(Closed) Are people shocked when they find out your fiance is another race/religion?

posted 6 years ago in Intercultural
Post # 3
Member
10453 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

People haven’t been rude to me about it, but I think mainly they are shocked when they find out my fiancé is Asian because they assume he’s way shorter than me. I’m almost 6’2″ and yes he is a couple inches shorter but probably not what they’re thinking!

Post # 4
Member
6512 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

Yes, I’ve definitely gotten some weird/judgy looks when people find out (and for the most part, I have lived in very liberal areas).  It angers and saddens me :/

Post # 5
Member
3766 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

I’m a Hispanic Catholic. He’s white, raised Christian, but non practicing. Thankfully I don’t get the shocked reaction from people, although it did take family a tiny bit of time to get over him not being Catholic. The fact that he is open to a Catholic ceremony, and raising the kids Catholic, helped a lot.

Post # 6
Member
1399 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I live and work in Central America, but I’m white white white and from the US. Fiance is pretty well brown and from here and very “indio” (native american) looking. When either gringos or latinos hear that I’m engaged, most immediately ask “Is he gringo?” or “Is he latino?” If they don’t, when they meet him they either look surprised or say “I didn’t know he was latino!”

I’m from NYC, where none of this is usually suprising or even a thought… at least in my circle. No one here has been outwardly disapproving of our relationship due to race,  but a lot of people stare or say things indicating their surprise. It’s kind of weird to see what a big deal it is to many people.

Post # 7
Member
2559 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I married a man of the same ethnicity as myself, but maybe the “Oh” faces are just because people tend to think of others in pairs of the same race when they don’t know the other party? Not just white-white but also Asian-Asian, black-black, etc, and that face is just them readjusting their schemas of what a relationship looks like. I hope they are not offensive about it! Hopefully they are just expanding their worldview a little.

Post # 8
Member
1719 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’m Asian and the Darling Husband is white.  I’m in a big city so it’s relatively normal but down where Darling Husband lives (we are a LDR couple), they assume that the Darling Husband picked me up while he was on tour with the Navy because that area is full of Navy men.  *rolling eyes*  I was born here in the States and I speak perfect English!  lol 

Post # 9
Member
5657 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2012

My mom was super shocked when she found out my boyfriend (now husband) was Christian. And not just like, culturally so, actually a Christian who’s faith effected his daily life. She wasn’t very happy about it at all. She’s less happy now that I am Christian too.

Post # 10
Member
3357 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@mnp:  I’m Asian and Darling Husband is white. He (and even my SIL!) gets questions like “Can you understand her?” and “Does she speak English?”. I come from a country that was colonized by the British, I damn well speak English and perfectly too, thanks to my parents!

Post # 11
Member
10367 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

People I knew in high school back in Texas got judgy when they realized my husband is Jewish. But these are people who are Christian and picketed when a new Catholic church was built in town so it’s a really low bar for discrimination. Where I live now people could literally not care less about your religion or race. Love Berkeley for that!

Post # 12
Member
1160 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@DeathByDesign:  That’s sad! Usually, I see it impacts a person in a positive way. (In my experience)

Post # 13
Member
1719 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@strawbs:  It gets so ridiculous after a while.  One of these days I’m going to be bold enough to go along with it to see them cringe.  lol

Post # 14
Member
384 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I havn’t encountered many “Oh”s and suprised looks when I’m with my SO here in Scotland. He looks kind of chinese-white (he’s Mexican), but not like anything people here are used to so I don’t think his race really registers with them. Plus mixed couples are rather common where I live anyway.

 However everyone in my SO’s small town in NC is always very suprised by me. Either because they found out I’m not a christian or because I’m not hispanic, but most of all when they hear my accent. Few people over there seem to have met a Europian, let alone come across a local who’s marrying one!

Post # 15
Member
10453 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

@strawbs:  I just have to say that reminds me of the very first episode of Modern Family when Cam and Mitchell announce they’re adopting a baby girl from Vietnam and naming her Lily, and Jay says “Lily, won’t that be hard for her to pronounce?” Love that show! 🙂

Post # 16
Member
474 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I am not in a similar situation, however, I am appalled at society that this is even an issue.  I guess I am a little more open minded then most, and know that people are prejudice, but I thought we were a little more past this issue then 40, 50 years ago, but it seems I was wrong.  To me, love has no color, age, size … 

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