and I decided to do our own vows. He however hates public speaking. So, I had him write three promises he wanted me to promise and vice versa. our priest was amazing too, he had us hold hands and face each other and repeat after hiM, each promise broken up into two parts so we would be able to repeat them better. It flowed and people loved it. I did write long vows to him earlier in the Engagment, I’m giving him those seperatly after our honey moon 

Post # 5
Member
7311 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

Question- Can you actually stand in front of a group of people, read all of that, and hold it together? If it were me, I’d be a blubbering mess by the second paragraph. But I’m a sap like that.

Post # 6
Member
11752 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

in my opinion, yes they are way too long. But, it’s your vows and your wedding so do whatever you feel most comfortable with.  I would cut out the first two paragraphs and just start in on the actual vows. 

Post # 9
Member
11752 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Adams_bee:  they’re sweet words but I think sometimes people tend to get caught up when writing their own vows in things that aren’t actually vows.  The things you put in y our first two paragraphs (in my opinion) are more conducive to a card you might write for your groom on the wedding day.  My Fiance and I exchanged cards (with gifts) and had that type of messaging in them.  We’d never be comfortable sharing such intimate feelings publically, but that is just us.  Do what’s right for you! πŸ™‚

Post # 10
Member
7311 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

@Adams_bee:  Just be aware that in that moment your emotions may get the best of you. If you are okay with that, and can be okay with having to cut things short because you simply can;’t get the words out, then there is no harm in trying. but if you hold yourself to a high standard and would be upset with yourself if you could not make it through everything, then you should probably go for something shorter and more manageable.

Post # 11
Member
337 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Adams_bee:  

your wedding vows are not to long,you only get to this this once,why rush.tell him everything you feel.

i think your vows are sweet 

Post # 12
Member
405 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I watched my parents wedding video last year, and while my dads vows were heartfelt, they lasted forever and you could tell he was using his photographic memory to read the words inside his head (his eyes scrolled). My mother does not have a photographic memory, so he vows were shorter, and she struggled getting through them on memory alone (because they were still long and she shows much more emotion than him).

Unless you have a photographic memory and can keep a straight face though the emotion these words will make you feel, I would make them shorter, or have the person performing your ceremony provide some guidance.

If you do decided to go with long vows, don’t speak up after your SO finishes their vows and say “Oh, I forgot to add _____” if you forget soemthing. No one else will notice that you left it off, and it will just end up being silly and something that people will give you crap for (a family friend did this).

Post # 16
Member
248 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

They are a little on the long side, but I think the conversational tone of them will make them seem a lot shorter than some traditional vows. PLUS you won’t be repeating each line after your officiant. That makes a difference. I went to a wedding last summer where the bride and groom had written their vows together and they had the priest read them and they copied him line-for-line. What they wrote was about as long as yours and with the double reading it took FOREVER and I actually felt a little awkward listening to it. I think you’ll be fine. If you’re worried, I think you could shorten the first two paragraphs into one and that you could take a little out of each vow paragraph, but I really think you’re fine. πŸ™‚

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