(Closed) are STDs necessary?

posted 5 years ago in Paper
Post # 3
5778 posts
Bee Keeper

I don’t think they are, but I’ve also found that many people now seem to rely on getting them. Especially for summer weddings, people’s calendars fill up quickly! We had a few that were already informed and penciled in other weddings on the same day since they didn’t know the date of ours in advance.

Post # 4
9954 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Etiquette Snob here… lol

Save-The-Date Cards are fairly new on the Wedding scene.. they were dreamed up by the “Wedding Industry Complex” (or conspiracy, depending on how you look at it) so that Wedding Stationery Companies could make more money (not to mention Photographers who now do EPhoto Sessions)

The STD has replaced the once Engagement Announcement that would appear in the Local Newspaper’s Social Pages prior to the Wedding

In reality, an STD is nothing more than a “personalized hand-bill / flyer” that announces an upcoming event

Nothing more… nothing less

Where it gets tricky from an Etiquette POV socially is that they also include the words “Save The Date” which IMPLIES you are telling them not just of your recent Engagement but also that you INTEND to invite them to the Wedding

(Whereas the good old Newspaper Engagement Announcement just announced GOOD NEWS didn’t imply that anyone reading it was going to be Invited)

Where Brides run into issues therefore with Save-The-Date Cards (and in reality, also when they announce their Engagements on Social Networking Sites) is because it is going out to Friends & Family they assume they are all invited.

So you better get the info right… cause it would be seen to be RUDE to do this, and then not invite these “friends” you’ve told

So BEFORE anyone prints & sends out an STD they should make sure they have 100% worked out the following details:

  1. The Date
  2. The Wedding Budget
  3. The Guest List
  4. The Venue

In so much as The Date & Venue, should be available, and that The Budget & Venue should be able to accommodate the Guest List.

Too many Brides2B newly engaged and excited have sent out Save-The-Date Cards, only to discover that they didn’t work thru the bigger picture… and later on down the road find out that Their Venue doesn’t accommodate as many as they thought it would… or that due to costs their Guest List is too GRAND for what they can truly afford.

Not a good thing.  As their is no “appropriate” way to rescind either a STD or an Invite without a loss of face.

So NO you don’t need em

YES eliminating them is a great way to save money

And IF YOU DO use them… make sure you do so correctly

Hope this helps,


Post # 5
604 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

No, they’re not necessary at all.  We sent them mainly becasue over half of our guests were from out of town and would need to make arrangements a few months in advance in order to attend.  If there are a few people you want to alert of the date, you could always send them an e-mail.

Post # 7
488 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

We didn’t think Save-The-Date Cards were worth the postage to send them, so we just told friends and family by word of mouth when the wedding is. Apparently when my cousin got married last year, his fiancée sent out Save-The-Date Cards and no one in my family knew what it was lol

Post # 9
9954 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

 To @Jw1724:  thanks for the Reply / UPDATE

Ya, and you’d probably fall over if you figured out the cost… Stamps alone are shocking.

My best advice, is just save your money (and the time & effort) for the actual Wedding Invites.  Lol, you can get started on the Handwritten Addressing !!

Get your info out about your Upcoming Wedding by word of mouth etc.  It will be fine… it is how it was done for DECADES before the Internet… lol, it is a Wedding, people will be happy to hear about it / talk about it for sure (include the basics in your Christmas Cards if you intend to send any… “Hope to see you at the Wedding in May, Love JW1724”)

Hope this helps,


Post # 10
2076 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - British Columbia

I did mine via word-of-mouth and email. I think it’s more personal that way, coming from the bride/groom/parents.

A cousin persuaded me to announce our engagement via Facebook as a way to send STD using a Facebook event invite. Uh, no thanks.

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