(Closed) Are we being too relaxed on our wedding party about the usual duties?

posted 6 years ago in Traditions
Post # 3
363 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

We paid for everything for our bridal party – the guys chose the colour of ties etc and the girls chose their dresses, shoes and hair and makeup styles. I believe a bridal parties ‘duty’ is simply to stand next to you on the day. We also chose no speeches for our wedding but one best man still wanted to give one. Darling Husband and i had a rehearsal the week before, just us. So we didn’t ask anything of them, except be there on the day. And IMO that’s all they had to do. 

Post # 4
1523 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Our bridal party isn’t doing much either, but that’s ok and kind of how I wanted it. I’m not having a shower, this is my second wedding and we have everything we need. They are spread out all over the place…NY, FL, CA, ND, HI. Its impossible to get together for anything ahead of time. FI’s groomsmen are planning his bachelor party. Judging by the fact that you call it a hen’s night, I’m supposing you don’t live in the US 🙂 But here, a lot of people due their parties months before. In fact, Fiance is having his 7 months before, because of time constraints. I think the amount of responsibility given to your girls is your choice. I’m pretty much giving mine none, but that was my choice. I just want them to be with us on your big day, and stand up as the closest people in our lives.

Post # 5
190 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

My Maid/Matron of Honor doesn’t have the financial ability to host any parties and my other girls are way too little; I picked out the dresses and tuxes and they paid for them.

I will say I’m disappointed in my Maid/Matron of Honor because she didn’t have to host anything but she always RSVP’s yes to the pre-wedding parties and then doesn’t show up or shows up hours late when just about everything is over. That’s a different story though..

I say if there’s a detail that’s important to you – take charge and let them know your expectations. For example – if it’s important to you that they wear a specific color, give them a swatch of the fabric and let them choose.

And about the speech thing – plenty of people are gun shy about speaking in front of a group. I wouldn’t give them a hard time about it…

Post # 6
4046 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I think its fine to have your hens night early so everyone can attend.

I will probably will dispense with most wedding duties just because I hate asking for help. I wouldn’t have speeches because I myself have horrid stage freight and would never ever wish that on anyone. I would buy Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses/ties, hair and makep. Luckily everyone just bought a balck suit for another family wedding so they can wear those.

Post # 7
3583 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I think you should go with the flow of the hens night.  I think it’s really sweet that they’re doing whatever they can to include the other one and this would be a silly battle.  For the speeches, if the MOH’s know each other pretty well, it could be kinda cute that they’re doing the speech together.  You could also eliminate speeches altogether and if folks feel like saying something, they can certainly do so.

I think you have the right attitude and should just keep doing what you’re doing, but just make sure you communicate with your bridal party and it’s all good.  🙂

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