(Closed) Are Sunday weddings selfish?

posted 11 years ago in Reception
  • poll: IS a Sunday wedding a problem?

    Yes, it's selfish and inconsiderate to guests

    No, as long as it is early in the evening

    No, it's about the two of you and sharing your day, and loved ones won't care what time or day it is

    It's not the best choice, but it's acceptable


  • Post # 47
    3124 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2009

    I think that you can choose whatever day you’d like to host a wedding and reception and that people can RSVP no if they feel it’s a problem. For YOUR particular wedding, it makes sense and seems like a nice idea to have a Sunday wedding/dinner for a small group of family. But for those big weddings with the band and DJ and dinner and cocktail hour etc? It’s not a good idea to have it on a Sunday night.  If you wouldn’t normally attend a formal late night event on a work night, the wedding is no different, but you have to go and edit your regular plans / behavior to be sure that you can make it to work the next day , or take a day off. Sunday AFTERNOON sounds a bit more appealing to me. These things said, I wouldn’t hold it against a couple if that’s the night they wanted to have it. I’d just have to decide if we’d be able to go or not, and that’s our issue.

    Post # 48
    1995 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    we’re having a sunday afternoon/evening wedding.  Since 75% of our guests are flying in everyone would have to take off Friday for a Saturday wedding – this way they take off Monday.  Nobody has complained and ours is wrapping up at 9pm too, so the locals can get home at a decent time.  It def. cuts down on alcohol but alas no other savings for us.

    Also I went to a Thursday wedding last month out of town – and I did think that was slightly rude.

    Post # 49
    454 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: February 2011

    we’re having a fairly large 150 guest wedding on a sunday in august (reception starts at 4:30-ends at 9:30 AND we’re having <GASP> dinner + dancing). absolutely nobody has complained about coming yet. in fact our families have shown so much excitement about coming to our wedding we get calls and emails about what to do for the hotel and things to do in the area.

    how on earth do people think it’s selfish?? and inconsiderate?? good lord! stuff happens and everyone can’t have a saturday wedding. places and vendors book up years in advance. we had to pick a sunday because we wanted to get married this summer and got engaged in november and also because we WANTED our family to come so we picked the summer. if people can’t make it to our sunday wedding due to work then they can’t make it. it’s unfortunate, but we totally understand. if locals have to leave early to get home, then that’s what they have to do. 

    i was nervous about our wedding on a sunday at first, but so far a huge majority of our out of town guests are staying sunday night and are excited about it! obviously it’s not as big of a problem as people may judge. 

    Post # 50
    215 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2010

    My wedding will also be on a Sunday night.  I dont feel its being selfish, but I do worry about the babies/kids who will have school the next day.  In all honesty though, this is your special day, and I think people would be (or at least should be) happy to attend your wedding, no matter what the day!

    Post # 51
    2410 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    I don’t think it is selfish at all as long as people have adequate notice to make any necessary arrangements. I am having a Sunday wedding because when I went to look at venues, all Saturdays in my location have been booked until the end of 2011. This leaves me with no choice but to do a Sunday. I am planning a 125 guest formal event. Most of my guests ae coming on from out of town, but even if they weren’t I would love to think that they care enough about my Fiance and I to want to celebrate with us on the date of our choosing regardless of the reasoning behind it.

    Post # 52
    407 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    I don’t think it could ever be selfish to spend thousands of dollars on other people’s food and alcohol consumption. I am having a Sunday wedding, not a holiday weekend and the reception goes until 10pm.  Not only are people excited, but many are also in for the after-party.  Since it’s the summer, people have more flexibility in taking time off from work and many are in fact taking the Monday off.  So far no one has complained though. If people need to leave early because they go to bed by 10pm, then that’s fine.

    Post # 53
    149 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    My wedding is on a sunday and I am very happy with the choice. It didn’t save us much in cost however — the reason we chose sunday is because we get the venue all day as the only wedding. If we chose saturday, we would have to do a day wedding which at 11:30 was way to early for my taste and if we did it at night on saturday, the ceremony wouldn’t start till 6:30….and we are getting married in October for an outdoor ceremony and cocktail hour with indoor reception. For October, it would get dark and cool too soon if we waited till the evening. 

    So since we are the only wedding that day, I get to choose my start time (which is 2:30) and the cocktail hour will be 3-4 and then reception 4-8. I think that is reasonable for guests and I get the transition into evening I had wanted. Plus, the competition for vendors is less!

    If anyone really has a problem with it, they don’t have to go as I see it….people who want to be there WILL be there..regardless. I went to a wedding last year that was a night wedding on a thursday!

    I have not heard one complaint about mine being a Sunday wedding — and a Sunday wedding sounds pretty to me! 🙂

    Post # 54
    2777 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I think it’s rude to think you can’t have a wedding on a particular day of the week! As a guest if I had to go to work early the next day I’d go to the wedding and just leave early. There’s nothing that states you HAVE to wait until the bride and groom leave before you do. 

    Besides, what about Jewish weddings (as a PP said earlier) which are traditionally held on Sundays? What about people who’s jobs mean they work Mon – Sat? FH works a 6 day week and Sunday is the only viable option for us to have our wedding. 

    It’s kind of like saying that getting married during the week is selfish. Regardless of the couple’s situation.

    Post # 55
    6659 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2010

    I don’t think it’s rude, but you can’t be upset when people RSVP ‘no’. In your case, since it’s only 15 people I think you are totally fine. It’s kind of the equivalent of having a family dinner, esp since there is no dancing.

    If you were inviting 200 people, you would probably have a lower acceptance rate and hear some groans. But honestly it’s impossible to please everyone so don’t even get caught up in it!

    Post # 56
    990 posts
    Busy bee

    I might be a little impartial because my wedding and reception is on a Sunday but I dont think it’s selfish. The day ia about the two of you and people wont really care because they’ll be happy to be there with you.

    Post # 57
    642 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    Our wedding is on a Sunday night for several reasons.  First, in Chicago, the amount we can save by holding the wedding on a Sunday is worth it.  We’re saving close to $9000 on our venue/catering alone.  I even got a break from our photo booth company for holding the wedding on a Sunday.  Second, Fiance is European.  ALL of his family is coming from out of the country.  We moved to Chicago a little over a year ago, and most of my family is in Florida. So with the exception of a few local guests, our guest list is all Out of Town.  Because of this, we have events planned for Friday and Saturday nights.  And last, but not least, while we do not practice, our families are both Jewish, and it’s customary for weddings to be held on Sunday.  No one will think we are selfish.  And we’ll be celebrating until 12am at least! On a side note, most of our friends and family have mentioned they plan to make a mini-holiday out of our wedding weekend and explore Chicago.

    I was once invited to a Christmas-time wedding held on a Thursday night.  While I did think it was odd (even though most people were off for the holidays), in no way did I think it was selfish of the couple.  

    I say go with what works best for you and your budget!

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