(Closed) Are nursing infants usually invited? (to Adult Only destination wedding)

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 17
Member
1166 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

@JoCoJenn:  +1

Nope, it is “adults only,” either make arrangements or you’ll have to skip the wedding :-/.  If you were attending a corporate/work event that was “adults only” would you assume you could bring your infant?  I don’t know why people think weddings are special cases just beause they’re hosted by family members, they’re the same as any other event.  

Post # 18
Member
1837 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

i didn’t invite kids under 8ish to my wedding and we weren’t really willing to have young (or any) babies there.  i think if someone has a wedding that soon after I give birth, i’ll be ok with just declining b/c like you said, it seems like a lot of hassle to go and have to leave to feed the baby.  or, could you pump so your Darling Husband would have a bottle to give the baby during the wedding?

 

Post # 19
Member
9130 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

I would never dream of excluding nursing babies, because you are in effect excluding the mother who can’t leave the baby for more than an hour or two, if that.

But I’ve learned on WB that a lot of people do this!  

Post # 20
Member
2837 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

VivienMarcheline:  I think your appraoch usually makes sense, but what if invites were sent out (even to local wedding) before you announced your pregnancy….or you even though you’re close enough to be invited (extended family), for some odd reason the bride and groom were never in the know about the pregnancy.

I imagine that when invites are sent out, a lot of people don’t know what to if the baby was invited– but not named/not born yet.

 

My son was not on the actual invitation (at least I don’t think he was- it was 6 years ago)- for my couson’s wedding.  He was my first son, and I had no idea if other children were invited to the wedding.

While I used to be close to my cousin, she moved to CA (but she lives back here now, YAY!)– but I had no poblem asking her if my son could come.  I wasn’t even nursing (I couldn’t)– but he was 3 months old and I wasn’t ready to leave him with jusy anyone.  One whole side of the family was going to be at this wedding, and my other side of family was at another wedding that day!  That left no family to watch baby.  I guess what it comes down to is:  what’s more important?  My attendance, or no babies?  Usually, unless you have an awfully fussy baby- you wouldn’t even know they were there!! There was one newborn (5 weeks) at our wedding– honestly, besides the fact he was in a few pictures and I saw him, I would have never known he was there!

Post # 21
Hostess
3368 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I would ask them, but honestly are you going to want to be traveling? That’s really soon after birth and especially since you have the potential to go past your EDD, the baby may be even younger. I wouldn’t want to go, but it’s obviously up to you!

Post # 22
Member
733 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: City, State

Schatzie821:  My thought is to speak with your cousin, explain the situation and let your cousin know your decision based upon their wishes for their wedding.

Post # 23
Member
2474 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I would call her not to ask….. but just to tell her yourself you guys probably cant go (just so no one in the family starts any drama like “UGH the babies not invited so they’re probably put out”….)

Call her and say “hey cousin… I just wanted to let you know that Darling Husband and I wont be able to make it to the wedding. As you know baby is coming 6 weeks before and with the c-section it might be too much to handle and I dont think we’ll be able to leave the wee one at that time… we hope you guys have a fabulous time and wish you the best.

At that point she will say one of two things…. Thank you so much, its too bad you guys cant come, we’ll have tons of pictures for you…. or oh gosh I never thought of that…. if theres any way you can come with the baby Im sure it will be ok.

either way doing that will let her know your not bitter about it and family as well

 

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