(Closed) Are some men’s reason for marriage not so romantic?

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
442 posts
Helper bee

@mxpinky: I’ve heard many men say they’re going to propose because “its time”. 

Post # 4
Member
1269 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

health insurance – he needs two knee replacements and is self employed

Post # 6
Member
10367 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

Marriage is a human-made thing – it wouldn’t exist without societal pressure! I do think “because it’s time” is pretty lame, though. My husband’s reasons were long and gushing – not unromantic at all!

Post # 7
Member
1313 posts
Bumble bee

Oh, yes. I do think so. I don’t think it’s wrong though, it’s just how the natural process of things “go” for many couples.

However, do you think age is a reason “it’s time” too?

He’s soon to be 29, and I think that’s another big reason for him. He wants to “get things going” and settle before turning 30.

Post # 8
Member
1269 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@happyb:  at 53 with falling apart parts- romance comes and goes:)   I was fine being Gene Simmons/Shannon Tweed.

Post # 9
Member
1269 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

The first time definately was “it seems like the right thing to do”

Post # 10
Member
1556 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

@retreadbride: Yeah, that was my reason the first time too. 

Post # 11
Member
459 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I think many women get married for these same reasons!

Post # 12
Member
870 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Yup! And frankly it’s my reason for wanting to marry him too! I love him dearly, he’s my friend, my family, and I want to be with him until we’re two little old people holding hands. 

But a lot of my reason for wanting “to get married” is because it’s time. Biologically. I’d like to be married before I have bebes and time-wise I’ve got about 5 years before it’s time to close up shop down there. (I know very well that women can have perfectly healthy babies after 35, but there are a number of reasons I don’t want to be one of them.)

If I never wanted to have kids? I could probably hold off on the marriage thing a little while more. At some point I’d want him to be in the hospital if something happened to me and vice-versa so I doubt I’d say I NEVER wanted to get married.

But right now it’s definitely because it’s time. 

Post # 13
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

my hubby once said to a good buddy who announce he was engaged, “congrats – cant stay single and happy all your life”

nice honey, real nice

 

Post # 14
Member
600 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2006

I think there’s a huge difference between a “reason to get married at this point as opposed to any other” and “reason to get married to this person.”  I think some may interpret people’s responses as “unromantic” because they might be thinking “because it’s time” is an answer to “why this person?”

Post # 15
Member
870 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@LaurenK0105:

I think that is the answer sometimes though. Like that whe theory from Sex and he City about a guys “light going on”. Where guys can date forever and not want to get married and boom, one day their light goes on and they’ll marry the person they’re with when that happens. (or the next person right after)

Post # 16
Member
1671 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

My SO has already mentioned the he knows it’s time.  I know that is not romantic but it’s true. I think it does have a lot to do with age and whether you want kids or not.  I really did not worry that much about being married until I hit 30.  Then I really started to worry.  I did talk to my SO once before I turned 30 and he said he was not ready and I was cool with that.  I would not be cool with that now.  Now that he is 30 too I think he is starting to be on the same page as me at least I hope so.  I’ve known a lot of other long term couples who say the same thing.

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