Post # 1
So far we’ve allowed our wedding party to just pick their own suits and I just ordered convertible dresses for the girls, but other then that, they’ve done pretty much nothing and I have no idea what anyone should be doing, leading up to the wedding in 8 months.
My partner and I want our wedding party to enjoy the day so we’ve even allowed them to sit with their own partners. Meaning there is no wedding party table. We’ll just sit with the groom’s immediate family.
The bridesmaid who volunteered to do my hens night suddenly planning a trip leading up to my wedding. So all the bridesmaids are trying to make the Hens Night 4 months before the wedding just so the 1 bridesmaids can go too. I don’t think there’s a point to having a Hens so early?
Now the girls are freaking out about giving the speech …so much so that the matron-of-honour has blackmailed the maid-of-honour into doing the speech together. I find that a little sad really, so I rather they not stand there with stage fright on the day…adding to that the best man is not the best at doing speeches. So hubby-to-be and I are contemplating letting everyone off the hook and to just do a game session with the entire wedding party at the reception.
Has anyone ever eliminated most of the custom duties of their wedding party on the day and just let them be? Considering we’ll be paying for everything (hair, makeup, dresses, tux hire, transportations), I do feel they should carry out some duties else whats the point of a wedding party? However I’ve had a lot of reluctance in most things which has started to make me feel a little exasperated and just letting them be. Opinions?
Post # 3
We paid for everything for our bridal party – the guys chose the colour of ties etc and the girls chose their dresses, shoes and hair and makeup styles. I believe a bridal parties ‘duty’ is simply to stand next to you on the day. We also chose no speeches for our wedding but one best man still wanted to give one. Darling Husband and i had a rehearsal the week before, just us. So we didn’t ask anything of them, except be there on the day. And IMO that’s all they had to do.
Post # 4
Our bridal party isn’t doing much either, but that’s ok and kind of how I wanted it. I’m not having a shower, this is my second wedding and we have everything we need. They are spread out all over the place…NY, FL, CA, ND, HI. Its impossible to get together for anything ahead of time. FI’s groomsmen are planning his bachelor party. Judging by the fact that you call it a hen’s night, I’m supposing you don’t live in the US 🙂 But here, a lot of people due their parties months before. In fact, Fiance is having his 7 months before, because of time constraints. I think the amount of responsibility given to your girls is your choice. I’m pretty much giving mine none, but that was my choice. I just want them to be with us on your big day, and stand up as the closest people in our lives.
Post # 5
My Maid/Matron of Honor doesn’t have the financial ability to host any parties and my other girls are way too little; I picked out the dresses and tuxes and they paid for them.
I will say I’m disappointed in my Maid/Matron of Honor because she didn’t have to host anything but she always RSVP’s yes to the pre-wedding parties and then doesn’t show up or shows up hours late when just about everything is over. That’s a different story though..
I say if there’s a detail that’s important to you – take charge and let them know your expectations. For example – if it’s important to you that they wear a specific color, give them a swatch of the fabric and let them choose.
And about the speech thing – plenty of people are gun shy about speaking in front of a group. I wouldn’t give them a hard time about it…
Post # 6
I think its fine to have your hens night early so everyone can attend.
I will probably will dispense with most wedding duties just because I hate asking for help. I wouldn’t have speeches because I myself have horrid stage freight and would never ever wish that on anyone. I would buy Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses/ties, hair and makep. Luckily everyone just bought a balck suit for another family wedding so they can wear those.
Post # 7
I think you should go with the flow of the hens night. I think it’s really sweet that they’re doing whatever they can to include the other one and this would be a silly battle. For the speeches, if the MOH’s know each other pretty well, it could be kinda cute that they’re doing the speech together. You could also eliminate speeches altogether and if folks feel like saying something, they can certainly do so.
I think you have the right attitude and should just keep doing what you’re doing, but just make sure you communicate with your bridal party and it’s all good. 🙂