Are we the only married couple who DOESN'T have a joint bank account?!

posted 6 years ago in Money
Post # 33
Member
1896 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@ThinkingOutLoud:  We don’t.  Neither one of us really wants a joint account and since we have to file our taxes separatley (if not we get hit with a huge bill and a student loan nightmare) we’re going to stay that way.

Post # 34
Member
30 posts
Newbee

@angeluscado:  That’s our issue, we both like the banks we’re with and don’t know if either of us wants to change.

Post # 35
Member
9951 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

To @ThinkingOutLoud:  you said earlier in this topic that he makes more than you in income… and now you’ve said this to me in Reply # 31

God forbid we ever divorce but if we do, I know that he would already get more than I do. (He purchases big items I don’t necessarily agree with buying. I wouldn’t really care to have them anyway since I don’t pay for ANY of it…for example a nice tv.)

And how is that fair.  That in an Divorce that he’d get more than you considering he already has more to begin with…

WHERE is the 50-50 Division of assets in that thinking ?

And sure you might not miss the Tv per se, but you might miss other things that you have grown accustomed to over the course of a long term marriage… a lifestyle that you’ve had for say 5, 10, or 20+ years

IT SUCKS to one day have much, and the next day have not just less… BUT A LOT LESS

Not just Physical Property / Assets… but also CASH Money and other things.

Especially so if the other partner isn’t suffering the same as you in financial circumstances !!

Divorce is UGLY… I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy… but it does happen.

Women need to think about that as a real possibility… because it isn’t always US that initiates it…

I have seen my share of GFs who were working hard, raising kids, and thinking things were tickety-boo… only one day to wake up and find out their guy said “I want a Divorce” and there is literally NOTHING YOU CAN DO when that is presented to you.  NOT A DAMN THING

It is not a choice… you don’t get to decide.  The person who utters those words has all the control.

One minute you are a Married Couple… next minute you are a Seperated Couple.  Period.

If you don’t protect yourself financially thru having access to ALL the money 50-50 that comes into a Marriage from Day One… then that means the higher wage earner has the majority control.  And you cannot just easily access it.

The courts can ensure you get 50% of the Marital Home… and The Law “may say” you are entitled to 50% of other assets such as Investments, Retirement Plans, Pension Plans, Cash etc.

BUT Divorce brings out the worst in people… and if your Spouse decides to cut you out… make these things “disappear” then that is what they will do.

You cannot get money out of thin air… if it doesn’t exist or cannot be found… then it is gone.  You won’t see it EVER

Don’t be too trusting even of your Spouse.  As women we tend to be too trusting.

Set up your Financials so things truly are 50-50 and fair right from the get go.

Hope this helps,


Post # 36
Member
2587 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - UK

@ThinkingOutLoud:  We’re not married yet, but certainly aren’t planning on having a joint account! We have joint savings, but that’s it.

Post # 37
Member
1048 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Fiance and I at present have a joint account that we each put an equal sum into each month which we use for any joint expenses (bills, rent, groceries, eating out etc, and we both have separate accounts which we use for personal stuff. This suits us at the moment, and to be honest I like being able to spend my own money with having to consider his opinion (I’m not exactly frivolous with my money, but I do like to get nice clothes and make up from time to time). Our basic salaries are exactly the same so thats not an issue. 

 

In the next year or two we’ll likely be looking at starting a family, and I’ll probably give up work for a few years to stay at home. In this case our system will have to completely change. We haven’t discussed it yet, but my current thoughts are that his salary would go into our joint account, and from there we’ll have an equal allowance paid monthly to our seperate accounts that we can use for “me stuff”. 

Post # 38
Member
26 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2013

We do not have a joint account. I’d prefer it be this way. We dont have kids yet and I like to spend money on personal things without feeling gulity about it. He pays the mortgage and some of the bills, but I still contribute to the bills, plus everyday expenses such as grocery shopping. 

 

I dont like to think of everything as 50/50. Some months he pays more, some months I pay more. We just bought a new home and are furnishing it, which is very expensive. We both contribute to our expenses and we are both responsible with our money.

 

We did open a joint savings with the money we received from our wedding, we are just sitting on it for now.

Post # 39
Member
3464 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

SO and I already have one joint account and once we marry we’ll be joining all of our accounts together and sharing the money. We plan on living off one salary and saving the other so we have to share money to employ this strategy. Thankfully, Money is money. We don’t fight over it we just figure out how to manage it best. We’re both frugal so we don’t have issues. you have to do what works for you though and if keeping things seperate is what you need to do than do it.

Post # 40
Member
447 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

We don’t have a joint account, primarily just because we haven’t gotten around to combining yet. We’re completely transparent with our finances, there just was no compelling urgency to make a special trip to the bank and combine everything. We do plan to combine everything eventually.

Post # 41
Member
1285 posts
Bumble bee

We aren’t married yet, but we just put ours together.  Paying bills is SOOO much easier for us now. He would transfer a certain amount into my account each month.  Now he doesnt have to do that. We just share what is in the account. I make way more than he does.  It just made things easier for us this way. Especially when he comes to me and asks if he can use my card to put gas in his vehicle to last until he gets paid. He doesn’t have to do that now.

Post # 42
Member
141 posts
Blushing bee

I really would like a joint bank account. What’s mine is yours, is my thinking. However…I also only have a part time job whereas he makes literally 4 -5 times as much as I do. So it would definitely feel like a mooching situation. I am on the hunt for a permanent full-time position, and once that happens, I think he will be more open to the idea of sharing the bank account.

We aren’t actually married yet, but I feel like there will be awkward times when a joint account would make things easier. Like, buying new furniture. It sounds so bad for me to say “Well, you have to buy the new couch because you make more money.” When I would rather just say “Let’s go get a new couch with *our* money.” We also own two cats, so deciding who pays the vet bills is tough too. Again, so do I pay because they are technically my cats (even though he sees them as his as well)? It would be easier if we could just take them to the vet and pay the bill with money from *our* acount.

I don’t know. I just feel like once the money is mixed, it doesn’t make a difference who makes more so long as we are both contributing what we can to the same pot. Gah, having a real job would make it so much easier!

Post # 43
Member
1837 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

we don’t. we intend to at some point but haven’t yet.

Post # 44
Member
6107 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

We have a joint account. Honestly, I was just tired of having to write him checks for bills and stuff so I was thrilled to throw it all in one pot and never have to do that again. I don’t really see the point in having seperate accounts. I don’t have anything to hide and neither does he. We also wouldn’t deny each other things we want. All we did was agree to discuss large purchases with each other. I just see marriage as a joining of 2 lives. Having seperate accounts and what not is just too much like being roommates.

Post # 45
Member
2103 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

We have seperate accounts and a joint account, but joint is only for shared household items, like toilet paper, home repairs/updates, or eating out. Otherwise, everything is seperate. He pays all the bills, I match that into our joint account, so it acts as sort of a savings account for us. We are saving to remodel the bathroom right now.

Post # 46
Member
1366 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

To each their own. We have a few:

1. joint checking account for bills and household expenses which can cover the mundane (laundry) and the fun (getting a cool piece of art framed, a new TV etc.  We put an equal amount in there and it’s basically a vehicle to transfer $ on a monthly basis.

2. A joint savings account which we opened because some of our friends/family gave us $ for our wedding. We’ll eventually put more in there but for now, I just forget about it.

3. Separate checking and savings accounts which are for personal expenditures and social stuff e.g. when it comes to restaurants we often split the bill down the middle and I’m sure some other married couples think we’re nuts.

Do what works for you.

 

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