(Closed) Are shower gifts wedding gifts?? I thought they were the same thing!

posted 8 years ago in Gifts and Registries
  • poll: Are shower gifts and wedding gifts considered separate?

    Shower gifts are SHOWER SPECIFIC and a gift should still be brought to the wedding

    A shower gift is considered a guest's contribution and no gift needs to be brought to the wedding

  • Post # 17
    Member
    2214 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I always buy a gift off the registry for the shower and write a check for the wedding. I don’t know anyone who had two separate registries unless they just registered at more than one store. I grew up in MA btw.  I now live in the south, and it seems like a lot of people here only give one gift. My friend from here was shocked when I gave her gifts at both, but I wouldn’t feel comfortable only giving one since they are two separate events.

     

    Post # 18
    Member
    4099 posts
    Honey bee

    View original reply
    @Mimoza:  One of the many reasons why I requested no shower! I hate making people go out of their way for me, and to make them sit there while I open presents…hello awkward! Apparently that makes me weird though.

    Post # 19
    Member
    837 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    View original reply
    @whitums:  I felt exactly the same way – I didn’t want a shower at all. I finally agreed to do a women only bridal shower, and I found it so strange – but my mom was like “You open gifts like this at your birthday, so suck it up!” She felt like since I am getting married far away from most of my family and friends and not everyone can make it to the wedding that I would be robbing them of the chance to celebrate. I don’t think anyone would have cared, honestly. But my Maid/Matron of Honor was SOoooo excited to host a shower, too, so I caved. It was nice to see everyone, and yes, it was great to celebrate with some friends who won’t be able to make it to my actual wedding. 

    Post # 20
    Hostess
    2555 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    Two different gifts.

    Post # 21
    Member
    2966 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    View original reply
    @whitums:  omg same here!!! My Future Mother-In-Law just laughed when i requested no shower. 

    Post # 23
    Member
    1812 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013 - Pavilion overlooking golf course scenery, reception at banquet hall

    I did not know this rule and suddenly feel very guilty for agreeing to my girls throwing me a shower 🙁 I thought the shower was just an easy way for guests to unload the big box on the bride so they didn’t have to lug it to the wedding.

    FWIW I don’t care if my guests use their shower gift as their wedding gift and I hope none feel obligated to buy for both! 

    Post # 24
    Member
    2224 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    I don’t know if it’s a regional thing but I believe you bring a gift to the shower and another gift to the wedding. There’s no need for two registries, you just buy two gifts off the one registry.

    Post # 25
    Member
    1278 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    I have always brought a gift specific to the bride for the shower (ie lingerie if it’s a REALLY close friend, lotions, picture frames, Victorias Secret gift cards) and then a card with money or something off a registry to the wedding that is for BOTH the bride and the groom. It can be very expensive though so I completely understand only giving either a shower OR wedding gift if finances are tough. I would much rather someone come to both events and get to be a part of both days, then worry about someone who is tight on money not making it to one or the other because of the gift.

    Post # 27
    Member
    526 posts
    Busy bee

    My mother always told me that you only had to bring one gift.  So up until about a year ago, that’s what I did.

    Now I take a gift to both the shower and the wedding.

    Post # 28
    Member
    331 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    I guess I am in the minority…I thought (at least traditionally) a gift brought to the shower was enough. I would never expect someone to buy me something else if they brought something to a shower. 

    HOWEVER, I really think “gifting” is my love language or something, because if I really love someone, I like to give them a gift (even if it is just a really heartfelt letter/poem). With weddings, I typically buy a shower gift AND something for the wedding…and depending on the person, I bring something to the bach party (nothing tacky, maybe a VS gift card or something). BUT I would never expect someone to do the same; I get personal satisfaction out of gifting, I know most people do not haha. 

    I have also heard you bring a registry gift to a shower, but money to a wedding? I didn’t hear that til the Bee, though, so that could be regional as well. 

    Post # 29
    Member
    385 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    Growing up in the Midwest, my family would do either a shower gift or wedding present, but not both.  Not sure if it was regional or just because we didn’t have much money…

    Post # 31
    Member
    2899 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I’m from New York, and always thought of them as two different things – I give a smaller registry gift for the shower and a larger (usually cash) gift at the wedding. But I know some people don’t do it that way – I have a girlfriend from the Midwest who gave us a really expensive registry gift at my shower, and I’m assuming that that’s intended to be our “wedding gift” as well. 

    The topic ‘Are shower gifts wedding gifts?? I thought they were the same thing!’ is closed to new replies.

    Find Amazing Vendors