(Closed) are we NOT supposed to invite out of town people to the shower??

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
5118 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@dynamic_duo: I hadn’t heard this either. Since I have traveled so much/lived so many places, there’s no getting around inviting ‘out of towners,’ since I think there are only about 5 or so female guests that live in my current town. Only one of my Bridal Party even lives in the same town as me. 

I agree with sending them an invitation just to show they’re invited and wanted. I wouldn’t expect a present via mail or anything, but I know it’s nice to be thought of even if it’s unlikely that you’ll make it to an event. Just my $.02. 🙂

Post # 4
4137 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

i agree with that. unless they’re a close driving distance or you think they might actually travel for the shower, it looks like a gift grab to me.

Post # 5
1120 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

I know it’s not exactly the same thing, but I was once invited to a baby shower that was being held in another country. It totally felt like a gift grab to me and I was a little annoyed at receiving an inviation to something that the sender knew I wouldn’t be able to come to.

Post # 6
6015 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

I received an invatitation to a bridal shower in california, cause it was a cousin getting married, and I wasn’t invited to the wedding.  It felt like a total gift grab, i’m on the other side of the US.

Post # 7
916 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I have heard it either way.  My mom wanted to invite everyone to my shower, but since most of my friends are in grad school with limited budgets, I knew they wouldn’t travel, so I asked her not to invite them.  If you know that there is no way someone will come, to send them an invite does look like you just want a gift.  Obviously, it is too late to take back invitations, but if you are talking to any of your invitees, you could casually mention that you really don’t expect anything, you just wanted to extend the courtesy.  

Post # 8
4485 posts
Honey bee

No clue where that idea came from but it’s absolutely wrong. You can invite whomever you choose, regardless of where they live.

Post # 9
7695 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

I heard this too. My mom told me this when I invited my aunt who lives a plane ride away to my shower. I told my mom I did not expect my aunt to give me a gift I just wanted her to know that I wanted her to be there to celebrate. She ended up not coming and sending a gift but I did not mean for it to be a gift grab!

Post # 10
5786 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2011

Isn’t the entire point of a shower to be a gift grab? I’m torn on this, but I’m fairly certain we’ll send invites to some out of towners just so they feel included. I definitely do not expect them to send gifts if they do not attend.

Post # 12
279 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I just went with the traditional “If you’re a woman, and I personally know you and you’re invited to the wedding, then you’re invited to the shower.”

The topic ‘are we NOT supposed to invite out of town people to the shower??’ is closed to new replies.

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