Are these red flags or not?

posted 5 months ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
871 posts
Busy bee

Sorry, I’m seeing nothing BUT red flags here. Lots of them. 

Post # 3
Member
116 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2020 - North Carolina

Seems like he’s just a player anyways. I wouldn’t want to be in a relationship with a guy who can just go from woman to woman whether in a relationship or not. Then he’s also proven to be a liar too? I know it’s none of her business and he can answer however he likes, but these are things I would be paying attention to. This just sounds like an allover trainwreck and so much drama waiting to happen.

Post # 4
Member
327 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

“When they were dating, they were on and off towards the end. Once, when they broke up for a week, he had a threesome. Which he asked me to not tell her about. “

From what I can tell they’re still on and off and he hooked up with you and doesn’t want her to know about that, either. Sounds like they’re on again to me.

Post # 5
Member
2300 posts
Buzzing bee

coffeebean4444 :  didn’t read past paragraph 3 where she asked him if you made out and he said “no”. he is clearly not over her and is playing you in the process.

no man who has moved on feels the need to look out for an ex’s feelings in any way. back away from this shitstorm now while you’re not too deeply invested.

Post # 6
Member
3296 posts
Sugar bee

Run fast! 

Post # 8
Member
1301 posts
Bumble bee

Sorry but the fact he answered those questions. And lied. Both too much for me. These topics should not be up for discussion.esp with her. 

Post # 9
Member
9692 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

I stopped reading when he was lying about making out/sex with you. First of all, he should have immediately shut it down, telling her it’s none of her business. But even worse than telling her the truth, he lied and diminished his relationship with you. 

This guy is not worth your time.

ETA: Not cheating or being an abusive is the lowest fucking bar. Aim much, much higher. 

Post # 10
Member
459 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2019

I think you’ve gotten yourself in a bit of a mess, because if you’re just making out and have sex and it is nothing serious, I would just leave it like this. It’s not worth it getting into all of this dynamics if you’re not even exclusive.

The other option would be to make it clear that you want to be exclusive and then it’s ok to worry about the things you said. But he has to make his stance clear as well.

So I think the biggest problem is, that it seems that he’s not ready to have a relationship at this moment and this is why he’s not committing exclusively to you, thus all those issues about her knowing, asking etc.

Post # 11
Member
1891 posts
Buzzing bee

That is not a situation you should want to be involved in at all. Also why are you wasting your time on a guy who you couldn’t care less if he sleeps with other girls while your dating him? I know you don’t want to be exclusive but that’s the point. If you really liked him enough, wouldn’t you want exclusivity? 

I’m not a jealous person either but if I like a guy even at the beginning I wouldn’t want him sleeping with other people. 

Also maybe this is just me but I wouldn’t want to be with a guy who did threesomes. Nope. 

Post # 12
Member
614 posts
Busy bee

“…he ignores her unless hes sleeping with her drunk.”

Ummm…. 

 

 

Post # 13
Member
1631 posts
Bumble bee

I mean if you’re looking to have a fwb situation this guy seems fine, but if you’re looking for a boyfriend keep moving. 

Post # 15
Member
3296 posts
Sugar bee

he ignores her unless hes sleeping with her drunk

Pardon my French, but he is an asshole. Why do you want to be with someone like that?

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