(Closed) are they ignorant, or just plain rude?

posted 4 years ago in Family
  • poll:
  • Post # 2
    53 posts
    Worker bee

    I’m not sure what the proper form is on how to address specific guests, but it is pretty rude to use Ms. when you’ve gone through all the trouble to achieve that Dr. title. 

    Post # 3
    1282 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    I would say whoever addressed the invitations does not know proper etiquette of addressing people with their titles. I don’t know what military etiquette would be for addressing your Fiance, but I find it really weird that it would occur to someone to write Ms. (Name), MD. instead of Dr. (Name) 

    At least they acknowledged your degree by adding in the MD, though, so it doesn’t seem like they have any problem with a woman being a doctor . . . I could see how one might think that if they just used Ms. Name with no MD or Dr. Sounds like they just didn’t know what the correct way should be?

    Post # 4
    2457 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    At least you got an invitation. Try not to take it so personally.

    Post # 5
    2290 posts
    Buzzing bee

    It sounds like ignorance.

    It doesn’t seem to me that they have a problem with you being a doctor. They probably just don’t know that much about how to properly use titles. 

    Post # 6
    1003 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2014

    I just don’t think they know how to properly address, like pp’s have said.  Also, it’s pretty normal for parents of the groom not to be mentioned on the invitation, traditionally speaking parents of the bride are only mentioned.  I wouldn’t get too upset over this, I don’t think this was a blatant slap to the face more of an etiquette faux pas.

    Post # 7
    1245 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2014 - San Francisco, CA

    It’s not a big deal in the long run, but I definitely see why it’s annoying! I would be a little vexed, too.

    Post # 8
    982 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    DrMrsCol:  They probably just weren’t aware of how to properly address invitations, as other PPs have said.  Your fiance’s rank and your title should both have been acknowledged on the envelope, but I wouldn’t get too upset over it.  I would like to assume the best and that it was only a faux pas, not intentional.

    Post # 9
    1725 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2014 - 13th ~ TN

    DrMrsCol:  Maybe the person adressing them was ignorant to how the invitation should be addressed. Really a small thing in the grand scheme of things, right?

    Post # 10
    3281 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    Not everyone is well versed in etiquette. Although I sympathize with your feelings, I believe that you are blowing this out of proportion. 

    Post # 11
    4518 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    Why is everyone making excuses for them? How can *anyone* not know that you address a doctor as “Dr.”? This is subtle sexism, folks, and it’s not ok. Period.

    Ms. [your name], MD is just inexcusable. Can anyone imagine ever wseeing “Mr. Somebody, MD” instead of “Dr. Somebody?” No? I rest my case. 

    OP, I’m right there with you! This would privately annoy the heck out of me. 

    Post # 12
    2566 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    DrMrsCol:  He’s paying half and they didn’t mention him hosting?  Yeah that’s kind of icky.  There were a few invitation styles I really liked that couldn’t accommodate my parents hosting so I chose different ones, gotta give credit where it’s due.

    I think Ms. Lastname, MD is generally dangerous, as plenty of medical doctors have DO degrees.  Unless they’ve checked the creds of all their doctor friends they’re likely to make some mistakes.  Don’t sweat it though, it sounds like they’re just clueless about addressing invites.

    Post # 13
    1048 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    In terms of titles for doctors, the only reason I can think of for calling someone Mr/Ms is if they’re a surgeon – in Ireland and presumably in the UK consultant surgeons are usually called Mr/Ms/Miss – it’s a historical throwback to when surgical and physician training was separate. But clearly that’s not the case here. 



    I can can see why it’s annoying, but it’s really not worth getting too worked up over. But I’m guessing from how annoyed you are that this is possibly part of a pattern of behaviour. 


    I must say, say, I find the idea of putting degree letters on a invitation a bit odd anyway. I mean does anyone really know the degrees of every one of their guests. Plus it can get a bit silly when people have multiple degrees- i can’t imagine getting an invite addressed to Dr Aliciaspinnet MB BCh BAO BA MRCPUK!

    • This reply was modified 4 years, 4 months ago by  .

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