(Closed) Are save the dates really necessary?

posted 5 years ago in Guests
Post # 16
Member
1885 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

I liked sending them. There were people who I thought knew the date (close friends/family) but it turns out they totally forgot the exact date until the received a STD card in the mail. 

Post # 17
Member
834 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2017 - historical mansion

The woman who runs our venue and is very opinionated on EVERYTHING told us not to waste money on paper ones and said that we should send them via email. We used Paperless Post and were able to design our own. We just sent them out a couple of weeks ago, and lots of people have written back saying that they think they are cute and are excited for the wedding, so I am really glad that we did it. Paperless Post also give you the option to ask people to submit their address and then it collects them for you in an Excel file. You get to see who viewed the card, too. Every single person opened ours (!) except one friend whose husband is going to be our officiant, so I’m sure she saw his email. 🙂 Anyway, I liked doing the email save the dates; they are totally free and fun.

Post # 18
Member
1 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: July 2017

Im doing save the dates but only because 1. we changed our wedding date and location 2. a large portion of our guests are from out of town and 3. we’re getting married during a holiday weekend. ours is simply for pre planning purposes. otherwise id say use the money for something else.

Post # 19
Member
763 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
soon2bemrs10142017 : in some cases they are. the STD is great for couples who don’t know where their wedding is going to be, what time, etc. personally I like to block out important events looooong in advance because I travel a lot.

but  if you plan on sending your invites early then no, they’re not really necessary.  

Post # 20
Member
3102 posts
Sugar bee

I think they’re useful when you want to give your guests plenty of notice – like if your wedding is going to be during a very busy time of year (at Christmas/Thanksgivng/New Years or perhaps during graduation season), or if you’re planning a destination wedding and want to give everyone plenty of time to save money in order to attend.  But for most weddings, I don’t think they’re necessary.

Post # 21
Member
178 posts
Blushing bee

I skipped save the dates and verbally told everyone the date. I still got crap from people who have bad memories. I was also told I should have sent my invitations out sooner than I did, but my thought was the people that cared enough would remember.

Post # 22
Member
975 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

Nope. But we sent them anyway. They were fun and we were excited. People seem to appreciate the heads up. Ours were magnets and everyone seems to love that they can just stick them on the refrigerator. 

Post # 23
Member
13643 posts
Honey Beekeeper

It is perfectly fine to dispense with these. Common as they are, traditionally they are actually improper.They can theoretically be considered a competitive move, designed to beat out other weddings and social functions that issue invitations within a  normal time frame. In addition, they rarely  do what they claim to do. Most conflicts will not be known until much closer to the date. Guest lists can change,too. One on one communication is the preferred method for those who really do need to know sooner, ie close relatives, long distance travelers etc.

That said I think they make sense for some people and don’t know anyone these days who thinks they are designed to compete.

Post # 24
Member
3395 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

As our wedding location is out-of-town for 100% of our guests, and on a different continent for about 60% of them, we are sending our Save the Dates 11 months in advance! We get asked all the time by friends and relatives when and where the wedding will be so I hope they will be gladly received. I personally think they are really cute and helpful for those who need to book accomodation/flights far in advance (which allows guests to get the best deals), but not necessary for guests who live in the area. I got mine printed at Staples for 40$ CAN (for 65 STDs), after using a fancy online template (Paperless Post), screenshotting the image and saving it as a jpg. They turned out beautifully on really nice card stock!

Post # 25
Member
481 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2016 - Theater

We had a destination wedding (well, mostly destination to me and my wife) so we wanted to give plenty of notice to anyone who might want to take the travel (so that they might snatch early bird cheaper flights), and the wedding was at the backend of the summer holiday season so we wanted to ensure people wouldn’t book their white river rafting and paragliding (I obviously don’t know what people do on holiday?) on the same weekend if they actually wanted to attend.

Other than that, yeah, the invitations go out like two months prior? If you don’t want to send Save the Dates, don’t bother.

Post # 26
Member
2144 posts
Buzzing bee

I dont think they are necessary. That being said i was going to cut them and his mom threw a fit. Now he is on the samn STD bandwagon and is pushing the issue. Why I’m not sure cause most of their side of the family wont come anyway and they are the out of towners, so its all going to be for what? A waste of mone. I got a deal on zazzle, but it still annoys me. 

Post # 27
Member
424 posts
Helper bee

I don’t think many things are ‘necessary’ for weddings. Most of it is optional, save-the-dates included! Word of mouth accomplishes the same thing. But I sent STDs out, because it was a fun way to use our engagement photos.

Post # 28
Member
937 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - Mississauga Convention Centre

We aren’t having save the dates, the majority of our guests are from in town, the few that are from out of town will get the invitations earlier so they could book their accomodations

Post # 29
Member
183 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

View original reply
soon2bemrs10142017 :  We sent save the dates because we had a domestic destination wedding, so everyone was travelling. We wanted to make sure everyone could request vacation time, book hotels and flights, and set aside enough money for everything. It made sense in our situation, but otherwise it seems like a waste of money to send them.

Post # 30
Member
523 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

Where I live it’s pretty standard. I do not think they are super important, but my Fiance has a lot of family from out of state so I wanted to give them notice.  Don’t do it if you really don’t want to, invites sent out 8 weeks or so ahead of time are plenty of notice for most people. Vista print has some great deals, we did ours for around $20 so if budget is your concern you can do it for pretty cheap. Email is free!

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