Are these enough as bridesmaid gifts?

posted 1 year ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 16
Member
116 posts
Blushing bee

I think the gifts sound great. I also dont care  if I am given something to use on your wedding day or that it is the same gift for all women.

When I was a bridesmaid  I got a purse from one bride ( she gave all the bridesmaids the same one) and jewelry  from another. The jewelry  did match our bridesmaids dress and we all wore them on the day. However the set was beautiful and of excellent quality and I wear them to this day. 

Don’t  overthink it.

Post # 17
Member
557 posts
Busy bee

i think these gifts sounds great.  

Post # 21
Member
222 posts
Helper bee

I think this site tends to be more critical then the general population. If I’m in your wedding I don’t expect a gift and would still consider things like makeup and/or nails done or jewelry or a robe for the day of a “gift” and generous. You know your ladies best, don’t overthink it too much 🙂

Post # 22
Member
6000 posts
Bee Keeper

I think they are wonderful gifts! I dont think you need to shop for them individually.

Post # 23
Member
3085 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

View original reply
@Mlim:  Don’t overthink it and don’t overspend. If I was in your wedding party, I would personally love the manicure!! I truly have everything I need so I prefer to be gifted experiences instead of more stuff that I will inevitably donate in 6 months.

Post # 24
Member
2178 posts
Buzzing bee

Do you have any recently married friends in your area that you could ask?  Because expectations do seem to vary quite widely based on culture.

In the UK, it is quite common for the bridesmaid gifts to be all matching, and often something that is used at the wedding – e.g. a pendant chosen to go with the bridesmaids dress and matching robes for getting ready.  When I was a bridesmaid, I got a pendant and my bouquet to take home and that was it.  But in the UK, the bride pays for the bridesmaids dresses (the only exception tends to be if the girls are given a basic style and/or colour pallete and allowed to pick their own dress within that range) whereas I know in other countries, the girls pay for their own dresses even if they don’t get a say in what they wear.

Post # 25
Member
1346 posts
Bumble bee

Your gifts are great and I would be happy to receive them.  Look take what the bees say with a grain of salt. I’ve noticed people are more critical in their responses to your posts than others who ask the same question.

Weddings are NOT Bdays.  You can do individualized gifts if your BMs tastes are wildly different from each other.  But if you know your girls would be happy with manicure, etc then you’re good to go.  

Post # 27
Member
1024 posts
Bumble bee

Yeah I actually disagree that “individual” gifts are best for this case because I think it’s really hard to spend the same amount of money and match quality/thoughtfulness for multiple girls. I wouldn’t feel good if one girl got a gift card or food whereas another girl got pesonal items

I also think the nails are fine because it’ll last a few weeks and isn’t JUST for your wedding. Who doesn’t like having their nails done? Always feels like a special treat to me. Just let your girls know in advance you’re taking them for nails – I would have gotten a gel manicure the week of your wedding so if you didn’t tell me not to. I just wouldn’t dictate a color to make it feel more personal (though I’m sure they’ll get something that matches your wedding colors)

My “rules” for Bridesmaid or Best Man gifts are:

– Nothing with your (the bride) name or date on it

– Nothing that says “bridesmaid” – since that’s effectively useless after the wedding

– At least 1 item that isn’t JUST for the wedding – i.e. a robe is fine but don’t just do the robe

I think a small collection of personal items is fine

Post # 28
Member
9755 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

I think they are nice gifts. I personally am not into silk robes but you know your audience. 

Post # 29
Member
1425 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

Smh at some of these replies.  OP, I’m sure you know the women in your bridal party a little better than the etiquette police who have posted here.  Trust your instincts when it comes to the gifts. 

I have always wanted to have my nails done before any wedding ive attended, much less one where I was actually standing up for a dear friend and I would be quite happy with a gift from the bride to cover that cost.  A robe is always a nice gift, even if I am “required” to wear it for getting ready photos, and the travel jewelry case sounds very thoughtful since you know your girls love both jewelry and travel. 

As to the suggestion that each gift should be personalized, that comes with the risk that someone could feel slighted if their gift where not quite as on the mark as another’s.  I would rather gift the same thing, knowing that it is appropriate for all, than run the risk of hurting someone’s feelings. 

 

Post # 30
Member
3133 posts
Sugar bee

I’m on team “shop like it’s their birthday.’  I just really hate what I call “group gifts”, where everyone receives the same item (or same item but different color).  Part of this may be baggage from growing up with 2 sisters.  We have very different styles but a lot of our relatives and family friends would give us the exact same item on gift-giving occasions, which meant that at least 2 of us wound up receiving something that we didn’t like/that didn’t fit/that wasn’t our taste.  

I also wish that “robes as gifts” would die a fiery death.  Every woman I know has at least 2 good bathrobes that fit her, that are her style preference, and that she picked out. (usually one winter weight one and a summer weight one.  Sometimes a 3rd, sexy one.)  The robes most often given as bridesmaid photo props/gifts are usually poorly made, very thin fabric, and one-size-fits-some.  

Sorry if I sound a little worked up here but I’ve got PMS and didn’t get much sleep last night, and for some reason I’m remembering various weddings where we (bridesmaids) were gifted with robes as photo props to wear during “getting ready” photos and mine didn’t fit.  So I got to be the awkward bridesmaid (38G boobs) who had to wear leggings and a tank top under a robe that wouldn’t fully wrap around my body and I felt so fat and out of place next to the others.

I do think the travel jewely case is a nice idea.  I travel a lot for business (or at least I do when there isn’t a pandemic) and I can always use nice travel makeup bags and jewelry cases!  

Some of the better bridesmaid gifts I’ve received:

-a pair of cashmere socks in my favorite color. This was a winter wedding so made more sense. I LOVE cashmere and I still have these!

-gourmet chocolates

-really pretty hardcarved wooden decorative bowl, it was made by the bride’s father who is a somewhat well know artisan in their area.  

-gift certificate to a speciality store for a hobby of mine.  The hobby can be expensive and while some people may find gift certificates to be impersonal, I love how decadent it feels to shop for and buy something for “free” using a gift card!  I was able to get a much nicer version of something I’d been planning on buying.

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