(Closed) Are there truly any good men out there or is it women putting up a front?

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
1628 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

You need to leave. This relationship is toxic for you.  Being with a guy who hurts you emotionally and physically and convinces you that all men suck (and therefore you should stick it out with him) is NOT a way to live. YES–there are good men out there. But you’ll never be with one if you stick with this guy.

Post # 4
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

yes there are good men out there but you are being abused.  please seek help and start making plans to leave (squirel money away, find a shelter, ask a friend)

you do not deserve this and your daugther does not deserve to be raised in a home where abuse is acceptable/live in fear and watch her mother get beaten.

goodluck and please reach out to someone

Post # 5
76 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

Good men do exist. A counselor can help you set up boundaries, and know what is crossing the line so you can move on more quickly. 

Post # 9
2819 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

Please leave. I know you said you’re still building up money, but there are shelters that would take you & your child in.

You never know when he might escalate his violence, or turn on your child & try to use them to control you.

Post # 10
2605 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Get out of this relationship now. I don’t care what you did, I don’t care what you said, violence of any kind is not okay. And it sounds violence with this guy is escalating. The next time that you start to make excuses for staying with him (it isn’t really that bad, it’ll get better, I don’t know where to go, I was probably wrong, I’ve given birth to his daughter, etc. etc.) I want you to look at your daughter and imagine that she was you in that situation. Would you allow her to stay with a man who did that to her? Would you tolerate ANY of those excuses if they came out of HER mouth? She is worth respect. YOU are worth respect. 

To answer your question, yes, there are quality men in the world. But–and this is NOT to say that it’s your fault, because it’s NOT–if you seem to have a history of choosing abusers, then maybe it’s time to stop worrying about the next one and instead go to therapy and figure out why you are attracted to men who abuse you. Start there.


Post # 11
1077 posts
Bumble bee

I agree with all the PPs, this is an abusive situation that you need to get out of. Do you have any family or friends that can take you in? There are groups who specialize in helping women in your situation get out and get back on their feet. Please consider contacting one of them.

Post # 12
333 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Good men do exist. Men that respect you and would never hurt you. Unfortunately, a lot of women allow their men to continue toxic behavior which only allows bad situations to get worse. Do you have parents or close friends that you could support you or loan you money? You must seek professional help together, however, it seems better that you end it and leave before your daughter suffers any verbal or physical abuse. Good luck.

Post # 14
2254 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

There are good men out there and even many great men, and you deserve one. You do not deserve to be belittled, abused, and neglected. Four years is a long time to be with someone, but a lifetime is even longer. I hope, if therapy does not repair this relationship, you leave and find someone who restores your faith in men and shows you what a happy relationship can feel like on a permanent basis.

Post # 16
248 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Good men are out there, but you need to focus on taking care of yourself right now. This is abusive behavior and not a healthy situation to be in for you or your daughter. Here is a number for a national hotline that a couple of my family members have used in the past when in a similar situation. They should be able to help 1-800-621-HOPE(4673) or safehorizon.org



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