Are some people really too broken to find someone forever?

posted 8 months ago in Emotional
  • poll: Are some just too much to find someone to be with forever?
    yes, some people nobody could deal with : (29 votes)
    69 %
    no, there's someone for everyone : (13 votes)
    31 %
  • Post # 2
    Member
    9900 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2016

    I think there are some people who shouldn’t be in a relationship. That doesn’t mean they can never find love or be healthy enough to be in one. But some people, at some points in their life just aren’t suited to being in a relationship. 

    Nothing you mentioned makes me think you can’t be in a relationship. Lots of people have been divorced, have shitty families, and trauma in their past but can build a happy lives for themselves, including being in a happy, loving relationship. 

    I don’t know what article you read but I think you are taking it way too seriously. Everyone has dealbreakers but not everyone has the same dealbreakers. You just have to find someone who is the right fit for you.

    Post # 3
    Member
    793 posts
    Busy bee

    Yes, if they aren’t willing to work *hard* on their shit. I’m talking serious work on themselves (perhaps with a therapist), their self-worth and understanding why they do what they do and how to change direction. If a person is willing to take a good honest look at themselves and make real changes – there’s no reason why he/she couldn’t be in a healthy romantic relationship. 

    Post # 4
    Member
    1310 posts
    Bumble bee

    I mean, there are people with very severe mental handicaps who aren’t capable of engaging in an adult romantic relationship, but I don’t know if anyone can be “too broken” FOREVER. Probably, given how many billions of people are on the planet and how many billions more have been on the planet for several thousand years… I assume ONE of them was “too broken” for a relationship.

    But does this apply to you? Doesn’t sound like it, Bee. It sounds like you can get help for the things that you feel are a burden/deal breaker for others. But the first step is not to get lost in thinking that you’re “no good” or “too broken”; that’ll kill off a relationship every time. Have you looked into what kinds of resources you have for help? 

    Post # 6
    Member
    1865 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2015

    pancakepurin :  Unless someone is a serial killer or a child molester or something really messed up, then no I don’t think you can be too broken.  Certainly not from just being a victim of bad circumstances.  From your description, you seem perfectly worthy of a happy relationship.

    Post # 7
    Member
    1660 posts
    Bumble bee

    I don’t think some people are too “broken”. But some people are insufferable by choice and choose not to grow. They’re petty, selfish, and cruel. Those people will be alone forever. 

    Post # 8
    Member
    8978 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    Yeah, there aren’t really too many Miss Havishams around. Be of good cheer op, if you are kind of thinking you are too ‘broken’, l don’t believe you are. 

    Post # 9
    Member
    1581 posts
    Bumble bee

    pearlrose :  Not to condone, but some pretty notorious serial killers got married while in prison.  

     

     

    Post # 11
    Member
    871 posts
    Busy bee

    hikingbride :  I think this is one of the best posts I’ve seen on weddingbee, very wise words. 

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