(Closed) Are save the dates really necessary…?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 16
1341 posts
Bumble bee

I’ve never actually received one before. Personally I don’t see the point. 

Post # 17
296 posts
Helper bee

Where I come from there is no such thing as save the dates so no, I don’t think they’re necessary. Nothing is, really, except from the bride and groom. You can call people on the phone.

Post # 18
156 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

We sent an email out six months in advance. Free and everyone got a heads up.

Post # 19
2603 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2008 - County courthouse

I hate recieving stds. The invitation is good enough for me. It’s sent out well in advance anyway. I got a std once and I just rolled my eyes and threw it away.

Post # 20
372 posts
Helper bee

I’ve never received one, we just did a facebook STD + Send us your addresses event page 4 months before the wedding. We told all our friends when it was anyway so most had it in their phone calendar already.

Post # 21
864 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

PrinnyMartel:  I am only sending save the dates to out of town guests, as many will need to take vacation days. Many employers ask people to put in their vacation days in January, so mine are going out this month. The save the date is a refrigerator magnet, so it’s not likely to be lost. I’m also sending the hotel and area entertainment info. I’m doing a one stop shop kind of deal. The ceremony and reception are at the same place and there is a hotel on either side of it. They are 2 mins from an awesome mall, many restaurants, movies,  and the venue is also a theatre, so they can catch a musical if they want to. I’ll also be staying there the the night before, so if my great aunt is in the building, I’ll definitely be stopping by for hugs, kisses, and marital advice. Everything is right outside of Chicago and there are other relatives here, so their trip may very well turn into a mini vacation. I feel the save the date should be sent out so everyone out of town knows what’s going on. Out of 300 guests, I’m only sending STD’s to 30 houses, so the cost really isn’t budget breaking. I won’t be sending any to local folks because they won’t need to take any days off, or make preparations to join us. I’ll send out invites at the typical time, two months before the wedding (end of April).

Post # 23
174 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

In my opinion Save the Dates are for destination weddings, and they should be sent out far in advance so guests can have time to book time off of work and save for the trip.

Our wedding venue is approx 1.5-2 hours from our house, so while it’s not “destination” (as in guests have to take a plane and stay for a week), our guests will need to book hotels. However, we didn’t send save the dates beause our guest list is about 100 people. We’re only inviting direct relatives and very close friends, so everyone invited to the wedding knows what date it is and we’ve been sending reminders to book hotels because we talk on a weekly to monthly basis.

Post # 24
3586 posts
Sugar bee

Nope…i am spreading the word and will be down everyone’s throat for addresses for invites and rsvp returns. Even then rsvp will be by email only.

Post # 25
238 posts
Helper bee

Aquaria:  Absolutely . I couldn’t believe it when this started  to be a’ tradition’

Post # 26
7556 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

Sending out cards isn’t necessary but it’s nice to let people know your date beforehand. A phone call or email works just as well! 

Post # 27
688 posts
Busy bee

I don’t think save the dates are necessary, but I think they can be helpful. Because think of it like this. The save the date is literally just for the invitee to save the date. You send it out say six months ahead. They can then mark the calendar, know not to schedule other things on that date, take off any time if that’s needed, etc. Then say 1.5-2 months months before the wedding you send the actual invitation, and it acts as a reminder, and lets them re-evaluate the situation, make sure they can still go, and give an RSVP after they’ve had more than enough time to plan and think things over. If you send out the actual invite that far ahead, they may mark the calendar, but put the RSVP card aside and forget about it/lose it. I do however agree with PP that the STD doesn’t have to be so official if you want to save costs. 

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