Post # 1
We have just got back from my fiancé’s sister’s wedding this weekend. TBH it was a massive let down as we found out a lot of our ideas and themes have filtered through and she did them, which was pretty hard to deal with. We’re just going with unintentional, and leaving be.
But, one thing that did hurt was that neither myself, nor any of her other brother’s fiancées are on any pictures. Because we’re not family 🙁
She had shots with her brothers, and with her husband’s sister and her wife and kids, but not us three or her niece.
Is this normal? To me and the other women, if felt harsh and rude, but maybe it’s just totally standard in some places? Would you or did you have your siblings’ partners on the pictures?
Just to clarify, we are all engaged and the shortest of the relationships is 3 years, (3, 5 and 7 to be exact!)
Post # 3
I think its rude. You all should be considered family because obviously one day you will be. I would have been offended
Post # 4
When my FSIL got married I was included in a bunch of their professional wedding photos – not just candid pics, but posed as well. At the time my FI and I were only dating and no where near getting engaged. I kinda felt it was weird, but FI and I worked out so all is well lol.
If you’re engaged or married? I think you should have been included.
Post # 5
I did not include siblings partners who were not married. None were engaged, so I never really thought about it. I think you guys should have been included. Maybe it totally slipped the bride’s mind?
Post # 6
I think you should have been included, too, but they are obviously drawing the line at marriage. If they are so worried that one or more of you may break up before the wedding, they could have taken some additional nuclear family shots.
Post # 7
@futuremrsmp I hoped so but my FI said he mentioned it to her, and she just wasn’t bothered at all about us 🙁
My mum would have kicked my arse! lol
I’m glad it’s not just us then that thought it was a bit off 🙂
Post # 8
At my wedding we included my husband’s brother’s fiancee (now his wife) in our family pictures – and at her recent wedding, they took pictures of the immediate family both with and without fiancees and wives. It does seem rude to exclude you from all the pictures.
Post # 9
I wouldn’t go out of my way to put GFs/BFs/Fiances in my formal wedding portraits just in case….Maybe 1 picture if we had time, but our portraits were so rushed there wasn’t any time for anything other than parents/grandparents/siblings (and siblings husbands/wives).
Post # 10
I agree that maybe they drew the line at married couples…you know just in case….like nobody gets divorced anymore.
It could be worse….at my first wedding, my exSIL (that I didn’t get along with) insisted and make a scene about her friend being in my exH’s family pics. This was the same girl that almost punched me out in HS and I really was pissed that my exSIL brought her as her guest….knowing damn well that we had bad blood.
Post # 11
Are any of her brothers (or maybe sisters not mentioned) actually married? A lot of times in my family, they like to do “core family” shots- -i.e., blood siblings. But they also do the in-laws in different shots. Maybe that was intended but forgotten?
You probably should have been included in some pictures, but they may have heard horror stories or something about how their friend’s sister was engaged but then they broke up, and now he’s in all the wedding shots and it’s sad, etc. But that could happen with married couples too. You really can’t win, ha.
Post # 12
I think it’s rude. My aunt and my cousin forced my cousin’s boyfriend into family pictures when they had only been dating a month, while DH was deliberately told he couldn’t be in family pictures when we were engaged, so this is a bit of a hot-button issue for me.
In this day of digital photography, I think it is ridiculous that there cannot be one picture with biological family only, and then another few pictures with all of the family so that everyone is happy.
Post # 13
@texasbee lol that’s what I was thinking! (about divorce) and pretty tackless about her friend!
Yeah but her neice? who is also her goddaughter? I just can’t get that one! She’s not going anywhere!
Post # 14
We took pictures with and without my SIL’s FI, which turned out to be a good thing since they are no longer together. I think that’s probably the best way to handle it with couples who are engaged or dating. But I have a blended family so I’m used to having 5 different combinations of every picture taken.
Once married, I think siblings-in-law should be included, unless we’re talking about something like a nuclear family picture without any spouses, children or other relatives. On a weird somewhat-related note, my other SIL was reluctant to get into a few family pictures even though we were urging her to, which just led to rampant speculation that she and my brother were getting a divorce. (Not true – she’s due any day with their second child.)
Post # 15
@LeopardPrintBee: Sounds pretty questionable to me. Did someone actually say to you “family only” or “y’all aren’t family”?
Post # 16
@LeopardPrintBee: I don’t consider the people my sisters married *my* family, but I would put them in my wedding photos for my sisters’ sake. There’s nothing wrong with them, I just define family as individuals who I am related to and have a real relationship with (so basically, my two sisters, my husbandm and my children).