(Closed) Are some people just incapable of being happy?

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
494 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Yup.  I seem to recall you posting about her before – doesn’t she have a shitload of issues in her life?  Or is that a different SIL?  That could be why she’s so negative all of the time.  

Post # 4
Member
1668 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Yes.  I have met quite a few people like that.  I keep my distance.  Some people just love to complain and that’s the total opposite of my personality. 

Post # 5
Member
9640 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@MrsFuzzyFace:  Yes, it’s possible for someone to be chronically negative.  My sister is this way.  Her (now ex, poor soul couldn’t take it any more) husband built her an incredibly beautiful home in the mountains, exactly to her specifications, and all she ever talked about was how much she HATED everything about it.  She was never pleased with anything he ever did for her.  And he is a great guy. 

So, he left her about a year ago for another woman and now they are divorced. So now she doesn’t have the husband or the house.  I’m not saying he was right to do what he did, but also I couldn’t blame him for wanting to get away from her constant negativity and complaining.

I sometimes can’t believe we’re sisters because we’re exact polar opposites in every way.  I always make the best of things, no matter how difficult.  She always tears everything down, no matter how wonderful.  Go figure.

Post # 7
Member
2539 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

In the field I work in I meet people like this ALL THE TIME!!!! it drives me buts because they want you to be miserble like them!

I have family like this also and I have learned to love them from a distance.

Post # 8
Member
9955 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Some people have so many issues with THEMSELVES (low self-esteem, self-loathing etc) that they NEVER are happy with the world, mostly because, they don’t feel that they deserve to be happy.

It is a vicious cycle… one they cannot get out of without some serious intervention therapy.

My first Hubby was like this… it accounted for his addiction to alcohol, and his ultimate death.  Really, really sad in the end.

PS… If both your SILs are similiar in personality, it could root back to their childhood, perhaps they had Parents who made them feel very inadequate or they emmotionally abused them

 

Post # 10
Member
5405 posts
Bee Keeper

We hold onto emotions subconsciously for a long time without knowing it. They could probably benefit from some counseling. They likely don’t even know they are such negative people. 

Post # 11
Member
4478 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Ah, yes.  People like this are a serious drag.  It’s a really sad way to live.

Post # 12
Member
2790 posts
Sugar bee

To be honest, you can come off the same way on here. You are constantly complaining about your SIL’s, people who have similar rings to you, the way people look at you, the way people treat you, and a miriade of other things.

 

I guess it alL boils down to your perception of her and how you choose to respond. It is her choice to continue to live that way and you have to learn to just accept it instead of constantly thinking poorly of her for how she chooses to live.

Post # 14
Member
790 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Yes, there are some people who are only happy when they’re miserable. My ex is one perfect example. Here are a few choice remarks: When I asked him (after my friend’s bout with breast cancer and several of my daughter’s friends’ mothers facing cancer) “Don’t you feel grateful when you look over and see this woman in your bed who has been with you for 24 years and she’s healthy and whole  and do you thank God for your healthy, beautiful children?” His response, “No, I wonder is this all there is to my life?” How about this: we were discussing son’s upcoming college and ex says,”I just see a future where I’m living alone in one room eating cat food and in debt up to my eyeballs.” This from a man who makes more than 3 times what I make, has a healthy retirement in place and job security.

 

So yes, some people are only happy when they are miserable, and happiest when they drag others down with hm

Post # 15
Member
812 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

Yes. It’s possible. I work with a bitter ole bag of bitch and I honestly don’t think she’s ever had any kind of true happiness in her life.

Post # 16
Member
3471 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA

Misery is a choice. So is happiness.  

You can HATE the situation you’re in and still be happy– Trust me, I’ve been there!!! 

If all she chooses to focus on is the negative, that’s all she’ll see.  It’s sad, but it’s true– until she WANTS to see the positives of her situation she wont. 

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