(Closed) Are save the dates really necessary?

posted 5 years ago in Guests
Post # 2
9869 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

The only other reason I think they’re practical is when your wedding is on a holiday weekend.  Otherwise, I don’t think they’re necessary!

Post # 3
3046 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - Poppy Ridge Golf Course

I didn’t even realize STD’s were a thing until coming here. Seriously confused as to why an announcement has to be sent to inform a person that they will later get an invite months down the line. I thought the invitation was the announcement. O.o Really don’t think we’ll be wasting money on this.

Post # 4
143 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

Save the Dates aren’t necessary and you won’t find an etiquette guru that says they’re a must. It was one of my “hell, why not” things to do. We did an email, so it couldn’t have been any cheaper. There are sites that will let you design a pretty email for free.

Post # 5
2263 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Nope.  We didn’t do save the dates, and I have no regrets.  Even if you do send them, people are still going to not save the date.  


Post # 7
1180 posts
Bumble bee

I personally like them, espicially if the wedding is in the summer. It helps us plan vacations, time at the cottage, golf tournaments etc.

Post # 8
1449 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

No, definitely not necessary. For any of our VIPs and people we definitely were inviting and had to make travel arrangements, we just sent them an email or called them to let them know the information. 

Post # 9
7440 posts
Busy Beekeeper

They are only necessary if a significant amount of guests need notice, if they are traveling or need to put in for time off work very far in advance. This is not the case for you so they are not needed.

Post # 10
776 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Its not neccessary but its helpful for out of town guests especially. You could just let your VIPs know word of mouth. It would stink if your friends or family booked some non-refundable vacation they could have easily done a different weekend had they known your date. And if you start just telling everyone….well then most people find it easier to just send a postcard!

Post # 11
1669 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: Malibou Lake Mountain Club

View original reply
soon2bemrs10142017 :  we did it because we had a lot of family out of state and this would allow them ahead of time to potentially find flights in. It worked out

Post # 12
721 posts
Busy bee

most people I know dont’ really pay much attention to them. From what I hear the way of thinking is to send them out, expect people to hold the date, but you don’t have to send them a invite.

They seem to cause more harm than good IMO- people getting a STD way ahead, then they break up with the groom’s brother, then it’s awkward as to will they get a invite. I wouldn’t bother myself. If you think some need a extra far ahead notice, I’d just send their invites earlier.


Post # 13
3756 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - Hotel Ballroom

We did save the dates via email…but it was just because we wanted to…not because we had to. Plus everyone kept asking us if we had picked a date yet. 

I don’t see them as necessary though.

Post # 14
1227 posts
Bumble bee

Totally not necessary. We did choose to do them because we had a very short engagement (3.5 months), so we whipped up a postcard on Minted a few days after we knew the date. We only sent to immediate family that we 100% knew would be invited, and I’m glad we did; we aren’t able to invite everyone we’d initially hoped to. 

Post # 15
90 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

View original reply
soon2bemrs10142017 :  I only had them because mine will be a destination wedding and I wanted to give my guests plenty of notice in advance. That way, they can make all the necessary arrangements (put in vacation requests at work, book flights, hotels) ahead of time before I actually work out the nitty gritty details of the wedding. I also provided a link to our wedding website, which can be updated along the way.

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