(Closed) Are we awful for this? My head is spinning.

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
2493 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I have invited one cousin as he is the only one I see on a regular basis (all the rest are a lot older than me and have children and grandchildren of their own). I reckon a lot of my cousins I could walk past and not realise. 

 

I say invite who you want….it’s your wedding!

Post # 4
Member
2376 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

We’re having a small wedding too.  My family is teeny, so I’m inviting my 2 sisters & their husbands, 2 pairs of aunts & uncles, 5 pairs of cousins (at least 2 won’t show, guaranteed).  His family is HUGE though, and he’s not inviting any cousins but 1, and that’s only because they were close growing up, and he went to this cousin’s wedding.  He’s not particularly fond of the rest of them, so they’re not invited.

Post # 6
Member
4416 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I invited all my first cousins except for the two that are in their teens. It didn’t even occur to me to invite them — they are not of drinking age and therefore wouldn’t have been appropriate at our winery wedding! (because teenage boys would I’M SURE have been sneaking booze from the bar anyway — bad bad!). You are not obligated to invite the additional cousins, and if you want to avoid any drama you can just make a rule of “no one under 21 allowed” or something, so you’re all set with an answer if anyone asks!

Post # 7
Member
6256 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2014

How late is the event going to run? Are there going to be things there for teenagers to do (besides get in trouble?)

Are you only inviting up to your venue’s capacity, or are you already inviting more?

Post # 9
Member
3943 posts
Honey bee

I only invited 2 of my cousins. I dont have a relationship with the others and havent talked to them in years.

Post # 10
Member
6256 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2014

@O.My.Heart:  Is there any way they can go on a B-list? As in, once regrets start coming in (and I’ve never heard of anyone not having SOME), can you maybe let them come if there’s room?

Hopefully they can keep themselves busy, and if they’re good kids they probably can, but it may seem like a slight to your uncle if you don’t let the kids come and then there are several empty chairs.

Post # 11
Member
3265 posts
Sugar bee

@O.My.Heart:  Level of closeness is just as valid as blood line level.

The only etiquette rule when selecting who must be invited, is that social units must be invited together.  Other then that you are free to invite or not invite as you see fit.

Post # 13
Member
561 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

Just tell your uncle that although you’d love for everyone to be able to come, that your venue is very strict about the amount of guests, and you’ll already be full to capacity. If you want, you can tell him that if anyone declines, you’ll be sure to let him know. It also might not hurt to point out that you haven’t invited cousins from your dad’s side either, just because of venue restrictions, and that you have no intention of making his children feel singled out.

Post # 14
Member
2515 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

@O.My.Heart:  social units are couples not entire families. so bf/gf, bf/bf, gf/gf, married couples and engaged couples.

Post # 15
Member
3265 posts
Sugar bee

@O.My.Heart:  Social units are married, engaged and living together couples.

Post # 16
Member
1218 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

No, I don’t think you have to invite them all – I’m inviting two (one is my MOH) but I have seventeen cousins so there’s no way they could all come! Invite the ones you’re close to, and if anyone debates it, mention the space restrictions of your venue and stress that people from *both* sides were unable to attend so they don’t feel slighted.

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