Post # 1
I write with a heavy heart today. I have been sort of realizing this for awhile, but it appears as though my best friend (and MOH) are drifting apart! This makes me so sad. For the past year or so, it has been progressively more difficult to get together with her – she is always too busy, or cancels plans at the last minute. I have noticed I am the only one trying to make plans with the other (I swear if it wasn’t for Facebook I would never talk to her). I call just to talk, but she rarely calls me unless it is to return a voicemail I left her. We used to talk all the time!
I don’t know what happened 🙁 To make matters worse, she is supposed to be my Maid/Matron of Honor. I want my best friend by my side of course, but I feel sad that things seem to be headed in this direction! Does anyone have any suggestions for how I can repair this friendship?
Thanks for the support everyone!
Post # 3
How long have you known each other? Growing apart happens a lot in friendships. But if you really are close and have a shared history, you’ll end up close again.
Post # 4
my best friend and i can go months and months without talking to each other and when we do, we pick up right where we left off – we understand eachother is busy with new priorities in our lives (she became a mum last year and i became a wife this year) so we dont hold any grudges or look to create any friction – we just acknowlege that its been a while, we’ve been busy so lets start catching up
it happens, people get busy, new events, new priorities and people can drift apart but that doesnt mean you arent friends. maybe you can reach out for her with a nice card saying i know we have been busy but i think about you all the time and think about the great fun we’ve shared and looking forward to that continuing, she might not even realize that you are feeling this way
Post # 5
I would just ask your friend what’s going on. Maybe she’s been really busy lately and doesn’t realize she hasn’t been making time for you. I have a major problem with this, but usually a gentle reminder that my friends miss me is enough to kick my emailing/calling back into high gear! Or maybe your friends is having some issues/problems and is pulling away. You won’t really know if her distance is something to be worried about unless you ask. Good luck! 🙂 I’m sure things will be fine.
Post # 6
Give it some time. Don’t write her off. Sometimes friendships have rough patches. She means a lot to you. Give her the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps tell her that you miss and wish you guys could find more time to spend together. Ask her if anything is up that accounts for the difficulty in getting together and see if there’s something you could improve? Also- keep in mind that sometimes brides get wedding-centric and that can be hard on their friends. Make sure you’re letting her talk about what’s going on in her life- not just wedding plans.
Post # 7
I agree that you should talk to your friend and try to figure out what’s going on with her. She probably doesn’t realize that she’s been a little distant lately. My best friend (and MOH) don’t talk very often at all. We can go months and months and months without talking to each other but the next time we see each other/talk to each other we pick up where we left off. I hate the phone so I am like that with a lot of my friends, especially since I live about 6 hours from most of them so unless we see each other on a regular basis, I don’t talk to many of my friends very often. But I have known most of my friends for many many years so they know how I am and are okay with it.
Post # 8
Thanks for the posts and support everyone!
I am not ready to give up on her just yet 🙂 I guess I was just having a day where I missed her a lot. I know her schedule is super busy (as is mine). But we do pick up right where we left off when we DO get together 🙂
I definitely try not to be wedding centric – I know this can drive people nuts! I like one poster’s comment about the card – just a little something to show I miss her.
I think we will be okay – perhaps its just a rough patch, like some have suggested. I will also talk to her to make sure we are on the same page.
Post # 9
I hope this goes well for you. I can relate a little bit on the other end of a friendship with my bestie. After I got engaged, it was just a little hard to relate to her, and we spent less time together than we had before. I knew I was moving acorss the country after my wedding, so I just really wanted to spend time with my family, and I was kind of a homebody9not normally just for the few months before the wedding). It wasn’t because I loved her less, or something happened between us–it was just a phase in our friendship. Now we live 2000 miles apart, but we still keep in touch regularly. Don’t give up, but be patient and don’t assume something is wrong. It’s likely just a season!
Post # 10
Hey everyone! Just wanted to give an update. My friend and I talked, and we had a loooooooong conversation. She realized that we hadn’t been spending as much time together, and explained why she had been unavailable (which helped a lot). The point is we both realized this is just the evolution of our friendship based on LIFE (busy work schedules, family committments), and it doesn’t mean we care about each other any less. I was so happy we were able to work things out. Thanks for all your helpful comments 🙂
Post # 11
yay! i am so happy it worked out for you 🙂