Post # 151
Member
30 posts
Newbee
I this this also depends on where you are and how the people invited to your wedding are acting. If 75% of the people invited are going on vactions, and to bars, and going to weekend gatherings at peoples homes, then I would personally proceed. I hope everyone that is saying it is selfish is only going to work, home, and grocery and NOT eating out, going to any type of events, going to clothing or home goods stores, or ANTYHING else that has opened back up….. otherwise I don’t think you really have room to talk.
Post # 152
Member
30 posts
Newbee
@minnerose: I hope you reserve some of that judement for eveyrone that attends the wedding as well! You can be upset with the bride and groom, but everyone that chooses to go know the risk. I hope you are equally judging everyone that is going on vacation, getting together with friends, going to restarants and eating in, doing unnecesary shopping, etc. And hope you arent doing any of those things. Where I am people are going to Flordia left and right, restarants are quite busy, etc.
And definilty save some of the judgement for this weekend! With it being 4th of July, lakes will be packed with boats all tied up together, beaches packed, and backyard cookouts galore! We have 5 wedding from Sept-Oct. Why would they cancel, when everyone aroudn us has gone back to “normal” life? Are friends and family invited to the wedding still living a quarantined lifestyle, or has it mostly gone back to normal?
Post # 153
Member
7879 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
@Bee614: That’s exactly what many of us are doing. My family has had take-out a few times (curbside delivery where they open your passenger door, drop the food and go), but aside from my son’s graduation (after which I self quarantined for two weeks), I’ve gone out for groceries every two or three weeks. Who needs clothing when no one else will see it?
Then again, I am probably an anomaly in a state that sued for the right to be stupid. But realistically, my mum means more to me than going out. We do live fairly rurally, so I am able to run or bike with no one else around, thankfully.
Post # 154
Member
1834 posts
Buzzing bee
@echomomm: Same. I work from home and only go into the office when necessary, distance, and wear a mask. I went for four months without seeing my parents at all and have only seen them since for brief periods during socially distanced, outdoor lunches.
So yeah….I think some of us are trying our very best to be responsible. I’m pregnant and not even going to our CrossFit gym (which is like family to us) even though state regulations allow it because to me, it’s just not worth the risk. People sweating on shared equipment and breathing heavily in close proximity seems like a bad idea.
Post # 155
Member
30 posts
Newbee
@echomomm: Anyone living like you are to me has every single right to judge others! you are following guidlines to a T and I can absolutely respect that!
Post # 156
Member
13914 posts
Honey Beekeeper
@Bee614: I’m not doing any of those things, either. We’re fortunate to be working from home. I order groceries to be delivered or for curbside pick up where I open and close my trunk remotely. We’ve done online orders for clothing or anything else we need. We’re not seeing older relatives or friends in person or going out to eat.
However, I do want to point out that not all of the things you mention are as risky as attending a wedding. The bar scene is, of course. Eating outdoors, socially distanced, with members of your own household probably isn’t. In a recent survey of epidemiologists, attending a traditional wedding was actually one of the things they felt least comfortable doing any time soon. The majority of them wouldn’t consider it for at least a year, the possible time frame of a widespread vaccine or cure.
Post # 157
Member
30 posts
Newbee
Again, anyone that is living like you all are has every right to judge what others are doing! I have seen lots of judgement from people for one thing, when they are doing toher things that are just as dangerous. Postponing is not longer an option where we are due to so much opening back up. I just think losing 20-30K on a cancelled wedding is much harder to do, when you can see (thanks social media) that the majority of your guests are already attending larger social gatherings and no longer doing much, if any social distancing.
Post # 158
Member
33 posts
Newbee
@Bee614:
I am absolutely “reserving some of my judgement” for the guests who attend, and not just the couple. The guests who attend are also making a dumb decision. But, there are varying degrees of responsibility in these situations, and, as hosts of the event, the couple ultimately have a distinct responsibility for encouraging their loved ones to engage in dangerous behavior.
Take my fiancé’s grandmother, for instance. She is not going to miss her grandson’s wedding. She is elderly, frail, and honestly doesn’t understand that going to this wedding could kill her. Yes, she is an adult and can make the decision by herself. But also there’s a significant element of pressure on her to go and she’s not quite “all there” due to her age, so she sees no reason why she shouldn’t go. So, it’s hard for me to “judge” her for attending her grandson’s wedding, but I sure as hell am judging her grandson for hosting it. My fiancé is terrified for her. It’s an incredibly shitty situation.
To your other point- it concerns me that you and others on this thread seem to think that those of us who are being cautious about weddings are being hypocritical because we must be doing other things that are unsafe. Why is that your argument to fall back on when you have no idea how we are living? To answer to your examples: No, I haven’t been on vacation. No, I haven’t been eating indoors at restaurants. No, I haven’t done “unnecessary shopping.” I have just started to see the same small group of friends in outdoor settings in the past few weeks and I only did that after we ALL got tested and received negative results. I wear a mask EVERYWHERE. I haven’t seen my own parents in SIX MONTHS due to this damn disease and I miss them. My fiancé and I will be celebrating the 4th with homemade margaritas on our apartment patio with no guests. I don’t live in Florida (thank God). Believe it or not, some of us live in places where people are genuinely trying to be safe and do the right thing. So please stop acting like because some of the country has decided to go be absolute morons that all bets are off and no one can criticize anyone else for wreckless behavior.
Finally, to echo a PP, not all actions involve the same level of risk. Epidemiologists have consistently reported that large gatherings like weddings are the riskiest type of behavior right now. So don’t look at someone take what you deem to be an “unnecessary shopping” trip or go hang out with a few friends at a park and then make the gigantic mental leap that “well, everyone is being unsafe now so that means we can just all go back to life as normal.” That mindset is just completely illogical.
Post # 159
Member
6 posts
Newbee
I completely agree with how you’re feeling. Yout kind of start to feel like you’re the crazy one because no one else seems to be taking things seriously. My wedding is in November of this year and I am already ready to cancel it. I live in California, which is definitely a hot spot for COVID and while things started reopening in June/July, the cases have increased substantially and I don’t see an end in sight.
I told my fiance that even if things are open, our venue will allow it, etc…do we really want to be the people that bring together 100 of our closest family and friends and put everyone at risk when there still is no vaccine available? I don’t think it’s appropriate to move forward until that happens.
So we haven’t officially cancelled yet, but we are planning to make that decision by the end of July and unless some miracle vaccine comes about, it’s leaning toward that. Our venue was willing to let us move all of our money paid to a new date, but ultimately, how can I postpone when I don’t know what the future holds??
We are opting for a small ceremony only with our immediate family and wedding party and we can throw a reception later on.