Post # 17
I always buy a gift off the registry for the shower and write a check for the wedding. I don’t know anyone who had two separate registries unless they just registered at more than one store. I grew up in MA btw. I now live in the south, and it seems like a lot of people here only give one gift. My friend from here was shocked when I gave her gifts at both, but I wouldn’t feel comfortable only giving one since they are two separate events.
Post # 18
One of the many reasons why I requested no shower! I hate making people go out of their way for me, and to make them sit there while I open presents…hello awkward! Apparently that makes me weird though.
Post # 19
I felt exactly the same way – I didn’t want a shower at all. I finally agreed to do a women only bridal shower, and I found it so strange – but my mom was like “You open gifts like this at your birthday, so suck it up!” She felt like since I am getting married far away from most of my family and friends and not everyone can make it to the wedding that I would be robbing them of the chance to celebrate. I don’t think anyone would have cared, honestly. But my Maid/Matron of Honor was SOoooo excited to host a shower, too, so I caved. It was nice to see everyone, and yes, it was great to celebrate with some friends who won’t be able to make it to my actual wedding.
Post # 21
omg same here!!! My Future Mother-In-Law just laughed when i requested no shower.
Post # 22
Well, news to me, guess I need to make more room to store wedding gifts until we buy a house! AH!
I’m actually having two showers, one where I live now because FI’s family wanted to throw me one, and one in our hometown because my family wanted to throw me one. Good thing we incidently made our registries really big!
Post # 23
- Wedding: May 2013 - Pavilion overlooking golf course scenery, reception at banquet hall
I did not know this rule and suddenly feel very guilty for agreeing to my girls throwing me a shower 🙁 I thought the shower was just an easy way for guests to unload the big box on the bride so they didn’t have to lug it to the wedding.
FWIW I don’t care if my guests use their shower gift as their wedding gift and I hope none feel obligated to buy for both!
Post # 24
I don’t know if it’s a regional thing but I believe you bring a gift to the shower and another gift to the wedding. There’s no need for two registries, you just buy two gifts off the one registry.
Post # 25
I have always brought a gift specific to the bride for the shower (ie lingerie if it’s a REALLY close friend, lotions, picture frames, Victorias Secret gift cards) and then a card with money or something off a registry to the wedding that is for BOTH the bride and the groom. It can be very expensive though so I completely understand only giving either a shower OR wedding gift if finances are tough. I would much rather someone come to both events and get to be a part of both days, then worry about someone who is tight on money not making it to one or the other because of the gift.
Post # 26
i suddenly feel like a cheapskate, WHOOPS!
this is what i thought too, but apparently i was wrong! WHOOPS! 0.0 noted for all future weddings i attend!
Post # 27
My mother always told me that you only had to bring one gift. So up until about a year ago, that’s what I did.
Now I take a gift to both the shower and the wedding.
Post # 28
I guess I am in the minority…I thought (at least traditionally) a gift brought to the shower was enough. I would never expect someone to buy me something else if they brought something to a shower.
HOWEVER, I really think “gifting” is my love language or something, because if I really love someone, I like to give them a gift (even if it is just a really heartfelt letter/poem). With weddings, I typically buy a shower gift AND something for the wedding…and depending on the person, I bring something to the bach party (nothing tacky, maybe a VS gift card or something). BUT I would never expect someone to do the same; I get personal satisfaction out of gifting, I know most people do not haha.
I have also heard you bring a registry gift to a shower, but money to a wedding? I didn’t hear that til the Bee, though, so that could be regional as well.
Post # 29
Growing up in the Midwest, my family would do either a shower gift or wedding present, but not both. Not sure if it was regional or just because we didn’t have much money…
Post # 30
i’m from Indiana. maybe that’s it. heh
Post # 31
I’m from New York, and always thought of them as two different things – I give a smaller registry gift for the shower and a larger (usually cash) gift at the wedding. But I know some people don’t do it that way – I have a girlfriend from the Midwest who gave us a really expensive registry gift at my shower, and I’m assuming that that’s intended to be our “wedding gift” as well.