Post # 1
As a bee that is ttc, I’ve been doing a lot of reading and research about baby making, fertility, etc. I’ve visited the messaging boards of several different sites, but l must say this is the best one. You guys are all so nice! Keep it up!
Anyway, I’ve noticed something a bit odd to me in my research. It seems to me that people seem to be overthinking the whole conceiving thing. Don’t get me wrong, I’m well aware that many people suffer from infirtility or just plain fertility issues, and that those problems cause a lot of stress and suffering to the individual and their partner. Those aren’t the people I’m talking about, they do what they need to do.
The people I’m talking about are the perfectly healthy couples, with no fertility problems. See, I was always taught the simple principle of “sex makes babies”. Plain and simple. Have unprotected sex enough, you’ll more than likely make a baby. I know there are times that you’re more fertile, times the guy’s swimmers are more active etc etc, but why would I need to keep track of those sorts of things straight off the bat?
I can understand if several months have passed and nothing has happened wanting to be careful with your timing, but immediately? All the charting, temperature taking, test running hastle sounds like a major buzzkill for me, and from what I’ve read it’s a buzzkill for a lot of partners too. I don’t think I would feel very sexy at times like that.
So, what do you think? Do you think that people who don’t have any (known) issues conceiving should jump right in and start charting and such, or do you think they should let it happen more naturally in the sense of just having some unprotected fun with your SO?
Post # 3
We didn’t start getting into charting and the such until after 5 years of NTNP and nothing was happening. I don’t blame the couples who start out right away, I could have saved myself years of just going with the flow and sexing and hoping. I didn’t want to get stressed about it, but at 29 and still no pregnancy, my stress level is through the roof and I wish I had started doing all of the recommended things (charting, temping, checking CM) long ago.
Post # 4
@GooteyBootey: “I know there are times that you’re more fertile, times the guy’s swimmers are more active etc etc, but why would I need to keep track of those sorts of things straight off the bat?”
because you aren’t fertile during your whole cycle.
“Sperm can live inside a woman’s body for 3-5 days. However, a released egg only lives for 4 to 12 hours. The highest pregnancy rates have been reported when the egg and sperm join together within 4 to 6 hours of ovulation.”
you don’t NEED to keep track of anything. some people want to make sure they have the best chance of getting pregnant ASAP and charting gives you the best chance of knowing exactly when you’re ovulating and should have sex. if it’s not for you, don’t do it.
Post # 5
@GooteyBootey: When you hit a certain age it does become urgent for some people. After two months of NTNP I was thinking F that, I want to get pregnant, or at least give myself the best chance. I know someone who married at 25 and started TTC right away. After a couple of years of this she went for testing. This took time but they eventually found the issue and she had anI operation. Shehadd her first baby at 30. The way I see it, she was lucky as time was on her side. If had had an issue, I don’t have time on my hands like a younger person does.
I say each to their own, depending on wants and needs.
Post # 6
Dh and I have no known fertility issues, but I also wasn’t prepared to play around for a year, go get help, be told I wasn’t actually ‘trying’ and then be run through a bunch of tests.
I was ready TTC before DH was, but I knew that it was not appropriate to push him into it. When he was ready, I had been ready for about five months, and I didn’t feel like wasting anymore time. I was ready to be KU. I started charting in my own way, and when nothing was happening when I wanted it to, I moved on to full-on charting. That was the cycle I got my BFP.
If you are able to maximize your chances for something that you really want why would you not go ahead and do it? Make every effort to assure that you get the desired results.
If people want to take the NTNP route, hey I’m not about to judge you.
I wanted and was ready to get pregnant, not wait and see.
Looking back and having the choice I would much rather properly chart and have the process take one cycle, rather than five. Again I knew I was ready and it was time to get it done.
I was past the ‘if it happens it happens’ stage.
Post # 7
my mom had it very easy getting pregnant with me and my siblings so I always assumed it would happen for me too on the first or second try. That didn’t happen. I have no reason to believe it won’t happen, and it’s probably also my personality that once I decided (well we decided) to start trying, I wanted to have the best chances and not waste time. i’m not charting but I do check my CM and use opks.
it’s like, once I was ready, I was READY then and there, so 4 months later I’m still not pg and it is getting to me.
