Are weddings worth the money??

posted 2 years ago in Engagement
Post # 2
Member
653 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

Coco Brown Walker :  It’s worth it to me as a right of passage.  I’m at a point in my life where I would like to do so, and we can afford to do it.   I love weddings. But I mean we bought a house first, waiting for our careers to be established.  There is alos a fair amount of family pressure, mom mom would be crushed if I didn’t have one.  If I couldn’t afford to do it though, I would elope, or just have a picnic or something after going to a courthouse. 

Post # 3
Member
669 posts
Busy bee

Well… if we compare how much inflation there has been… No. 

I think that vendors and anything bridal have taken advantage of the market. Weddings have gotten much more elaborate meaning more demands. Look back 30 years. My parents did not have engagement photo sessions (just a simple photo from Olan Mills). No DJ. No save the dates (one invite sufficed). Etc etc. 

It’s smart for the people to raise the roof on prices… but sucks for those wanting elaborate.

Post # 4
Member
862 posts
Busy bee

He wanted the wedding, I wanted the marriage. It was alot of money but we could afford it. I don’t regret it even though I didn’t want a big wedding. He was very happy, I had alot of fun, and it was pretty awesome seeing my family all in one place. It was especially good for my family since we had a very shitty year with few reasons to celebrate

Post # 5
Member
6860 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Our wedding was great, but damn, I’d proabably rather have that $30k back haha. 

Post # 6
Member
2183 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

We eloped. We had no desire to spend huge amounts of money on a wedding. I’ve never been someone who wanted a big wedding. We are older and had been together for quite a while. I went to a wedding this weekend which was large and a lot of fun. Some people want to host a big party. It is up to the couple what is important to them. 

Post # 7
Member
1606 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

Our wedding was about $60k (Canadian, which is about $46k USD). My parents helped us out a lot because there were a bunch of things they wanted to splurge on (like our $18k catering bill which I never want to think about again!).

To me, it was worth it. My husband and my parents also think so. It was such a beautiful and perfect day. Our food was amazing. Our photos are amazing. Our officiant was amazing. There’s not one thing we spent money on that I regret (except for our invitations, but that’s a whole other story). I would spend the money on the whole wedding again.

Im not saying that having a cheaper wedding or eloping is bad, and I’m sure those also turn out to be wonderful and perfect days as well. But for us, the big expensive wedding was worth every penny.

Post # 8
Member
9213 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

to some they are, to some they aren’t. no one is forcing you to spend the money if you don’t want to.

Post # 9
Member
2517 posts
Sugar bee

I used to feel this way, that I couldn’t understand spending that much money on one day. Now, however, I’m doing it. We had the money and we decided it was something we wanted to do. Once we decided that we’d do a “real” wedding and invite guests (I was fine with eloping but Fiance wanted a wedding and I came around), I realized that for it to be the kind of thing I’d enjoy it would mean forking over the cash. We’re still trying to keep it reasonable (15k range in a HCOL area) but that goes quickly. Even if we’d eloped we would have wanted to hire a good photographer & buy nice attire & rings, which easily would have been 5-7k right there. I haven’t had my wedding yet so I can’t tell you whether it’ll be “worth it” but I’m excited to have a once in a lifetime experience and share it with my loved ones. 

Post # 10
Member
2128 posts
Buzzing bee

I think you have to do what is comfortable for you, but I could have paid off a significant chunk of my mortgage with the money we spent on our wedding. Was it worth it? Absolutely! Money comes and goes, but making memories is important. In saying that, I come from wealthy parents so my ‘struggles’ financially are never serious. I don’t think anyone should ever go into debt for a wedding, or spend more than they can reasonably afford to. But my wedding day was an absolute blast and I treasure every memory and photograph. I’m pleased I got the opportunity to wear the big dress, and have the extravagant OTT party, but I also think that eloping comes with its own benefits and drawbacks. I looked at a private destinationwedding, but personally I’m pleased I didn’t go down that road. 

Do what works for you, bee! As long as you’re happy with your decisions, everything will be perfect! 

Post # 11
Member
816 posts
Busy bee

To me and my husband, no. We accomplished exactly what we wanted to do– get married– and spent less than $100 doing it (rings not included in that cost, obviously). We are putting our money toward a house instead. To us, house trumps wedding. 

Post # 12
Member
5734 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2018

Everything is relative and if you have other priorities, like a child then it probably isn’t ‘worth’ it. However stating that weddings are absolutely not worth it is a pretty pointless comment. Are expensive cars with it if they depreciate once you drive outside the showroom? Is fine dining with it if you can just go to a supermarket? Are designer clothes with it if you can find something cheaper?

Things are worth what people are willing to pay, and if something makes something happy then why couldn’t it be worth it?

Post # 13
Member
1628 posts
Bumble bee

I see weddings as a luxury. 

Post # 14
Member
1218 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

If it’s worth it to you, it’s worth it. It was worth it to me to throw a large wedding and have as many of my family and friends there to witness the event, and to make sure those who were there were hosted well. Everyone has different priorities though, and not everyone has the same priorities. No need to knock anyone who chooses to spend $$ on their day, all brides make different choices when it comes to their wedding! Sounds like eloping is the perfect choice for you, but it wouldn’t have been for me. 

Post # 15
Member
53 posts
Worker bee

I loved our wedding…. but I wish we had eloped. And my parents paid for almost all of it! 

 

On the one hand, I do love weddings. They are fabulous and fun and a great excuse to party with your friends and family. Also – the money you’re spending is generally spent on small businesses. You are directly supporting people in your community, if you want to think of it that way.

 

But if you are strong enough to say no to it? DO IT. Yes, there will be days you regret it. But it won’t be often enough to justify $15-20K that you could put in your child’s college fund or a house renovation or a family vacation …. 

 

Don’t feel pressured into it. Do what your gut is telling you. 

 

If you DO just want an excuse to party with family and friends, make it a more casual thing – a big BBQ, maybe. Spend about $2-3K and call it a day. No need for all the trimmings (invitations, formalwear you’ll never wear again, gifts for your bridal party, favors no one actually cares about, an ungodly amount of flowers that will die the next day, etc….)

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