Are people seriously having normal weddings right now?

posted 5 months ago in Guests
Post # 92
Member
384 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - Rossino Castle

 I live in Northern Italy, exactly in Milan, one of the places with most cases of covid in our country. Weddings are now permitted, with a limited number of people, masks and distancing both in the ceremony seatings and during the reception, so at least 1 Mt between people at the tables, plexiglass between people and all that. Frankly, not only I wouldn’t go to a wedding right now, but I would postpone. My loved ones health means more than a party to me. 

Post # 93
Member
852 posts
Busy bee

I feel like people are missing the point that you CAN’T postpone in a lot of places without losing all of the money you’ve put into the wedding already. 

Post # 94
Member
386 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: City, State

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@buzzerbeater:  Yeah I mean if you are out 50K, I can totally understand why you would want to proceed regardless of who / how many people can come. If I paid for food and alcohol that was non refundable, I would be there eating and drinking it all even with 10 people. While everyone can say they would cancel, it’s different when you’re actually in that financial position. 

Post # 95
Member
1511 posts
Bumble bee

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@buzzerbeater:  not replying to you to specifically target the conversation to you, I just wanted to add onto what you said!

I do think it is important to look at all players and be mindful of the position they are in. I’ve heard of a lot of places refusing refunds or even just being flexible. It is awful, I dont envy the couple nor the business. I will say, in a local bride FB group in Houston, I’ve seen a handful on posts about people who had great vendors that worked with them on things like ‘hey I cant refund you on all the money you spent on catering, but what you did spend I can turn into a super amazing and elevated menu for 20-30 people rather than the 150 you planned for.’ I’d hope most brides and businesses would be willing to consider options like that if they are in the positions where they can’t reschedule 

Post # 97
Member
386 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: City, State

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@weddingmaven:  It may be true that deaths are underestimated, but it is also very true that the amount of people infected is very underestimated. That is a fact, especially when they say asymptomatic people are so concerning. It means that thousands if not more would fall in that population. It is also a fact that thousands have died of heart attacks and brain aneurysms from not going to the hospital, and the hundreds of thousands of missed cancer diagnosis. And the increase in domestic violence and suicides. 

You simply said the numbers in the media are misleading. I agree with you. No one understands the full impact, and it could be WORSE but it could also be BETTER. There simply isn’t enough data to make that call. 

Post # 98
Member
13658 posts
Honey Beekeeper

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@temeculabride:  My point is that the majority of experts in the actual field are not saying, as you did, that deaths and hospitalizations are “way, way” overestimated. They are saying the exact opposite based on reliable data and statistics, including the number of excess deaths. They know more than you think. 

“It is also a fact that thousands have died of heart attacks and brain aneurysms from not going to the hospital, and the hundreds of thousands of missed cancer diagnosis. And the increase in domestic violence and suicides.”

 

Not in anywhere near the kind of numbers that it would take, at least not yet. Not to mention how many fewer car accidents etc there have been because people have been staying home.

Post # 99
Member
6942 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

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@buzzerbeater:  “I feel like people are missing the point that you CAN’T postpone in a lot of places without losing all of the money you’ve put into the wedding already.”

I agree with this and I would totally feel horribly for couples put in this position. However that doesn’t mean that they simply have no choice but to go on like COVID doesn’t exist. The OP said this bride and groom have mentioned nothing about the virus at all. No mention on their website, nothing about masks, nothing at all or how they know people’s health comes first so if they can’t make it they’d understand. I’m sure many couples are being placed into a terrible position right now but they can still communicate and do what they can to make their guests feel a little more at ease. Not just like they’re like “Virus? What virus?”

Post # 101
Member
1964 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

Absolutely not okay. Jeez. 

We have friends in rural Montana that are having their wedding as planned: 40 guests were invited (we were not, but we wouldn’t be able to go anyway lol). I would feel okay going to that wedding if it was just down the street. Montana hasn’t been hit hard at all; I think they’re barely over 500 total cases. Then again, no one lives there, lolol. 

If a wedding isn’t small and in the state of Montana, I wouldn’t go to it until 2021.

Post # 102
Member
852 posts
Busy bee

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@minnerose:  A venue is just one vendor in a wedding. Depending on the wedding, there’s the florist, photographer, wedding planner, catering company, cake baker. I’m not saying it’s necessarily “right” to have a wedding at the moment but there are so many decisions to made on a daily basis in regards to covid and I’m pretty tired of the people standing on their high horses shouting down at people like what they’re doing is correct and what other people doing isn’t. It’s a tough time and everyone has to accept some type of risk in anything they do now. You’re post comes across pretty judgy, if you don’t want to go then don’t but you can’t make decisions for other people. 

Post # 104
Member
13658 posts
Honey Beekeeper

People are losing a lot more than money. I’m glad people are speaking up about how risky it is to hold a traditional wedding right now. Perhaps it will ultimately put pressure on these venues. If this was me, and a venue refused to allow a postponement or any accomodation, I’d refuse to back down and worst came to worst would eat the deposits and let them sue for the rest. I agree that none of this is simple, easy, or pleasant for any of the parties involved. but there is simply no way I could invite people to a social function right now. 

When people are exposed, bring it back to their communities, and cases as well as death and hospitalization rates continue to go up as a result, that affects all of us and makes it everyone’s business. 

Post # 105
Member
311 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2016 - Tennessee

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@minnerose:  I agree with you 100%. I would NOT be attending that wedding. 

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