Post # 47
That would also annoy the shit outta me.
Post # 48
They are similar, but it is a brand. I don’t think you can really be upset about it. If it was custom, and they made a replica of your one of a kind ring, then I would say what they did was totally wrong. But i am not sure you can fault some one for getting a Verragio too. Everyone has the right to a ring they love, and I think all all regular brands or B&M store rings are fair game.
You said you used to look at it and feel so loved and special. I am not sure how others having it takes away that love or special feeling from your fiance. You can’t stop how you feel, and I get that, but them getting Verragio rings as well does not change that your Fiance bought you what you loved.
The only way to have a truly unique ring, imo, is to custom design it and not let people look too closely.
Post # 49
Well. It sounds to me like you are incredibly upset that your piece of jewely is no longer “unique” enough for you. Perhaps you should remember, as you said, it’s about your “love and relationship and decision to build our lives together.” Not what it looks like.
If it bothers you so much, I highly suggest you buy a new ring, because you might never going to get over two people having a ring so similar to yours. Can you custom create a ring?
My ring came from a chain store. THOUSANDS of women have the same ring as I have. It’s about my commitment to my husband. Not what it looks like.
Post # 50
Even tho I personally wouldn’t care if a family member got a ring similar to mine I totally get why your upset. My ring is from a major chain store but its still different and I don’t think many people wear it as a ering. It’s great to be unique esp. with something so sentimental and that will be apart of your life forever. I think its worse because not only did your aunt buy a very similar ring she flants it in your face with a I’m better then you mentality when she the copycat. I will say I don’t think your cousin could be to blame if she had no ideas or say on how the ring would look. I get the vent and totally roll my eyes at some ppl sttitude towards something you feel strongly about. Just because it’s not a big deal to them doesn’t mean that you have no right feeling the way you do. Your ring is beautiful son’t allow your fam to suck the joy out of this time in your life.
Post # 51
Funny that you suggest having a ring custom made. We actually tried to have my ring custom made, but no jewelers we talked to could make the band as thin as I wanted and have the side detail. I have short fingers so it couldn’t be very thick. We also customized it a little by making it 6 prong instead of 4 and removing the rose gold shoulders so that it fit my vision. If we could have had it custom made, I would have gone that route.
I get that other people in the world have my ring, but my aunt got the same one to be competitive. And even though my cousin knew I was upset when her mom copied my ring, she picked out a very similar one too and she knew it! It was underhanded. So now instead of feeling loved and special when I look at my ring, I feel betrayed by my competitve/crazy/copycat family.
Also, a LOT of people care what their ring looks like, that’s why we have a ring board! sheesh!
Thank you! I appreciate you validating my feelings- it has been a very upsetting situation. But I shouldn’t let them make me sad during such a happy time!
Post # 52
Some people are one-uppers. :/ Suckssss.
Post # 53
I have talked with no less than 12 different highly recommended jewelers/goldsmiths locally and all over the country since May of last year until finally finding THE one who understands what I want, is communicative, and is able to help turn my vision into something that is going to be beautiful and truly one of a kind. It just takes patience and determination, and money of course.
We all make choices in how bad we really want something. You or your fiancé obviously weren’t willing to keep looking for the right goldsmith or unable/unwilling to pay more for what you wanted, so you bought “off the rack” with some mods, which is fine. But, you don’t own the rights to your ring – Verragio does, and they are in biz to make money, of which your aunt and cousin’s fiancé clearly also had.
You can either keep letting this “betrayal” by your family rain on your engagement parade, or you can put on your big girl panties, and remember what you love about YOUR ring, why YOU chose it, control that which you can, and quit losing sleep over the uncontrollable actions of others. Just remember – holding a grudge is letting your aunt and cousin live rent-free in your head. Sounds like they are getting quite comfy in there.
Post # 54
I’m glad you found someone who could make what you wanted. I realize it takes patience and determination- it took us almost a year to find my ring. It’s not like I settled for it or anything- I LOVED everything about it once they said they could make the changes I wanted. It was my dream ring, my forever ring.
And my cousin’s fiance had to finance the whole ring- it is not in the price range he could afford at all. Whereas my fiance saved and paid for my ring in cash. I just don’t think you should buy a ring you can’t afford, though I realize some people may disagree.
