(Closed) Are thank you notes a thing of the past?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
7892 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

In the past, I have received thank you cards from the newlyweds. I did go to a wedding a few months ago and have not yet received a thank you. Although we are not having a registry, if someone gifts us with something at the wedding, we will surely send a thank you.

Post # 3
Member
203 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

I think it is polite to send thank you notes, but it seems not everyone shares the same thoughts on this. We will certainly be sending them. 

Post # 4
Member
2689 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I just realized, for the wedding I went to 2 years ago, I received nada… I didn’t know thank you notes were a thing back then so it didn’t bother me.

My wedding is in May and I’ve sent 3 thank you notes already for family who has contributed

Post # 5
Member
240 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Sedona Golf Resort

View original reply
cierrabear:  sounds like just bad etiquette. I did thank you post cards and made sure they were all hand written and delivered within 90-days of our wedding. However I have read a couple has up to 1-year to send out think you notes so perhaps you will still get at least 1 in the mail. 

Post # 6
Member
2266 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

View original reply
cierrabear:  Thank you notes are definitely not a thing of the past! (I’m sorry you haven’t received any for your past 4 weddings!)

I never received a thank you note from one couple for a shower gift or a wedding gift and this was years ago. It still sort of irks me to this day.

Post # 7
Member
4499 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I still receive them from people, generally, and I also write them. So they’re not a thing of the past.

But I have a secret… I actually don’t like thank you notes. Sometimes I throw them away without reading them. I know, I know, I’m terrible. I just find them so stilted and awkward-sounding, for the most part. I personally would not mind if formal thank you notes went the way of the dinosaurs, and people just communicated their thanks in a manner that’s more natural for them (like via email or text — anything to help folks sound more natural).

Post # 8
Member
2697 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

Thank you notes are a must. However, I now send checks instead of wrapped gifts because when I don’t get a thank you note I don’t have to worry if they got the present. The cancelled check tells the story…lol

Post # 9
Member
6399 posts
Bee Keeper

View original reply
cierrabear:  I don’t know.  We went to several weddings last year and received one thank you (over a year after the wedding).  I always write thank you notes no matter what the item was for any thing (Christmas, Thanksgiving, birthdays, etc).  We sent a nice gift to someone who’s wedding was 6 months ago, and never once heard a peep if they had received it!  I don’t need the thank you note, but an acknowledgement that the gift was received would have been nice.

Post # 10
Member
431 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2016 - Winery

 

It’s just an embarrassingly common form of bad etiquette. They should be sent within 3 months of the wedding. My sister got married in August and my mom has been sending her daily reminder texts/phone calls to send them out! 

 

I haven’t received any recently, either. The worst is for a destination wedding last January in Disneyland where we spent $1,500+ for airfare and lodging, with my Fiance spending an additional $1,500 for the bachelor party in Cabo! Rude. 

 

Post # 11
Member
648 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I have not received a thank you from any of the 5 weddings we have attended in the last 2 years either. Or the last 2 baby showers (The one I attended she thanked me in person, the other I sent gift with family member and nothing.) I find it rude. We will certainly be sending thank yous if we are so lucky to receive gifts. 

Post # 12
Member
9164 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

We went to quite a few weddings last year and recieved them from all but three couples. These three couples were also the only ones under 30. 

Post # 13
Member
459 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

It is incredibly tacky not to send thank you notes to acknowledge a gift. My fiance and I are young, but we will most certainly send thank you notes. I send them for everything, even when someone takes me out to lunch or something. It is good to meet thoughtfulness with thoughtfulness.

Post # 14
Member
1987 posts
Buzzing bee

View original reply
j_jaye:  I don’t know if this will ease your mind about the State of the Youth at all, but I have received thank yous from all the couples whose weddings I’ve attended over the last two years.  All the brides and grooms were between 22-25 years old (at least one member of each couple was a former student).  I admit that, given what I read about thank yous, or the lack of them, around here, the fact that every single couple has sent a note is a bit of a welcome surprise!  🙂

Post # 15
Member
413 posts
Helper bee

Personally I still do thank you notes no matter what. However like you I have noticed that  thank you notes for ANYTHING are scarce and I find it disappointing. I mean I’ve received a few from events I attended in 2014 but not equal to the amount of baby/wedding/graduation showers/events I have given gifts for. Not that I am mad about it but again I find it slightly disappointing and for lack of a better word tacky that I didn’t receive a thank you from those I contributed to. 

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