Are people seriously having normal weddings right now?

posted 5 months ago in Guests
Post # 61
Member
13650 posts
Honey Beekeeper

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@Anonymous1063:  What you describe is not universal. There’s no Park and Ride where I live and even if there were, the  only hypocrisy I see here is in saying that you don’t care about spreading a very contagious disease because there are also car accidents. Even following your logic, the virus deaths in a few short months time are over three times the deaths from automobiles in an entire year. 

Post # 62
Member
5464 posts
Bee Keeper

I’m high risk so it’s a no from me. I already know what it feels like to struggle to breathe and have seen a family member intubated (not from covid) and I’m good to stay away from things until theres a safe vaccine or the virus mutates to be less horrible. 

Post # 63
Member
94 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I wouldn’t go. Also you’re NTA here. A friend of mine recently went to a wedding *with* precautions but half the people ignored the precautions so I can only imagine what it’ll be like with 150 people. 

Post # 64
Member
371 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2020

I am due to attend a wedding in mid October and we will be going as long as they’re having it. Our wedding is October 31 and we plan to go ahead with it. We don’t expect the full guest list by any means, but everyone we speak to tells us they have no problem attending. I think it’s the hardest decision to make right now and some of the responsibility has to be given to the guests. It isn’t okay to say that OP shouldn’t be judged for postponing her wedding, but this family member is fair game. People will do what is right for them in all facets of these situations. I will be letting all of our guests know, please DO NOT attend if you are uncomfortable. I would want that afforded to me as a wedding guest and I genuinely mean it as a bride. I have taken all of the necessary precautions, wear a mask and gloves in public, social distance, etc. But, at this point, it feels too big to unravel my entire wedding and post pone. Whether it is just our immediate family or more than that, we want to get married as planned on our date at our venue. Maybe that’s how this bride feels, too. It’s hard to judge and I’ve definitely judged people on their decisions a lot during all of this COVID stuff, but really that’s unfair of me and others to do. The main thing is, we can keep ourselves safe by not putting ourselves into risky or uncomfortable situations and that’s really it. I would hope any couple would understand a declined invitation in the current world were living in. 

Post # 65
Member
153 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

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@amazonqueenie:  It really depends on where you live.  In my State these are the numbers from one of the largest Healthcare providers in the State.  The media in a lot of places has relly blown this out of proportion.  Not in all places, but a LOT.  The MOST inpatients they have had at one time was 26.  They have over 100 ICU beds.  At just one hospital.  

March 6-June 19, 2020

Current COVID-Positive Inpatients:  20

No. in ICU:  7

No in ICU on Ventilators: 6

Current inpatient, no longer positive: 10

Total Positive COVID Tests: 467

Total COVID-negative tests: 12,866

Total COVID Tests: 13,333

Post # 66
Member
386 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: City, State

@dianaj17:  “Frankly, I think that anybody who goes through with a wedding pre-vaccine or pre-mutation that is anything other than “less than 10 people, outdoors, 6 feet apart, no reception but maybe some takeout outdoors” is a moron”

You realize this could be 1-2 YEARS, correct? So anyone that has a social event in the next TWO YEARS is a moron to you? That is quite rude. Everyone has their own life experiences and own situation to manage. Mental health is important too. 

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@Anonymous1063:  Yeah I am not sure I follow this logic on commuting either. First off, zero connection to COVID and the topic at hand. Second, you come off as super holier than thou that you go out of your way to be sure you take public transit and harshly judge people who don’t. Driving a car to work vs. public transit is not an ethics discussion, this is a bit ridiculous. For example, I looked up what it would take to take public transit to my work. It would take 1.5 hours, and 3 separate buses. Including a 30 minute walk to the first buss. To go 7 miles. SEVEN. How is that better for the global climate than me driving my car those 7 miles?! 

OP, it is your own personal choice if you want to attend a wedding and if I were the bride and groom, I would not be upset at people for not attending. I don’t think this is normal wedding circumstances where not going is relationship ending move. This is different. Everyone is free to live in this strange world the way the feel best, whether that is holding a wedding, choosing to attend one, or choosing to stay home. If you don’t want to go, then don’t go. But don’t judge them when you may not know the full extent of the situation they are in. 