I see where you are coming from and it is good advice. I don’t plan on holding a grudge though. This literally happened yesterday and I wanted to vent and work through my 5 stages of grief (I did the same thing when I aunt pulled this trick- I am a highly sensitive person so I have to cry these things out). I also spoke to my grandmother about it and that helped (we are very close). She said I should feel sorry for my cousin as she is insecure with her own taste and couldn’t find her own ring so she just copied mine. Multiple mutual friends recognized that she copied it- and that was vindicating a bit. Now moving forward, I am just trying to focus on what I can control and see what I can do to make sure we don’t have identical wedding bands (the matching wedding bands for our rings are identical). We ordered mine weekend before last so I am not sure if it is too late to cancel it and order a different one- hopefully that works out!
Post # 55
For what it’s worth, all Verragio’s tend to look the same to me!
Post # 56
So on the one hand, I get where you’re coming from, you searched high and low for your dream ring, the ring that was perfect for YOU, and while it wasn’t totally custom, it’s not like it was something classic or trendy that someone in your area paying attention to rings would see on a regular basis. My ring isn’t custom, but it’s an uncommon design and I’d be a bit disappointed if it became popular. And seriously weirded out if my aunt & cousin got very similar rings.
But on the other hand, I think you need to embrace your perfect ring, and train yourself not to think of anyone but you and your Fiance when you look at it! The amount of sparkle, the thin, classic top-view, the six prongs, the detailed side view, and the Parisian influence are all so perfectly YOU. It’s sad that two of your family members decided to emulate you instead of embracing their own identities. But you need to let go of the malice. Try not to worry too much about the wedding band; personally I’m getting a not-at-all unique, dainty eternity band, and it’s wonderful because it’s really just a sparkly reminder that I found the man of my dreams, and he wants to spend the rest of his life with me. Bitches be cray, but your rings are about YOU, and like a PP said, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.
Post # 57
“And my cousin’s fiance had to finance the whole ring- it is not in the price range he could afford at all. Whereas my fiance saved and paid for my ring in cash. I just don’t think you should buy a ring you can’t afford, though I realize some people may disagree.”
He can afford the payments, and that’s all that matters. I could have paid cash for my new car I just bought in September, but I opted to finance half the purchase price for a number of reasons. I am not a big fan of financing “non-essential” purchases either, but it’s not my business how someone else spends their money, and it’s really not yours either.
Seriously, evict the freeloaders from your head.
Agreed! They all seem to have some common thread of design, though I do confuse them & Tacori a lot.
Post # 58
I totally get what you are saying, and it isn’t any of my business. But I totally get financing things- I financed my car (paid off now), and I use credit cards for big purchases and try to pay them off every month but it doesn’t always happen. I just know him really well (and his financial situation) and I don’t think he can afford it. He lives with his parents, is struggling with credit card debt/ skipping minimum payments, almost had his car taken away because he was behind payments, and he doesn’t get regular paychecks because his work is construction-related so sometimes he goes a couple weeks without working. In that situation, I feel like dropping 2-3K on a ring setting isn’t very responsible. Maybe that’s me just being judgmental and I am wrong and he can afford the payments. It’s not my job to worry about it and it is none of my business.
Thanks for all of your good advice in all your replies- I really appreciate it. It was a hurtful situation, but I need to move forward. I am going to try to push all this negativity out of my head and focus on happier things.
Thanks for your thoughtful post- I do need to let it go. I was was angry, then sad, and today I am numb to it. I know I am a very sensitive person, so I think I needed to work through it and have a little time, but today I went on a long run outside and I am choosing to be positive and happy. I got the photos and cards out of a box from when Fiance and I got engaged to remind myself of how special and fabulous it was (we flew to Cancun, he gave me cards throughout our trip about the history of our relationship, sent me to the spa for a mani, bought a dress for me to wear, picked me up in a horse and carriage, proposed, had a photographer do a photo session with us on the beach, and arranged a private 5 course dinner to celebrate) and it cheered me up a LOT. Definitely reminded me how very loved and lucky I am. THAT is what I want to remember when I look at my ring.