(Closed) Are people just over thinking it?

posted 6 years ago in TTC
  • poll: Do people overthink conception too soon?
    Yes, start out relaxed and go from there. : (90 votes)
    57 %
    No, charting right away is necessary to get pregnant ASAP! : (36 votes)
    23 %
    I don't have an opinion either way. : (31 votes)
    20 %
  • Post # 17
    3110 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2018

    @OldMrsMcDonald:  omg. I had no idea. That is so so heartbreaking 🙁 I am really so sorry. I know from reading various threads that you have had a tough pregnancy And now this. I am so sorry. 

    Post # 19
    2177 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 2012


    @GooteyBootey:  Thanks. It’s been a week that included the highest and lowest moments of our lives: finding out we’re having a girl, celebrating our first wedding anniversary, and then getting the news that her spine and brain are malformed. It’s been tough, I appreciate the thoughts.

    Post # 20
    2654 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    @Pink Asawa:  My mom didn’t have to try either. My sister, in her late 30’s, got pregnant first month. It took me 8 months! It’s the luck of the draw, I think. Hopefully youll get your BFP soon.

    Post # 22
    659 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2012


    I agree. I am charting to avoid getting pregnant and I also like knowing what is going on with my body. My husband and I plan on TTC in the next 1 1/2-2 years. Given that I will have been charting for quite a long time by then I will probably know when we should be having sex. I also like charting because I would know if I had something up before spending up to a year TTC with nothing happening (i.e. annovulator cycles, very short luteal phase). It never hurts to understand your body.

    Post # 24
    1408 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    @GooteyBootey:  We started all of the charting, testing, etc after we failed the first month. Age is a factor for me, as I am 30 years old. We have planned October as our ttc start month since before our wedding. I dont want to be 32 years old THEN find out we have fertility issues. For me, I’d rather start the serious stuff off the bat in case something is wrong, we can confront it sooner rather than later. I dont think there is a right or wrong way to begin ttc. It all depends on the couple & what they are comfortable with. For us, this plan works perfect because we are very excited about having a child. Sure, we plan & sure, we know what days we need to BD but we find it fun & exciting that we are possibly making a child in that moment. I say as long as both people in the relationship are comfortable with the methods they are using to ttc, then thats what they should do.

    Post # 25
    1723 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 1998

    I’m kind of shocked you haven’t had any knee jerk verbal bombs thrown your way, OP. This is usually a sensitive subject.

    I have no known fertility problems – but I started timing sex and using ovulation prediction tests from the get-go. I don’t temp, though.  In our case, it was partly because we didn’t have the most active sex life from the start (that has changed as time has gone on). Both of us are relatively young – I’m in my 20s, he’s in his 30s. 

    We’re now in our 7th cycle trying. It’s disheartening to be this far, because about six months is the average for *all* women to get pregnant…that’s not counting those who are timing things. So, in my case, I can’t imagine how much longer it would take if we hadn’t been doing that from the start. 

    I still have fun with my sex life. Sometimes, sure, it’s routine – but it could be that way even before we were trying for a baby. But keeping track of the cycles, using OPKs, etc., can also help you identify fertility problems much sooner. Women who have a few months of no positives, or several positives in a row, can identify a fertility problem much sooner. 

    Post # 26
    733 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    For me charting was a way for me to feel like I was doing something to get the process going while I was waiting for our time to TTC. We were very particular about when we wanted to get pregnant due as I didn’t want to be hugely pregnant at our wedding, but I wanted to have a march or april baby as I’m a teacher. I hated waiting and charting made it easier because I felt like I was working up to it. I started charting in January and wanted to get pregnant in July or August. I really got to know my cycle and my body and got pregnant in July on the first try. 

    Post # 27
    4435 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    @GooteyBootey:  everyone is so different! I think it’s such an exciting time when you decide you want a baby that you want it to happen ASAP! I don’t know if it helps or hinders the process charting right away, but a lot if bees have had success charting!

    Post # 28
    2247 posts
    Buzzing bee

    @GooteyBootey:  You’re right, a lot of people do overthink it. 

    I think many of the people who overthink it have spent so much time having sex and trying not to get pregnant that once they do decide to have children they think it takes way more effort and manipulation than it really does. Nature taking its course is like a foreign concept to them in a way. 

    Yes, charting and all of these other things they do can be good and have their uses, but some of them get so stressed out about it when they really don’t need to. The stress of all of that can actually work against them if they aren’t careful.

    Post # 29
    9950 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    Interesting topic.

    I read a good number of TTC Posts (altho I don’t reply to many)

    This one caught my eye…

    I think SOME PEOPLE are indeed over thinking it all

    Altho as others said, it might be just a force of habit (more reproductive aware from trying NOT to get pregnant)

    AND I think that a lot of women assume now that this is just the way things are done… you want a baby then there is “work to be done”

    Have seen that more than once here on the Bee

    And I have to say altho I get that medicine has come a long way… when it becomes all about the “today is the day” thing vs a couple just being a couple and having sex as they choose.  Then that is sad

    Planning to have a baby / making a baby should be FUN first.

    Medicine second… certainly so if one is in their 20s.

    I think this almost obsession of “we must get pregnant now” for all ages comes from the fact that women are marrying later, having babies later.  So of course that means there will be a dip in fertility for BOTH partners versus their teens & 20s.

    That makes getting pregnant that much harder in one’s 30s and beyond

    Hence WHY a Board like this one is so popular… Ladies in that age group can exchange info, share experiences, what has worked etc.

    Where it goes off the rails is when I read about 20-somethings getting so intense in all this processing from the get go…

    Go off the pill on Friday… and a week later they are busy charting, counting, calculating… telling Hubby he has to perform tonight cause “today is the day” etc.  Like I said that can come off as intense / obsessive under those circumstances

    If you are between 20 and 30, and have regular periods, are overall healthy… and have no reproductive issues that you know of… and have unprotected sex regularly (a few times a month) even without “trying” or charting you should end up pregnant fairly quickly.

    If you are not… then ya, that is the time to ask more Questions.

    Not so much if you are 25 and have only been trying (charting or not) for a few months.

    Just my 2 cents


    Post # 31
    3571 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    @GooteyBootey:  I’m not going to say someone is over or underthinking it. I think people should do what works for them. Generally, however, I do think people overestimate the amount of time/energy it takes to chart. I know I did before I really started doing it. (I’ve been charting to avoid for nearly a year. I love it for a million reasons.) 

    I also have to say, that if a Charter Bee started a thread that was titled “People who don’t chart: Are they willfuly ignorant?” and essentially made that argument, it would not be taken well and probably flagged off. I don’t know why these threads continually pop up from non charters. After all, we’ve all agreed to not disparage one another’s choices when we signed on to WB. ; )


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