Post # 67
Member
13650 posts
Honey Beekeeper

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@justanormalgal:  If anything the numbers are artificially low. And as you say, these numbers are for just one health care provider, not your state. Without widespread testing and tracing there is no way to know the true prevalence, which is almost certainly many times these numbers. It only takes one super spreader event like a wedding to see numbers start to explode in any one location. 

Post # 68
Member
386 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: City, State

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@weddingmaven:  What about all the numbers of people that have had it, either with or without symptoms, that have not been tested and are now recovered? I agree with you we do not have the entire picture until they do wide spread testing, but I also think that can swing the opposite direction as you are thinking. At one point, scientists and health officials were stating the actual number of people that have had it could be as much as 2500% more. This would SIGNIFICANTLY reduce the death rate. 

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2020/apr/17/antibody-study-suggests-coronavirus-is-far-more-widespread-than-previously-thought

 

Post # 69
Member
744 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2020

I don’t think you’re crazy for canceling, and I don’t think the other couple is crazy for going ahead with their wedding, either. I would attend a wedding next month if I was invited.  I’m not in an “at risk” group and I could easily avoid people who are for a couple weeks afterward.  

Post # 70
Member
827 posts
Busy bee

OP, if the restrictions in the bride and grooms area have been lifted, they are not breaking any laws by holding their wedding.  As to how sensible it is, that’s up to the individual to decide.  Those who think it is unwise should not go.  

I think the most important thing for you is to work on putting aside your resentment that they are marrying when you had to cancel your wedding.  You are probably going to see a lot of other people marry before your postponed ceremony takes place, and if you end up feeling bitter or upset over each one, it’s really going to take an emotional toll on you.

I understand that it’s really tough, but so many couples have had to choose between a very basic ceremony with minimum legal witnesses this year and a larger celebration next.  And most of us don’t get our ‘ideal’ wedding, whichever we choose.  But I think we will be happier in the end if we can let go of the ‘might have beens’ and focus on what we actually have.  Best wishes x

Post # 71
Member
446 posts
Helper bee

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@temeculabride:  That is so crazy! I wonder what more research will come out from this. I got super sick in November with a super crappy flu. I had every symptom of COVID, but, at the time, I just passed it off as a nasty bug. 

 

Also, sorry to derail. This will be my only comment off topic.

Post # 72
Member
13650 posts
Honey Beekeeper

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@temeculabride:  The virus is just as present and just as lethal to the large numbers of people who are potentially vulnerable to it. We don’t fully understand why some people, including younger people can be affected so much more severely than others,  And it’s not just about death rates. A very underreported part of all of this are the number of people who have developed serious lasting consequences, including lung issues, neurological issues and more. 

All the openings really mean is there is now room for you or your loved ones in the ICU and a spot on a ventilator. 

Post # 73
Member
386 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: City, State

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@weddingmaven:  Oh yeah I am not disagreeing that it can be very bad for people. Especially if you’re in a high risk category it is important you protect your self, limit contact, wear masks. But the portrayed hospitalization rate and death rate is way way off. I just don’t think it’s fair to judge others so much for their choices in this difficult time. Cancel your wedding, hold your wedding, attend, don’t attend – don’t shame people. I’m not saying you were either. You are correct that no one knows the whole picture, and I just mean we don’t know if that’s for better or for worse. What if 80% of the population has already had it? Does that mean we all still live in a bubble for 2 years, to protect a small percentage? Not that I want any of my family and friends to get critically sick, but do those numbers change things? Like I said in my first comment, some of us cannot live in isolation for 1-2 years.  

Post # 74
Member
1673 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

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@temeculabride:  frankly, yes, I think that if we continue to experience consistently high numbers until there is a vaccine, it’s insane to host social gatherings of 100-200+ people. Even if that’s a year or two. It’s all well and good to say people can make their own choices, but in this thread alone, people have talked about the intense pressure that is coming with breaking social distancing to attend a wedding. It’s great if you wouldn’t care if your loved ones don’t come, but for a lot of families, there’s intense unspoken pressure, and it’s unfair for people to have to decide between dealing with what could be years of strained relationships or risking their health. If we could get to a New Zealand level situation, my opinion would change, but our cases have been spiraling and we’re due for them to continue to get worse as the year goes on. Risking the health of your friends and family by claiming it as “their own decision” is reckless. 

Post # 75
Member
486 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2020

I live in a country without cases, no community transmission. Gatherings of angry size have been allowed for the last month, so yea weddings are going ahead atm.

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