(Closed) Are significant others of guests allowed at bachelorette parties?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Should significant others of bridal party members go to the bachelorette party?

    Yes

    No

  • Post # 32
    Member
    1797 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    We are having our mini bachelor/ette days a few days before the wedding.  We invited SO’s of our bridal party members…but like I invited the gf of the Best Man to my day etc.  If they were gay I’d probably have had Fiance invite to his bach day and work it out…figure out if/where they’d like to spend the day.  But most of the SO’s who would attend my day and FI’s declined…so haha guess that worked out.

    @Lovemelovemyhorses:  Equity not equality.  Sigh….

    Post # 33
    Member
    532 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    Why can’t the two SOs go hang out somewhere with each other while you guys go to your bachelorette party? 

    Post # 34
    Member
    5879 posts
    Bee Keeper

    I don’t see why they should be invited. If they aren’t your personal friend, why should they be there? They can it suck upfor one night alone. Please, I’d be booking a spa appointment, checking out the sights or something. I have not problem entertaining myself for a few hours. I don’t get clingy couples, or people who can’t manage to survive without their S/O. I really don’t. This is about celebrating you, It’s not an extended date for them.

    Post # 35
    Member
    9168 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I think it’s rude to exclude them since they’ll be in town for your wedding.

    Post # 36
    Member
    2056 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2017

    My line of thinking is that if you invite these two SOs, you have to invite the other SOs, which could leave you the only “single” person, which I know I wouldn’t want for a bachelorette party.

    On the other hand, if you are legitimately friends with these two SOs, and not the other SOs, you could have reason to invite them but not extend the offer further.

    Post # 37
    Member
    1076 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2014

    @icetea:  

    Nope, I really mean equality.

    Equality is the state of being equal (in rights, status ect- so in my previous comment “You can’t have special treatment AND equal rights. I have a huge issue with  minorities wanting special treatment because I am all for equal rights”, meaning that by giving someone special treatment you no longer have equal rights) and equity in this case would mean being fair and impartial. While I believe I am being fair and impartial (I’m sure we all do), I used equality because I believe that in this situation the SO’s of the two homosexual couples need to be treated the same as the heterosexual couples (or have equal ‘rights’). 

     

    Post # 38
    Member
    6610 posts
    Bee Keeper

    Even though I understand that their SOs are in town for the wedding, I would think they could entertain themselves for an evening. I know I could if I were the SO of a bridal party member.

    Post # 39
    Member
    1797 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    @Lovemelovemyhorses:  I get what you’re saying.  But you do not speak for “minorities.”  And wanting “special treatment” as you put it is about equity not equality.

    Post # 40
    Member
    1076 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2014

    @icetea:  Oh, I see!

    Sorry, I thought that you were trying to imply that I had misused the word equality. It’s hard to convey tone over the internet.

    I understand what you’re saying, and I can agree that in some cases minorities really do need special treatment (for instance, disabled parking), but I think they’re few and far between and this is not one of those times (I was thinking mostly about issues taking place in Australia when I wrote that actually).

    Post # 41
    Member
    1953 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    My opinion is that unless it’s a jack and jill bachelor/bachelorette party, then no significant others allowed. 

    Eta as far as them coming from out if town? Who cares, they weren’t born attached at the hip to their SO’s andbif their SO’s can’t manage an evening to themselves, where they will likely be amply able to find other mutal friends in town for the wedding to visit with, then they need to learn not to be so dependent.

    Post # 43
    Member
    2001 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2010

    Normally, established couples have to be invited together to social events, but a bachelorette party is different because it’s really supposed to be about the bride’s closest friends celebrating the bride.

    I don’t get all these comments along the lines of “what are the SOs supposed to do, sit at the hotel ALONE???”  They are adults; hopefully they are capable of entertaining themselves for a few hours without their SO.  Meet up with other friends in town for the wedding, go to the hotel bar and people watch, order a movie and room service in their hotel room, get a spa treatment… it’s not that hard.  Do these people really have to do everything together?

    Post # 44
    Member
    1203 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2015

    If they were straight would their male SOs be coming? Nope so why should it be different for female SOs? They can watch t.v. in the hotel room for a few hours, its not the end of the world that they aren’t invited, they will be fine.

    Post # 45
    Member
    3380 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    This is just not something that would upset me, personally. I know yours is a “travel/convenience/in-from-out-of-town” issue, but if one of my female friends even said she’d like to bring her boyfriend to my party for any reason (comfort, etc) I’d say “the more, the merrier!” I think you may be surprised by how many of your friends would still want a night out without their SO, even if you make one exception 🙂

    Post # 46
    Member
    7813 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    @badabing88:  +1. Fiance and I do most things together, and everyone in our social circle knows that. It wouldn’t be weird or unusual for us.

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