Post # 32
We are having our mini bachelor/ette days a few days before the wedding. We invited SO’s of our bridal party members…but like I invited the gf of the Best Man to my day etc. If they were gay I’d probably have had Fiance invite to his bach day and work it out…figure out if/where they’d like to spend the day. But most of the SO’s who would attend my day and FI’s declined…so haha guess that worked out.
@Lovemelovemyhorses: Equity not equality. Sigh….
Post # 33
Why can’t the two SOs go hang out somewhere with each other while you guys go to your bachelorette party?
Post # 34
I don’t see why they should be invited. If they aren’t your personal friend, why should they be there? They can it suck upfor one night alone. Please, I’d be booking a spa appointment, checking out the sights or something. I have not problem entertaining myself for a few hours. I don’t get clingy couples, or people who can’t manage to survive without their S/O. I really don’t. This is about celebrating you, It’s not an extended date for them.
Post # 35
I think it’s rude to exclude them since they’ll be in town for your wedding.
Post # 36
My line of thinking is that if you invite these two SOs, you have to invite the other SOs, which could leave you the only “single” person, which I know I wouldn’t want for a bachelorette party.
On the other hand, if you are legitimately friends with these two SOs, and not the other SOs, you could have reason to invite them but not extend the offer further.
Post # 37
Nope, I really mean equality.
Equality is the state of being equal (in rights, status ect- so in my previous comment “You can’t have special treatment AND equal rights. I have a huge issue with minorities wanting special treatment because I am all for equal rights”, meaning that by giving someone special treatment you no longer have equal rights) and equity in this case would mean being fair and impartial. While I believe I am being fair and impartial (I’m sure we all do), I used equality because I believe that in this situation the SO’s of the two homosexual couples need to be treated the same as the heterosexual couples (or have equal ‘rights’).
Post # 38
Even though I understand that their SOs are in town for the wedding, I would think they could entertain themselves for an evening. I know I could if I were the SO of a bridal party member.
Post # 39
@Lovemelovemyhorses: I get what you’re saying. But you do not speak for “minorities.” And wanting “special treatment” as you put it is about equity not equality.
Post # 40
@icetea: Oh, I see!
Sorry, I thought that you were trying to imply that I had misused the word equality. It’s hard to convey tone over the internet.
I understand what you’re saying, and I can agree that in some cases minorities really do need special treatment (for instance, disabled parking), but I think they’re few and far between and this is not one of those times (I was thinking mostly about issues taking place in Australia when I wrote that actually).
Post # 41
My opinion is that unless it’s a jack and jill bachelor/bachelorette party, then no significant others allowed.
Eta as far as them coming from out if town? Who cares, they weren’t born attached at the hip to their SO’s andbif their SO’s can’t manage an evening to themselves, where they will likely be amply able to find other mutal friends in town for the wedding to visit with, then they need to learn not to be so dependent.
Post # 42
@Pollywog: “My bachelorette has 2 of my FI’s best friend’s girlfriends there. I am excited for them to be there.” It has just those girldfriends, or it has your Fiance best friends AND their girlfriends? Because that’s what I’m asking about.
Exactly, I am not looking to be the 5th, 7th, whatever wheel at my bachelorette party. I don’t think it should be a couples event unless I get to be part of a couple (my Fiance being there, which neither of us really desire).
I am hoping to keep it lighthearted and be like “Oh no couples! This night is about being away from SO’s for a little bit!” And see if the fiance/es can go to a movie or something. I think I’ll have my local friend “host” it (since she knows the area) and that way she can make a facebook event and only invite the peolpe I want to invite. Does that seem smart or backhanded?
I am surprised at how many people mentioned that I am obligated to invite the significant other of everyone who would be attending the bachelorette party so that they wouldn’t have to be in a hotel room alone. What? I would not throw a fit about that. Couples can’t be split up for a few hours for an event? That’s silly to me.
I can’t have it the weekend before. These people are flying from across the country. If I did not have it the night before, there’s no way Anna or Steve could go and I do REALLY want them there. The earliest they seem like they can fly in is Friday, so it’s got to be Friday night.
Post # 43
Normally, established couples have to be invited together to social events, but a bachelorette party is different because it’s really supposed to be about the bride’s closest friends celebrating the bride.
I don’t get all these comments along the lines of “what are the SOs supposed to do, sit at the hotel ALONE???” They are adults; hopefully they are capable of entertaining themselves for a few hours without their SO. Meet up with other friends in town for the wedding, go to the hotel bar and people watch, order a movie and room service in their hotel room, get a spa treatment… it’s not that hard. Do these people really have to do everything together?
Post # 44
If they were straight would their male SOs be coming? Nope so why should it be different for female SOs? They can watch t.v. in the hotel room for a few hours, its not the end of the world that they aren’t invited, they will be fine.
Post # 45
This is just not something that would upset me, personally. I know yours is a “travel/convenience/in-from-out-of-town” issue, but if one of my female friends even said she’d like to bring her boyfriend to my party for any reason (comfort, etc) I’d say “the more, the merrier!” I think you may be surprised by how many of your friends would still want a night out without their SO, even if you make one exception 🙂
Post # 46
@badabing88: +1. Fiance and I do most things together, and everyone in our social circle knows that. It wouldn’t be weird or unusual for us.