Post # 8
I guess some people just don’t want to wait months. Some people want it to happen right away and if they know it will work by temping, charting and using OPKs….it’s a way to get the job done faster. We went the NTNP route for one month and when I got my BFN I decided that was enough of that.. My mom has had cancer for a number of years and a big thing on my mind was wanting her to be around to see grandchildren. I didn’t want to wait 7 or 8 months. We decided to start off slow, used OPKs and thats it. If it hadn’t of worked that month (which it did) we would have started temping the month after.
We just had our 12 week ultrasound and when I sent my mom a picture via text, her emotional reaction from “seeing her first grandchild” was all worth it to me.
Post # 9
I can’t vote on this because I don’t think it’s anyone’s business to say wether people are overthinking their own fertility. That being said, I think that with the amount of informational readily available on the internet, forums, etc, that we worry way too much and that we know too much. This goes for being pg as well. theres no reason I should know what HCG levels are if I’m not even having issues. It just freaks me out.
Post # 10
I didn’t vote, because I don’t think it’s necessary to chart to get pregnant quickly – but I sure do think it’s helpful! Maybe it’s my personality, maybe it’s my career/other interests (I’m a researcher), but for me more data is always a good thing. Why wouldn’t I want to know what’s going on with my body?
I think we’re all fed that message of “sex makes babies” – especially in American sex ed (or the lack thereof), we basically have it drilled into us that as soon as we have sex without protection, we can (and likely will) get pregnant. But that’s just not true! In reality, there are just a few days each month when a woman is fertile, and if you aren’t textbook/”average” (which many women are not), you can very easily go along for months or years just waiting for a pregnancy to happen thinking you’re having sex at the right times when you really aren’t. If I weren’t charting, I would go into TTC in January with that standard expectation that I’ll ovulate around the 14th day of my cycle, so I need to have sex during that week. I’d totally miss my fertile window, because after charting I’ve found out I ovulate late. I also wouldn’t have known that I have a short luteal phase, which I’m now taking steps to fix so that it won’t be a problem when we start TTC.
For me, more information is always better. And thinking is a good thing! Just going along with the flow, not thinking about it, not learning about my body – that may work for some women, but I have no desire to remain ignorant about my own fertility.
Post # 11
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
@GooteyBootey: Unless you are aware of a specific reason you may have trouble conceiving then you should start out TTC by just stopping birth control and having regular unprotected sex with your partner. I think too many people overthink it or think it’s a race/challenge to get pregnant immediately or consider yourself a failure. Don’t over think it. Have some fun. Enjoy not having to worry about birth control for one of the few times in your life. If nothing happens in 6 months then maybe it’s a good idea to start charting to see what’s going on and to have something to take with you to the doctor if you’re still not pregnant in another 6 months.
Good luck and have FUN!
Post # 12
I started charting months before the wedding to get the hang of it then used it for about six months to avoid pregnancy. When we started trying it was great to know what was going on with my body. For the first two months when I didn’t get a BFP I wasn’t shocked because we had only hit the fertile window once or twice, on the third month we meant business and got our BFP. There was no major pressure on me or DH and it was actually very sexy and intimate knowing that we were having sex in hopes of getting pregnant, we had a blast lol If someone doesn’t want to chart that’s perfectly fine, but there’s no reason someone shouldn’t educate themselves on their own bodies.
Post # 13
I personally just like to know how my body works. Charting helped me understand my body (I charted WAY before we TTC) and it was very empowering to know when I could and couldn’t get pregnant, what my body was doing when, what certain body signs meant.
I could have gotten pregnant without knowing ANYTHING, but what’s the fun in that? I still like looking back at my chart from the month I conceived my daughter. I can pinpoint the day I concieved her. I love that.
Post # 14
All I can say is that we temped and charted and got pregnant on the first try.
In a cruel twist on that, it doesn’t appear that our baby will survive due to an already detected severe birth defect. I hope we have the same luck when we try again, and we’ll do the same thing we did the first time.
Post # 15
@GooteyBootey: you and I are on the same page. If it’s been months & months with no pregnancy, yes maybe it’s time to be more active about it. If it simply has become your only goal & you must project manage the crap out of it?? Dude relax.
Post # 16
I’m just going to say that I’ve been charting to avoid… so it would be really difficult for me to just stop charting. Plus I know that I have wonky cycles (some longer than others, I ovulate all over the place) so I it would be possible for me to think I’m pregnant before I even ovulate (I’ve ovulated as late as cd35!)! So to each his own! I really like knowing what’s going on with my body and being able to pinpoint the exact day I should get my period without being on artificial hormones.